Cesarean Birth Support Thread January & February 2006 - Page 3

[crazyknitter]

I think I may be hanging out here for awhile. A post in the sept ddc (How will you birth your baby, page 2) has really REALLY upset me. As a pro homebirther, & natural birther, trained doula & LE that has to now have her children sugically, I need all the support I can get. I will meet with my OB on 2/13 for the first time since finding out I am pg again. At my pre-pg appt in october we discussed future pregnancies will be c-sec, probably at 39 weeks. (My dd died before birth last year.)
Anyway I want this to be as least traumatic & most supportive experience it can be. I will work out a birth plan so they know what I want & what to expect. I need a place where I feel I belong, not the bashing that is going on in the ddc. Thanks.

[eilonwy]

Faithsmom-- If I were in your position, I would see if I could plan a c-section after a trial of labor. From everything that I've read, having some labor before a c-section results in better outcomes for mom and for baby; even if, going into it, you know that you'll be unlikely to deliver vaginally if you're beyond 39 weeks, you can still go into labor and labor for however long before you have the c-section. It might make some planning a bit more difficult (making sure that the right OB is on call, etc) but you'll still get some of the "natural" experience (spontaneous labor) and maintain a degree of control over the entire experience. Perhaps you could plan to have a c-section after you get to 7 cm, or after X hours of labor if you're beyond 39 weeks, or something like that?

[Ben's Mommy]

Crazy knitter - I'm so sorry there isn't much support in the DDC. I lurk here often and hope that if I need a repeat c-sec that I'll have support too. I'm currently debating between vbac and rep c-sec. It's a very hard choice, and I will most likely be going with the c-sec too. I just want my baby to live NO MATTER WHAT, and how he/she will be born doesn't really matter. LIFE DOES. Come here for support as often as you need.

[Faithsmom]

Eilonwy--- They said I can definately have a trial of labor if I want it. I have read about how labor "activates" certian things in both the baby and mother and all of the benefits. I just don't want it to become an emergency. KWIM? Esp. knowing I most likely will not deliver vaginally going into it. I just somehow want to feel like I am definately making the right decision. Though when it comes to pregnancy and birth uncertianty is a given.

[Heavenly]

Hi I am 2 weeks past c-section # 3. I was planning a VBAC but I developed hypertension at 35.5 weeks which quickly got worse and she had to be born at 36 weeks. They couldn't induce because I had already had 2 c-sections so she had to be born by c-section. I am actually surprisingly okay with it. I thought I would be devastated but I'm not. My first two were emergencies, everything was hectic and scary. With this one time was of the essence but we had a day's notice to process everything and come to grips with it. I knew she had to be born and that there was no other way so I am fine with it. It was actually a wonderful experience. The doctor was really nice and funny, my midwife and DH were in with me and there was a very celebratory atmosphere. They took me in and did my spinal which didn't really hurt. The scariest part for me is always that I can still feel my legs but I can't move them or feel pain. It freaks me out and I kept making them promise not to cut until I was sure I couldn't feel it. DH says I say this every time. Then DH and midwife came in and everything started. The anesthesiologist was joking around with me and DH saying he had any cocktail of drugs I might want and just let him know when to slip me some. I was nauseous so he gave me something in my IV but it didn't make me sleepy at all. I was really excited about the whole thing. There was a lot of tugging and pulling but no pain. I heard a loud cry and asked if the baby was out and they said, "Well the head is." She started crying with only her head out! Then they pulled her out and DH yelled its a girl! They had to take her immediately to the warming bed because she was premature but after a bit of oxygen she was fine so they brought her to me. She was still all covered in vernix which for some reason was important to me because I had never seen any of my babies like that. Then they had to take her to the nursery but I was fine with that because DH and midwife went with her. They stitched me up and then I went to the recovery room. Everyone was so nice and respectful and the doctor came to see me in the recovery room to congratulate us. They brought her to me to nurse but then had to go back to the nursery to supp a bit of formula with a cup feeder because her blood sugar was dangerously low. She was 8 lbs. 4 oz. at 36 weeks so they think I may have had gestational diabetes (I didn't take the test). Then I was taken to my room and she was put in bed with me and hasn't left my side since. All in all it was a really wonderful birth. I want people to know that a c-section birth can be beautiful and peaceful. I was up and around fairly quickly and went home 2.5 days after she was born. I've only taken motrin and tylenol for pain and I am pretty much back to normal except for a bit of muscle soreness in my tummy. I had staples and they were removed before I left the hospital and my steri strips came off on their own in the shower when I was soaping the area. I am almost 100% positive we are done having kids but in case we change our minds the doctor did say we would be fine to have another c-section. I would not attempt a VBA3C.

