Gifts Spinoff: What is it like where you live?

[maya44]

The "no gifts" thread which mentioned present opening got me thinking. IN different places there are different things that are "mainstream" with regards to: Do you open presents, how much is spent, type of gifts etc...

So what is it like where you are??

Where we live NO ONE opens gifts at a kids party.

Presents are stacked and then taken home to be opened. (Parties are almost never at home)

Gift costs between $12 (somehow this number is considered the minimum) and $30 ( for a very close friend). 15 is the most common "price point"

It is also typical to "go in" on gifts, so that gifts are not so "junky." This is especially true as kids get older.

For example for my dd's b-day next week two of her friends are going in to get her personalized stationary (they asked me about her favorite colors).

At my middle dd's last birthday three people went in and got her a cute skirt and matching tank top and necklace.

[NiteNicole]

Here, it's becomming much more common for people to request no gifts - either directly on the invitation with some clever little phrase or through word of mouth. If there are gifts, they are ALWAYS opened at the part. There is no general price range and people don't tend to go in together (tho relatives might).

Parties are often at home because people tend to have large lawns - those bouncy castle things and the big waterslides are very popular.

The weird thing (to me) is that when I was a kid, your parents dropped you off at a party and came back to pick you up two hours later. Now, the parents stay - usually BOTH parents. So you have to prepare a kid party with kid appropriate food and almost like a seperate party for parents with grown up food and drink.

[maya44]

Originally Posted by NiteNicole

The weird thing (to me) is that when I was a kid, your parents dropped you off at a party and came back to pick you up two hours later. Now, the parents stay - usually BOTH parents. So you have to prepare a kid party with kid appropriate food and almost like a seperate party for parents with grown up food and drink.

That is true here up til age 4 or 5. Then no more parents. Where you are also???

[afishwithabike]

I'm not sure I have only been to family parties with no friends. I had no idea things changed so much.

[primjillie]

In northern California ~ I have never been invited to a no gift birthday party. We spend about $20 on a gift and parents usually stay for the younger group and there is usually food and drink for the adults as well. Parties range from home parties to gym or Chuck E. Cheese parties.

[CarrieMF]

There are no no-gift parties here.

For classmates the kids are dropped off and picked up a few hours later. I have had 1 family stay, then they left for an hour or so and came back for an hour or so. Thankfully my mom was here to entertain them as I had things going with all the kids that were here. We had enough food we fed them, that wasn't a problem.

Gifts are open at a party, I have been to weddings where they aren't and it is uncomfortable. Those were generally in large cities, whereas I come from small towns where everyone and their dog shows up for gift openings. It seems like a courtesy to open gifts at a party. I don't let them open the packages of all things because I don't want them to get lost.

the amount depends on how well i know the kid and when payday was. Usually it is $12 for a kid I don't know well, up to $20 for a kid we know better. Family is a minimum of $20. I'd say $15 is a common price point too.

There are no big bouncy houses or nothing like that, way too much $$$ to spend on those things. Common parties are in the house, at Ruckers(game place), the bowling alley or the pool. Since my oldest has been in Elementary school all the parties have been at home, but after last year's disaster things are going to be much different for her party in Nov.

Nobody goes in together on gifts(though my oldest is only 7, when she's older she might with her friends). Though for Xmas we're going in with some friends of ours to get my niece/nephew(and their honorary niece/nephew) a good karaoke machine. They'll be 13 & 14. It's payback to my bil/sil.

[Patchfire]

We don't go to too many parties, but I've never even heard of a 'no-gift' party until reading on here. I've been to an equal number of parties where gifts were opened and where gifts were not opened during the party. Dd was a bit distressed at the parties where gifts were not opened (she wanted to see her friends' reactions and so on).

I don't know what the typical price is. I've generally spent around $10 and it seems like that's a fair estimate (though I reuse gift bags whenever possible - if you add on the cost of a new gift bag and tissue paper and a card, the cost does rise considerably!).

