Brief summary of Brazelton, please?

[NameThatMama]

I'm nearly 39 weeks pregnant, and I got the Brazelton Touchpoints: Birth to 3 book at my baby shower yesterday. As I started to read the book, I was a bit put off by how lesbian/gay families are totally not mentioned, as well as how much importance he puts in having a father figure around. That's simply not how my family is structured.

Right this moment and for the next couple of weeks, probably, I don't really have the time or mental energy to devote to determining if this guy is worth plodding through. Can someone tell me what he's about, and what are the general criticisms of his philosophies?

[NameThatMama]

Bump...

Anyone? Is there a better place I should have posted this?

[momof4peppers]

I can't address the lesbian angle - not my situation, so not the bias I read the book with, sorry.

But I rather like Brazelton, for his research-based conclusions and his 'trust your OWN instincts' message. In my reading of it, he was more of the 'relax and enjoy your baby, here's what's normal, it's a HUGE range, so don't be upset if you're on one side or the other of acceptable. He was also good for me in the 'here's what your pedi should be looking for, here's what you should bring up'. I fell into Mothering and AP after a disasterous initial experience with it (sobbed for DAYS after reading Sears - literally) Went the opposite extreme and leaned more toward Ezzo, and found Brazelton closer to Sears but more accepting of real world situations. For me, it was comforting to know that he has years of research to back up his conclusions, not just opinions. But I tend to need that validation.

I'm probably rambling, but I'm a believer in you can't reject a particular "expert" if you don't get a wide range of opinions, YK?

HTH

[NameThatMama]

I hear you. That's a useful summary for me to have, and it will help me look past a lot of the father-father-father stuff in there if I know that there's some decent material underneath.

Any other input or thoughts would be fantastic, too.

[L&IsMama]

I've skimmed a few of his books,the TouchPoints books. IMO,he's OK if you are just loking for general "what should my baby/child be doing on average now" type of things,but I'd never personally reach for his books for much more than that,kwim? I just didn't really "feel" it from his books. I *think* I recall him advocating CIO for babies/toddlers in one of those TouchPoint books,but this was like 2 years ago or so,so I may have him confused with someone else.
Summary: for basic development references,OK,but I'm sure there's better. For anything else,I'd skip Brazelton.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Brazelton is also big into your baby "manipulating" you from an early age, like six months. My mother, a Brazelton follower, used this as a reason why not to allow cosleeping, babywearing, and responding to cues. For the first few months it's fine, and then I guess my infants turns into little Baby Janes, pulling my strings.

This is the question: if they could really intentionally manipulate you, would they still be crapping their pants? Um, no. This would require a level of intellectual development that just isn't there.

[NameThatMama]

Yikes! Babies cry in order to get their needs met, not to forward some kind of agenda. Good to know. :

[flyingspaghettimama]

Well, I guess I'd temper my previous remark that yes, his essays and chapters on infant development are interesting. He comes across somewhat condescending (urgh, which baby advice books don't?); but he's sorta like the lovable but little-bit-backwards grandpa. You might listen to what he says half the time and the other half, you ignore. Particularly the bits about manipulation and baby sleeping in the family bed (I think he even brings up that old saw about it interfering in marital bliss).

[PancakeGoddess]

He's definitely a mixed bag. Not the worst at all, but there are better. DP and I have always appreciated the touchpoints concept though - IIRC, he talks about how development naturally takes a slingshot course, where children will regress a little before launching into a new stage. That has often been a comfort to us when one of the kids was really out of equilibrium.

I remember watching his show on TV and he did seem to *genuinely love* babies. Still some of his advice could be tossed.

[boongirl]

I've found Brazelton's books are not that easy to just skim. I like Dr. Sears books better for easy skimming. When dd was a newborn, I was a voracious reader of any parenting book I could get my hand on from the library. You name it, I read it. The Baby Book was and is my fave. But, Brazelton's Touchpoints are interesting to look at. There is not going to be one book that is the end all be all of parenting books for anyone. You just have to take this and that from all of them and create your own parenting identity.

[NameThatMama]

I agree. I wasn't very interested in parenting books because I don't want to rest on one particular way to do things. If I do, it won't be what works for my kid, and we'll both come out of that childhood hating me.

It's good to know that he's got good stuff about the developmental stages.