DH took some pictures of DD emerging during the c-section. They are not gory at all so if anyone who is planning a c-section or might need one wants to see them let me know.

[CaraboosMama]

Originally Posted by crazyknitter

I think I may be hanging out here for awhile. A post in the sept ddc (How will you birth your baby, page 2) has really REALLY upset me. As a pro homebirther, & natural birther, trained doula & LE that has to now have her children sugically, I need all the support I can get. I will meet with my OB on 2/13 for the first time since finding out I am pg again. At my pre-pg appt in october we discussed future pregnancies will be c-sec, probably at 39 weeks. (My dd died before birth last year.)
Anyway I want this to be as least traumatic & most supportive experience it can be. I will work out a birth plan so they know what I want & what to expect. I need a place where I feel I belong, not the bashing that is going on in the ddc. Thanks.

I am so sdrry to hear about the b!tchiness in your ddc. As wonderful as burth (any type of birth) is - it is only on small part of being a mother. I am disappointed that it looks like I may need a c/s (due to vasa previa) but I am thrilled that the technology is there to help me safely birth my child!!

On a side note to the mom who was asking about touring the OR, etc...on our tour of the birth center we are using (it is part of a full hospital - not a free standing bc) the nurse showed us the birth center OR - specifically for C/s and other complications - instead of a separate OR in another part of the hospital. That made me feel a little better. Plus, the nurse kept stressing how the best place for babies after birth was in their parents' arms & not in the nursery, bassinette, etc. I wanted to give her a hug

[radish]

New here too!

crazyknitter - I am so sorry for the terrible post and lack of accountability and compassion from the mamas in your DDC.

I am 26 weeks and gave been on the fence since the beginning. Although I think I am FINALLY leaning towards a C/S.

My hospital does do VBACs but the stats/numbers arent very "encouraging" (97 over the last 2 years??).

I can choose to deliver at UC Davis in Davis CA (which is a WONDERFUL/crunchy place) or have a VBAC option in a non-birth friendly hospital.....

I just printed 2 birth plan options and am excited to start work on my own.

Thanks for all of the links, support and information mamas. And it really sucks that there is so much anti-C/S crap here. I am so surprised that MDC mamas cannot see the difference between an informed C/S CHOICE and a statistic.

[eilonwy]

But if we had made truly informed choices, we would have done what they did, didn't you know? And there's no way that our babies' lives were actually in danger at any point (nor our own), and if they were it's only because we didn't do enough research/eat enough protien/whatever. It's my fault and nobody elses that my daughter turned breech and dropped her cord, and if I'd known all of the risks of having a c-section I never would have done it, I'd have tried to give birth to her vaginally instead and if God wanted her to live she would have, and if not I should have been ready to let her go.

Sorry, I'm just not in the mood for unsupportive, self-righteous folk right now. I'm in too much pain and I'm too hormonal to deal with that stuff. :ignore

[mamabeth]

congrats on your birth, heavenly! I'm glad it was peaceful and everyone was respectful of what you wanted. I felt exactly the same way about my 2nd c/s. Eliana is a beautiful name too!

sorry the ddcs aren't helpful. I consoled myself with the thought that this is the only place where there's pressure the "other" way, but it all comes down to informed choice, and mamas need to respect that we really DO have all the info, we're just not choosing to VBAC (VBA2C, HBAC, UC, etc).

[ncastro]

Hi everyone,

I am new to MDC. I'm due with #3 10/16/2006. My 1st ds was breech, and after a failed external version was born by c/s in March 2001. For our 2nd ds, we had a c/s after a failed "trial of labor" VBAC.

As much as I would LOVE to be okay with all this, I know I can't say I am, but I'm trying. Knowing with the politics of birthing these days, I know this one WILL be a c/s. So, I'm trying to get to where I need to be (does that make sense?). I don't want to feel yucky about this one too! I think, by preparing this early, I CAN be okay with it all. However, that is why I have found THIS thread!

My first ob appt (with a new practice) is March 16th. I'm going to take my time in telling them my desires/hopes as I don't want to give them the wrong idea about myself.

Any thoughts from you ladies about trying to schedule vs. going into labor first?!?!?

I'm already learning a lot from you all.

Thanks,
Natalie

[guestmama9911]

Welcome!

I've only had one baby so I can't give much advice as far as labor vs planned c/s is concerned, but I wanted to simply say that the emergence of a baby is sacred and beautiful no matter how it is done. Having a c-section does not diminish the special nature of birth. You are a wonderful person for being willing to put yourself through a major surgery to help your baby enter the world. Don't let anyone tell you differently!

