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Ballet is not for boys so sad, wwyd?

post #1 of 88
Thread Starter 
My ds loves his ballet class, it was kinda flukey they had advertised a preschool dance class, and the aupair was taking him, so when she told me they had girls in tutus...I thought the parents were being cutsie.... So I went to see his class today ........

Its a 100% ballet class a sea of pink tutus, pink shoes, pink pink pink
and he's the only boy.
DS loves it - loves it.
Teacher says he's a natural and he's got some moves down and follows well.

But he got very sad in his class today, wanted to go home that ballet is not for boys and he doesn't belong. I tried to tell him not to let those girls push him out of doing something he really loves. DH said if you don't want to go you don't have to, but I don't think thats the lesson here. I've always said my kids can take any lessons they want within reason, but would never push a kid to stay in lessons of something they hated. But he really loves dancing and loves his dance class...

Anyone got any suggestions for showing him he has a place there?
Should I point out to the teacher if the girls comment?
Or should I just make him a funky black ballet outfit with flames matching shoes and rent some masculine ballet videos? Find him a big boy ballet dude?

I think ballet is for boys hockey is for girls.
And how do I get adults who should be aware that making comments regarding sexual orientation and dance in front of a three year old boy is WRONG?

How do I know if he falls out of love with his dancing classes for real or just feels pushed out?
post #2 of 88
Talk to the dance studio owner and instructor and have them introduce your son to any other boys who are taking classes there. Also, I think the instructor of the class should have a talk to all the other girls in that class and tell them that they are plain wrong if they think ballet is not for boys. The cutest recitals are the ones that have boys in them. Who is going to lift the girls in the air (when they get old enough) if not the boys?

Watch some ballets on TV and show your son that indeed, there are men in every single one of them, there have to be men in every one.
post #3 of 88
I dunno, but I was thinking something similiar the other day... And I think the rocking ballet outfit sounds cool, and a dude ballet dancer/mentor sounds good to me also!
post #4 of 88
The dance studio in my town won't even take boys! Both my boys love to watch ballet on TV and they will dance around when it is on. It's so stinking cute. Even my almost 2 year old does it.

I'm sorry your son has been hurt and feels he doesn't belong. Definately talk to the teacher and show him other male dancers.
post #5 of 88
Thread Starter 
Its so sad I thought my days of running after a bus driver who is female to show my dd that see women do drive buses was done...now I am hunting down male dancers!

I've been looking for websites of schools that might have more males kicking around...sadly its fairy tutu hell all about pagents, recitals...I think I will do a few phonecalls tomorrow and find a school with more than one boy in a class.
post #6 of 88
rent Billy Elliot
post #7 of 88
If the ballet classes don't work out because DS doesn't want to continue, maybe there is another type of dance he would be interested in such as tap or jazz? It might be easier to find other classes with more boys in them in those types of dance and then your son could still be dancing. I personally hope all my kids (boys and girls) will be interested in dance... I love it but have no moves
post #8 of 88
Ouch! it's a brittish movie that I love and can't remember the whole name of, Billy something?? There's also a lovely book called "Thursday's Children" By rumer gooden. Definitely for older kids, but maybe something you could read to ds? I think it's saad that a boy who loves dance would get mistreated for it.
post #9 of 88
Thread Starter 
Perfect I had so forgotten about that movie!!!
Ds is a big movie buff!
post #10 of 88
Thread Starter 
I love it but have no moves
me too I still polka (raised in a german community going to myself
one two three one two three...
post #11 of 88
Thread Starter 
lol not sure if it was a compliment but the ballet teacher assumed I had been a dancer.... maybe it was the bun or the fact my little man was in ballet...
post #12 of 88
I think the flame outfit is a killer idea! Our ballet class is mostly girls, but we do have 2 boys. I also thought it a little strange that all the little girls were in uniform (pink leotard and white tights) but the boys were a little left out in the cold. When they are young like that, dressing up is a really big part of it. Let's face it, dressing up can also be a big thrill to an adult! I still love costume parties!

I am glad you brought this subject up. I am going to voice my opinion to our dance teacher and see what we can do to create a "uniform", so to speak, for the boys in her classes.

Good luck, and I would love to see a pic if you do the outfit!
post #13 of 88
I would make a good outfit that he loves, and I would rent/borrow from the library Baryshnikov videos. Talk about a man who can make ballet seem coool!!! And he is a real guy, who really made a living at it and who clearly loved it. And there is a lot of solo stuff that he did...so he can see ballet without the girls in tutus! Might be good for him.

I mean look at him!!!
post #14 of 88
My 4yo ds is in a dance class along with my 3 yo dd and several other little girls. Often times he is the only boy but he doesn't seem to mind. I think the dress code helps. The girls are are suppose to wear a black leotard and the boys wear a white tee shirt with black shorts. Sometimes the girls wear other colors, not often and NEVER a tutu. I would see if the teachers are willing to enforce a dress code. What do they do for the girls who can't afford a fancy outfit? But if they are not willing to do it then I agree with putting together a fancy outfit for your ds.

Sometimes I think the stereotypes for boys are more difficult to break down than those of girls. Our dance studio has a great picture of several young boys in football uniforms listening a fellow football player while he plays the violin. It's an ad I've seen before that says "Celebrate the Entire Boy," or something close to that. That's the message I am trying to reinforce.
post #15 of 88
We're up against this too. DS really wants to start ballet classes but has been put of because he thinks he'll be the only boy there. Juts gettign him there is tough but he looooves Angelina Ballerina and practices his dance moves all the time and says he'll be a ballet dancer when he grows up.

I thought of getting Billy Elliot but that's actually quite a disturbing film for young kids; I would have to highly edit it! Just the dance scenes are good. Aww I love that film.

And yes Baryshnikov, what a great idea!
post #16 of 88
This book (Max) was one of my favorites as a child.
post #17 of 88
If ballet isn't for boys, then how come I can think of at least five famous premier danseurs* and not one premiere danseuse.

*male version of "ballerina".
post #18 of 88
I would do some searching...in our area one of the major banks sponsors boys in dance. This is the programme here (this school is so awesome! they also have a danceability program for those with physical disabilities):


It's great because the sponsorship is 100% so boys don't have any tuition. It's our city's best kept secret.
post #19 of 88
When my older daughters were taking ballet, the dance teacher offered to teach boys for free!!!

post #20 of 88
As someone who grew up dancing and did dance professionally for many years, I remember how great it was when a boy would join us. Such a different chemistry on stage! Oh, well, I'm not helping...just reminiscing. I second finding male dancers in videos or elsewhere. Do you live in a place that has a local ballet company? If so, take your son.
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