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Purge Your Mama Guilt! - Page 2

post #21 of 90
I feel guilt because I use the pacifer too much.
I feel guilt because I don't play with ds as much as he'd like.
I feel guilt because I am going back to work.
post #22 of 90
Guilty today because I am sick and I do NOT want to hold her, nurse her or feel any type of compassion for her. I want someone to baby ME. I want to sleep, wake up to fresh water next to the bed and a quiet house. I do not want to have to go to the store....the post offics and I sure as hell don't want to nurse her again. And then the guilt starts. She's two.
post #23 of 90
I feel guilty about not being able to spend more time with dd since I'm in school.

I feel guilty about not being able to pay all the bills, and then getting take-out because I'm depressed that there's no good food in the house.

I feel guilty for not being a sexy, fun, happy and spontaneous woman with my dh.

I sometimes feel guilty that we probably won't be "giving her a brother or sister". (Thanks Mom : )

I feel guilty that - aside from laundry and dishes - the house is a disaster.
post #24 of 90
I feel guilty for swearing at my dd in the early morning hours when I haven't gotten enough sleep.
I feel guilty for my lack of sleep due to spending some me time on the computer or reading after dd & dh are asleep.
I feel guilty for slamming doors and yelling when dh and I argue.
I feel guilty for complaining that dh doesn't do enough around the house when he works a full-time job to support us.
post #25 of 90
OK, deep breath, here goes....

I feel bad because sometimes I am so exhausted and short on patience that I yell at DS.

I feel guilty that DS no longer has one home, but has to be shuffled back and forth between homes for visitation.

I could go on and on....I carry a tremendous amount of guilt around
post #26 of 90
Don't we have a sighing smilie? <sigh>

I feel guilty when I see the happy, innocent, unsure, fun-loving young girl that I'm sure I once was in my DD and get angry at her for just being the person she is. I secretly, desperately hope she can remain that beautiful young person for as long as she needs, and not have to wall it off or shell it up like I did. I'm trying to not yell at her for not being "tough enough."



Good Lord, having abused parts of childhood sucked...I'm so trying to not make her grow up too fast. I love her so much.

And DS just wants to be loved and cuddled and have nummies...those are all the things in the world that make him happy in his little two-year old body. He's such a sweet soul, I hope to not be the one to put callouses on it.
post #27 of 90
I feel guilty for every other day of my three sons lives.
I feel guilty that I am good mama and evil mama.
I feel guilty that they know that.
I feel guilty.
Yelling. Being rough. Being angry. Letting out the monster. "The Incredible Elk"
How do we stop? When will it end? I love my children but I don't want them to grow up knowing this psychosis.
I hate being home all day; I have no choice.
Am I actually going to hit the POST MESSAGE button?
post #28 of 90
Quote:
I feel horribly guilty for leaving my DH and breaking up my family, now DS has to go to daycare a few days a week and we are struggling to get by, all because of my decision
Me too.
  • I feel guilty for not doing whatever it took to make my ex stay with us
  • I feel guilty for leaving dd in a daycare that I thought was great and later came to realize was not
  • I now feel guilty for leaving dd with my mother, who is only trying to help, but is becoming burnt out
  • I feel guilty for being gone 12 hours a day three days out of the week
  • I feel guilty for not enjoying my time with dd (I'm constantly aware of what I *should* be doing, or what I'd *rather* be doing)
  • I feel guilt for not having enough money to buy her the cool wooden toys and hand made dolls that I see (and guilt that I could be so materialistic)
  • I feel guilt that I miss her dad sometimes, and wish he would just come home (even though he left me for someone else, and is not remotely interested)
  • I feel guilt for screaming like a lunatic when she does something that is so DAMN NORMAL for a three year old



I also wonder if I have any business trying to raise her, but I love her so much it busts my heart.
post #29 of 90
This thread has me in tears.

I feel guilty for having ppd with Ds#1 and not knowing it/doing something about it. How could I not have known? Why did it have to get so bad with dd for me to realize that's what it was back then too?

I feel guilty for lost years. I SO wish I had prepared myself for motherhood BEFORE getting pregnant, instead of just finding out along the way.

I feel guilty for the strains I've put on my marriage, and thank God that I am changing them now.

I feel guilty for getting so bent out of shape over really stupid things, rather than just laughing. I need to laugh more.

I feel guilty for not honoring my true self and my convictions. I need to stand up for myself more and recognize myself as a valuable human being, so that my kids can learn from my example and feel that way about themselves.

I feel guilty because I can't help my parents. They are lost to gambling addictions and destructive personalities, and i'm not enough to pull them out.

I feel guilty for not taking care of myself. I know I would be so much happier by making several minor changes, but yet can't pull out of the rut long enough to do it.
post #30 of 90
I feel guilty because I wish I had atleast one weekend a month away from my daughters. I also feel guilty when DP and I go out to dinner, and they aren't there w/us(even though the break is quite lovely). I also feel guilty when I'm drinking a shake, and the girls aren't around to ask me for some. I know weird.
post #31 of 90
I feel guilty for not really trying elimination communication with my kids..if I have another one I hope to accomplish this.

I feel guilty that I hate to cook when I get home from work.

I feel guilty about my kids not getting up in time to eat a good breakfast before they go to school....there were a few mornings they did not eat breakfast at all.

I feel guilty about letting my children have one junk food day every two weeks; this is a day they can eat candy and chips all day and have chili and cheese dip for dinner.

I feel guilty about my house being one big junk heep. It is never neat!

I feel guilty about not having enough time to train my dogs adequately; they only come when they feel like it...not when called; AND they get out of the yard.

I feel guilty for not wanting to be with dh because I am so darned tired!

I feel guilty because I cannot homeschool.