[midstreammama]

DD1 is 7. She gets invited to all her classmates parties. We usually pick her close friends and go to those. We usually get them a nice arts and crafts kit, maybe $10-$12.
Around here(Delaware), rarely do people 'go in' on gifts together. The parties that are not at home(most of them), the gifts are stacked and taken home. I think we haven't even gotten thank you nots for some of them.

I have never been to a "no gift" childrens birthday party, Its pretty much your ticket into the party, I think. They don't open them in front of the kids and dd gets really bummed about it.

I make her open them no matter where we have the party. Dd gets some really nice things. A few of her classmates even bought her clothes, which is nice. They know she likes fashion designing and things like that.

ETA: Dds 7th birthday party, we had a hayride and bonfire. Since it was super cheap, we invited her whole class. The ones that RSVP'd said theirh children would be dropped off. I had to politely remind them that there would be skewers, fire, open areas, and it would be dark. It would be best if they stayed. SOme parents sounded a bit suprised that I was asking them to come. Afterall, I put a lot of thought into the party, I would like it to be fun for me too! Adult conversation(that I don't get much of, at home with kids) is a bonus for me!!

[Kincaid]

Around here (medium sized city, Southern US state)... there are always gifts. Never heard of "no gifts" except for adult birthday parties or second weddings.

Kids birthday gifts seem to be at least $20. I would say $30-35 seems more average. Parties are usually held "somewhere" - gymnastics studio, museum, pool, arcade pizza place, ice rink, roller rink. If at home, there's the bounce house or something similar. Folks go to a lot of expense around here for child birthdays, it's all veeeery Martha.

I have never been to a party where gifts were not unwrapped at the party. Very rarely see kids dropped off by parents, around here droppers-off are considered "bad parents." The parents don't expect to be fed, though (rarely is there any additional "adult" food). Usually the parents are on the edges of the party supervising their kids and checking out everyone else.

Edited to add: These aren't my beliefs, just commenting on how things are done where I live. Forgot to mention the goody bags, too

[Babytime]

I'm in MA and we've never gone to a "no gifts" party. I spend at least $25 per gift ... up to $50 for close friends. Most of the parties the gifts are opened, but if it's at a place like My Gym that limits the parties to 1.5 hours, the gifts are usually taken home so as not to waste paid for party time.

Goodie bags are typically big here. I spend about $7 per goodie bag when I host parties and usually my daughter comes home with loaded goodie bags from parties, too. For example, my daughter is planning a "hula party" for her 5th birthday and we will be giving the kids grass skirts, lei necklaces and lei bracelets as favors. The kids will also be decorating picture frames with shells and taking those home.

[Quagmire]

I'm just getting into this whole party thing since my DD is turning 2. We are the first ones having a party somewhere other than home, but for the home parties we've been to, gifts have been opened in front of the guests (and immediately snatched and played with by all the children )

I was raised that way too - opening gifts in front of the giver was the polite thing to do, with an immediate and enthusiastic "thank you!" expected. So it was interesting to hear that some don't do that, and a big relief for me since I hate opening gifts in front of a crowd (wedding and baby showers were so very very long, and my smile was wearing out by the end!)

On the few parties I've been to I'd say the average gift has cost around $20-$30. For goody bags I'm trying not to spend more than $8-10 a head, but it's hard to find toys that are interesting and not a choking hazard for that price.

[oyemicanto]

I'm also in Mass (North Central). I have a two year old and four year old so I can only comment on that age group.

Generally speaking, parties are at home or a place like Gymboree or bowling. Gifts range $10-15 for friends, I will spend $20-25 on family or a very close friend. I've never been to a "no gifts" party. goody bags are always given - but usually limited to a dollar or two - maybe playdough, a whistle, some candy...

As far as opening gifts, it is considered tacky not to open gifts with your guests present. An immediate thank you is given (in addition to the thank you note to follow), and the children enjoy the gift opening.

