Feeling guilty...

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Dd turned 3 in Nov....for about a month now she has been asking to go to school.....

I work 2-3 weekdays and my sil keeps dd at my house, takes her to park, library etc. I planned to homeschool b/c I am afraid "traditional" school is too structured and pressured...I like montessori, but financially this is not an option for us.

So now my plan is to enroll dd in a church based 3k 3 days a week from 8-12 and if she likes it I can increase her attendance this fall and if she HATES it we will stop.

I feel guilty b/c I didn't want to have to put dd in a daycare....dont want to push her academically....and b'c part of my hesitation is that I will have to wake dd up about an hr and half earlier than she wakes.

Please reassure me that I am not ruining my child....I think she just wants to explore people beyond family.

Oh the curriculum they use at his school is A Beka ???? any one know anything about this???

[lauren]

That sounds like it might be quite nice, as long as you're comfortable with the curriculum. My understanding is that A-beka is a primarily Christian homeschooling curriculum. My guess is you can do a search and find out a lot about it.

[sarasprings]

If your DD is asking to go to school, you are following her lead.

I know I may be in the minority, but I don't see 2 or 3 days a week at half day preschool as child care. My son goes 2 days a week because he seemed ready for something of his own. The first month was a little rough because he had never been away from me, but he's in a coop where DH and I are in the classroom as volunteers and welcome to stay any day for as long as we want. I occasionally get a few errands done during preschool time, but DH pretty much expects nothing because he knows the purpose of DS being in school is social (it's a play based program), not for me to have time to get work done.

I do feel guilty because when school started, DS was at a point where he didn't want to be there alone (whereas last year around Jan/Feb he seemed ready and then when we visited schools, he enjoyed the different toys, etc), and he didn't really want me to leave until the last month or so (I stay and play with him for the first half hour and arrive back at school for playground time), but he pretty much always comes out with a huge smile on his face, ready for a big hug and kiss.

But for him, I honestly don't think the transition would have been easier if we waited a year, either, just based on his personality, which is why we kept him in. The routine at school helps and I let him know who the helping Momma/Daddy/Grandma is for the day. He has a group of friends there that we see socially and he's begun to talk about them on non-school/playgroup days.

Anyway, it is very different from going out with your or your sil. That may be great for many children until they reach K (if they are going to school), but as with anything else, every child is different.

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Thanks, we tour the school tomorrow.....I've not had much luck serching A beka..... ust lots of sites that sell homeschool stuff

[4evermom]

Try asking, or doing a search, about Abeka on the homeschool forum. I remember it being mentioned recently .

[lauren]

Did you check this site? It is originally a homeschooling curriculum but I guess they are adapting it to use in a group.

http://www.abeka.com/

[It's me!]

my 2 cents....

I think if your DD is asking to go, then it's fine to send her and let her experience it. I homeschool and am a BIG advocate but my son (2nd grade) has never been to school and I do sometimes wish I could just send him for a short time, so he can see how good he has it LOL

I have never used A beka, but I've only heard raves about it. A lot of homeschoolers use it (and yes it's Christian based). It's also a very expensive curriculum...if you were buying it yourself, it's at the top of the homeschool curriculum in price range. The only thing that I've heard that kept me away from it was that it is very...um....advanced? And a lot of book work. I like a little more laid back approach...but really for preschool who knows? I'd let her go, play it by ear and just hope that as it gets more like school and less like play group, she may ask to come home and learn.

You aren't a bad Mommy LOL

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Thanks...this school has an excellent academic record....highest average SAT in our area...but thats not why we are doing this.
And as far as book work...dd LOVES it... she will literally sit and do an entire preschool work book in one sitting.....I am the one who has to endure :-)

[It's me!]

Well there you go then! LOL

Sounds like so far it is a fit. I hope the tour goes well too.

Let us know how it turns out.

[velochic]

Originally Posted by MOM2ANSLEY

she will literally sit and do an entire preschool work book in one sitting

WOW!! At her age!! All I can say is WOW!! Cool beans!

[MOM2ANSLEY]

We took a tour today..dd was shy, but did seperate from me, so I guess we will try it.
Their curriculum consists of 3 workbooks, but each page is simple...trace the letter, circle the group of two, color the triangle etc. Most of all dd wants to be with other children...so we will see what happens.