Oh dear, I am starting to get depressed...enough for now.
post #32 of 90
Thread Starter 
I feel guilty for not being a better shining example of gentle discipline.
post #33 of 90
i feel guilty that i feel more connected and closer to my 3yo and 8mo than to my 5yo

i feel guilty as i can see a lot of his unkind behaviour toward his little brother comes from feeling sad and jealous but that i dont seem to be able to connect to him and make him feel better

i feel guilty that there bedrooms arent beautiful and tidy all the time

i feel guilty that i often run out of staple foods as i seem to be so busy doing som many other things

i feel guilty that my 3yo's exuberance causes him to be told off so much when he is just such an adorable energetic bundle

i feel guilty because some days i just feel so damn sad that i do not create a beautiful joyous place for my children to be

i feel guilty because i stayed up too late watching lost last night so i am coping even worse than normal

i feel guilty that i dont cherish my 5yo enough or spend enough alone time with him

i feel guilty that my home, marriage and parenting isnt perfect
post #34 of 90
I feel guilty that my Mum looks after my son for me while I work (part-time) and then goes to work herself in the evenings (Damn, I love this woman, what would I do without her)

I feel guilty for using disposable diapers on my ds against my better judgement. I wanted to use cotton/natural but was talked out of it.

I feel guilty when I have raised my voice at my son when I've been exhausted
post #35 of 90
I feel guilty that I shouted " I hate being a single mom" while holding my screaming and crying infant

Today while we were napping I knew she was awake but still kept dozing... I actually rolled over away from her when I woke up fully she had two baby blankets covering her face and head...SCARY one was pretty snug she easily could have suffocated. SUPER GUILTY
post #36 of 90
It's great to know we're not alone...

I feel guilty for not wanting to spend the quality time with my kids that I know they need...

for yelling at my kids, it seems like daily (especially to my 7 y/o)

for sometimes wishing (secretly) that I never got married or had kids.

for wishing that my kids weren't so dang needy & clingy all the time

sometimes I wish I could just stick them in public school so that I'd be "free" of 2 of them for 7 hours

I don't think there will be enough room to list all my guilt, but these are the ones I face daily!!
post #37 of 90
I feel guilty because I'm the reason they don't have a father in the house. Maybe I could have changed my tune just a bit and maybe it would have worked out.

After being single for 6 yrs and for working 3 yrs straight, I feel guilty cause I'm just flat out worn out. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope.

I feel guilty cause I would love to have a social life. Just once a week get away for a few hrs and have some fun. I never do that.

I feel guilty cause even though I enjoy being single, deep down I would like to find a nice, loving man to be with.

I feel guilty cause their father doesn't want anything to do with them. I should have married better the first time around.

I feel guilty (I'll try not to embarrass myself here), because in my heart, I feel like if I was an attractive woman who wasn't low-income that I could get a man. I've seen so many single moms get boyfriends so easily and I've always felt the reason why I can't do that is because of my looks and my income.

I feel guilty cause if I could snap my fingers I would change my life completely.

I feel guilty cause sometimes I feel like I want to leave and never look back. Not that I would ever do that to them. But sometimes I long to be free with no responsibilities. I've had responsiblity on me since I was 16. I'm now 30 and feel like I'm 60.

I homeschool them and yes that's a personal choice. But if I was to send them to public school, I know that I couldn't afford it. I know they would be the kids who are made fun of cause what they lack.

I feel guilty cause they don't get to see a happy-go-lucky mom a lot of the times. They see a mom who is wore out, exhausted and who has forgotten what joy is like.

I feel guilty cause I think my son is going to grow up with bad teeth like I've always had. I don't think he's going to be approved for braces. I know how bad teeth can kill a person's self-esteem. I feel guilty cause I can't just go out and fork over $5,000 for braces for him.

I feel guilty cause I feel like all of these yrs I've given 100%, but I feel like it's not good enough. It's never been good enough. But I feel guilty cause I know they deserve better. And I know that I'm smarter than this and better than this too. I just don't know how to get out of the ruts in life anymore. I'm just so worn out. No joy, no fun.
post #38 of 90
I feel guilty for not being the kind of mother I want to be

I feel guilty for moving away from ds's dad even though he left me for someone else

I feel guilty for not being able to find a job in Tennessee

I feel guilty for needing time to myself and companionship that doesn't always include ds

I feel guilty when I yell at him

I feel guilty when I allow another man to belittle me in front of my son and then allow him to belittle my son too (this was recent and I'm angry about it and it's not happening ever again)

I feel guilty when my ds bears the consequence of my lack of self-esteem

I feel guilty that I can't provide the "normal" things -- a car that isn't a beater, music and athletic classes, all organic food, etc...

I feel guilty when I'm lazy, when I just can't get up and do the laundry, the dishes, clean the floors, pick up the toys, again today

and what another poster said, about feeling like I'm not good enough to raise my ds but he is my joy

I feel guilty for being so close to 40 years old and still not having my sh*t together, still confused just by the act of living
post #39 of 90
I feel guilty for not being the perfect mom.
For wanting a break.
For using disposable diapers sometimes.
For not turning off the tv when I should.
For being bored to tears.
For not being a very good housekeeper. My house is trashed!
For just not being able to keep up with being an adult and all my responsibilities.
Oh, and smoking a cigarette every now and then. Yuck!
post #40 of 90
I feel a little guilty because so much of my attention goes to my oldest daughter. My youngest is nearly three, and is very easy going/low maintenance. My oldest is six-she always challenges me in a good way and responds so well to enrichment, and I really enjoy being with her! Which isn't to say I don't enjoy being with dd#2, but dd#1 tends to be on a level where I feel very comfortable being. In any case, dd#1 is in school more this year, and I have the opportunity to give all of my attention to dd#2 and am really enjoying it. I'm getting to see who she is away from her sister.
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