I have been to one party where the gifts were stacked and brought home, but it is the exception rather than the rule.

funny how we all do things differently...

[oldcrunchymom]

I'm in Mass too but we lived in SoCal until my kids were 5 and 2 (they are now 10 and 7). In neither state have we ever been invited to a "no gifts" party for kids. And presents are always opened at the party, following blowing out the birthday candles.

Goodie bags are a big thing at most parties we've been to. My daughter's birthday is in March and I just scored some AWESOME stuff for her goody bags on clearance at KB Toyworks. Just had to brag.

Related story: When we still lived in CA, my ex and I were invited to a housewarming party by some friends of ours. On the invitations it said "The only gift we'd like is the pleasure of your company." We got there a little late and there was already a HUGE stack of gifts that other guests had brought. Of course we had gotten them nothing.

[wildmonkeys]

I live in the Washington, DC suburbs.

Gifts range from $10-$20 (in my social circle, but I can't speak for WDC in general )

People seem to do at-home, gymnastics, bowling, or swim parties.

My ds1 will be 6 on Weds. ( ) and he has been to a few drop-off parties in the last few months, but only in homes --- parents stay at pools, bowling, etc. Our house is small and he wanted an athome party so we decided to strive for a drop-off for the first time this year so he could invite a couple of extra friends (invitations said "if you and your child are comfortable doing so, plan to drop off, if you would rather stay - we would love your company and help!")

People open presents during the parties I have attended except for when the kids are 2/3ish and it might not go so well

BJ
Barney & Ben

[aussiemum]

Well, I guess I might as well post my north queensland, australia, perspective. It's not really all that different to everyone else's, but what the heck.

It seems to be a mix between birthday parties thrown at home, & those held at other places (such as ice skating rink, bowling alley, local parks, or the indoor, *airconditioned* play gym- it's an amazing place, i always take my socks so I can play too!, etc. etc.)

Gifts are almost always opened during the party at some point. I've never been to one where it's a focus, usually it happens as each child arrives. Nobody goes in on gifts- but family gifts, I could imagine, might be different. Price range for a friend birthday gift used to be about AUS$10- five years later it is really tricky to find anything decent under AUS$15. I agree that really cool gifts are immediately grabbed at by other children when gifts are opened as they come. This aspect i try & manage by removing any gifts from the fray that are obviously fragile, or need adult help. For example, when my ds received an air rocket thing-y for his birthday last year, it was a big hit, & the kids had a great time taking turns (monitored, btw) shooting air powered rockets into the sky. The art kit that he received, however, was put aside until the next day or so.

Also, thank you's for each gift as recieved are pretty much expected, as near as I can figure, but thank you notes are non-existent. I have lived in places in the past where thank you notes are expected, but definitely not in north queensland.

Parents always come to the under 6 birthdays, but generally after that most are happy to drop them off (at a private home, that is). When parents ring to rsvp, I have started to ask (our kids are 5 & 7 now) if the guest's parents would like to stay for the party, or if they would like to drop their child off & pick them up in two hours. I find if you offer coffee or tea & a biscuit to staying parents, then they are generally alright. And sometimes parents like to stay for the first 15 minutes or so, just to make sure everything is okay, before they go off for a while. It's all cool with me, I like to have a lot of food on hand anyway......

Games at home or in a park are pretty low key- 'pin the tail on whatever', 'treasure hunt', 'pass the parcel' & 'musical chairs' sort of stuff. Pinatas, for some reason, are also reasonably popular.

And we have lolly bags rather than goody bags, but I think the principle is the same. These also seem to be expected as a part of children's parties where I live. I'm afraid I'm known in my circle as being short on lollies (candy), & long on other stuff when it comes to stuffing the party bags........ I like to think I'm starting a revolution. Where one day instead of endless sugar in a lolly bag, there will be beads, & thread, & stickers.....