[ncastro]

Thanks! Really, my issues with my c/s are not from what anyone else has said. I do agree that having the healthly baby is the most important... my issues are more with a baby's start into the world and how that affects things (breastfeeding, adjustments, bonding, etc). I know I also have major issues with healthcare providers ATTITUDES towards how we birth, etc. But I'm not going there!

I do so appreciate your sweet message!
Natalie

[ncastro]

Originally Posted by crazyknitter

Anyway I want this to be as least traumatic & most supportive experience it can be. I will work out a birth plan so they know what I want & what to expect. I need a place where I feel I belong, not the bashing that is going on in the ddc. Thanks.

Crazyknitter, first of all, I'm so sorry about your dd. I truly cannot imagine. But I wanted to tell you that since we're due around the same time and we both are looking for similar things, that we're on the same page! Good luck to us both! ;-)

Natalie

[guestmama9911]

Originally Posted by ncastro

I know I also have major issues with healthcare providers ATTITUDES towards how we birth, etc. But I'm not going there!
Natalie

I was an emergency transport from a homebirth and the o/b on call who did the c/s was a jacka$$. I know we're not supposed to name-call in the forums but since I haven't said who he is, I hope I'm OK. Though IRL I tell everyone to avoid him like the plague. He was just downright mean to me, my DH and my midwife. So my DH and I had to do what we could ourselves to still make it a meaningful experience. And, we had to argue a lot to keep them from giving DS shots and eye ointment and keep him in the room with us and get the nurses to stop giving DS a pacifier and formula. :

My only consolation is that I know the c/s was necessary. Do I sound bitter? I think I may still be bitter. Hmmm....

The best advice I ever got was to remember bonding can still be complete after times of separation. Adopted children can become just as attached, so obviously a bad or non-existent beginning can be overcome.

Keep us all updated on how your pregnancy progresses.

[mirpmama]

hello all - what a wonderful and supportive thread! i looked at it a little bit during my pregnancy, once i found out my dd was breech and i would most likely need a c-section. we tried some tips, but decided against trying the version. so, i just resolved myself to the c-section and felt pretty good about it, though completely terrified of the recovery.....well here i am 6 days after the birth and pain/ recovery wise i feel pretty good. not a lot of pain, just some muscle soreness and difficulty moving around......unfortunately i was prepared for the pain, i was not prepared for these emotions....i thought i was totally prepared, honestly, i know it is frowned on here at MDC, but i am an epidural girl - so i thought - hey this shouldn't be that bad, no labor, a spinal, so i will be awake, quick procedure and then i get my baby girl.......but here i am 6 days later mourning that i did not get a vaginal birth......i know my hormones are bouncing off the wall so nothing is in perspective and i know the most important part is that she is here and healthy, but i had no idea how much i would miss the fact that i did not go into labor and deliver her - it just doesnt feel like i gave birth - it feels like i had surgery that has left me kinda sore and not able to move too well and got a baby too.....i am sure in a few weeks when my hormones are all better that i will not really care any more as i watch her thrive and grow - but right now it seems so important. and the procedure went well - the spinal was not great and they screwed up my IV, but my ds was able to see his new baby in the recovery room and they were tandem nursing within hours of her birth. she is doing well - just now starting to nurse well though which is hard on me coz my 3 1/2 old still nurses and has been a nursing champ since the first minute, so to see her struggle to latch and not stay on very long is hard on me and she is not pooping enough.....and i just wonder, maybe we took her out too early...it was only a few days before my due date, but i can imagine that in utero every minute matters - anyway, i know i am rambling...i am just happy to find support here - anyone have tips on what to do and not do in the next couple weeks of recovery - though my OB is great and the hospital we were at was wonderful (ds and dh stayed with me and baby the whole time, they welcome the siblings, didnt care that he still nursed and were very pro-breastfeeding) our discharge nurse was terrible and the only instruction she gave me was no heavy lifting for 6 weeks - thats it......thanks for the thread and thanks for any advice!

[wombatclay]

Congratulations on your newest little one (no matter how she arrived)!

You're right that at 6 days post partum your hormones are still doing the crazy dance...but don't discount your feelings about your birth! You've been through major surgery, you're takingcare of a new addition as well as your older dc, and it's totally normal to be second guessing and monday morning quarterbacking your decisions. Give yourself time to heal and process the experience!

You might want to check out the resources in the Natural Family Living c/s sticky (http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=401645) to get a good idea about recovering from a c/s (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc). Recovering from a c/s is more work than the folks at the hospital seem to realize, and it takes time. It's different for everyone, but take the time to heal...even if you feel fine in a few weeks don't try to do too much too soon!

Congrats again!