[CherryBomb]

I've always planned on homeschooling, but enrolled my 4 year old in preschool a few months ago. She was always asking to go (she told me once, "but mommy, I want to go to REAL school, not have pretend school with you ) We live in the middle of nowhere and she hardly ever gets to play with other kids, and I can't afford to drive 80 miles for homeschool groups. *sigh* I still struggle with feeling guilty over it, but she adores her school (and is totally enamoured of her teacher!) and we actually have more fun learning at home now.

Most of all dd wants to be with other children

I think that was really the big issue for my dd as well. If we lived somewhere with lots of hs resources maybe it would've been different.

And honestly, I'm very high strung to begin with, then the stress of caring for a baby with speical needs wasn't helping. This is working out better for all of us.

[It's me!]

I think that is great!

I'm a homeschooler, terrified to send my child to public school. I wish more people would try homeschooling and FEEL the benefits, but I'm not one to say it is right for everyone. What is important is to live by what feels right for you and your family. I feel that way about everything. I also breastfeed and encourage anybody to at least try it,,,but I know lots of people that it just didn't work for. Some of those people (I felt) had legitimate problems with BF'ing and some...just weren't into it (again, my opinion) but they did what they needed as a family. My DS (preemie) didn't do well at it and broke my heart when he weened at 8 months (and was being supplimented before that), my DD BF'ed for 2 yrs. I use cloth diapers and use a sling etc. I strongly encourage others to try these things...but I don't look down on people who don't or even think it's weird. As much as some people get too caught up in the "rules" of being main stream, just as many people get caught up in the "rules" of NOT being mainstream. I am a weird mix. I'm not crunchy by any means but I do cloth diapers, I make my own laundry soap and baby wipes and solutions. I'm not a gardener though and I don't compost and I'm not a very good cook. I co-slept with one child, tried it with the other and SHE wasn't comfortable, so we stopped. I wouldn't say I "do" AP, but I do a lot of AP stuff. We all just have to find our fit and not worry about "the rules" no matter what side of the fence they come from.

I'm sorry, did not mean to get off topic. But I think it's great that ya'll are listening to your family needs and adjust when things go differently than you expected...that is a great thing and we should all feel GOOD about that!

Keep it up ladies! We can creat a better world!

[mamaduck]

I think preschool is a great idea, but I would explore this particular program very carefully. Abeka is very structured and there is a lot of pressure put on the kids, IMO. I don't see why a 3 yo. child needs a structured curriculum at all. Also, I would ask very pointed questions about how they handle discipline issues at this school. I would make sure that children are not spanked or humiliated in anyway.

I would also look carefully at montessori options before you give that idea up entirely. My oldest went to a church preschool that was just okay. My little one goes to a montessori program that is *amazing.* The difference in cost is about $20 a month. I really wish we had explored more options with our oldest.

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Originally Posted by mamaduck

I would also look carefully at montessori options before you give that idea up entirely. My oldest went to a church preschool that was just okay. My little one goes to a montessori program that is *amazing.* The difference in cost is about $20 a month. I really wish we had explored more options with our oldest.

unfortunantly, Montesorri is about $300 more a month....plus I would have to drive 30 min to the school, an hr to work and then find a way to have dd picked up....or pay another fee for "daycare"....And still find someone to pick up dd afterdaycare...and our Montessori program REQUIRES 5 day a week attendance.... the preschool with A Beka does not...they have about 30 min group time daily, time for "workbooks" if the children are willing and then playtime, snacktime, music time etc.

We have our 1st day tomorrow...my biggest concern is waking dd to go.

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Well...we did it..dd went to her preschool yesterday...she loved it...no tears!
Her teacher said she asked her if she would be back tomorrow, dd said "I'll have to ask my mommy" ....So cute!

[bobandjess99]

I am already planning on putting dd in a preschool program as soon as she turns 2......I never thought I would, but she is the most SOCIAL kid ever.. (so NOT me..I have no clue how to deal with the whole "wants to be with other kids all the time" thing LOL!) She LOVES being around other jkids, any other kids.....we do go to storytime at the library, and are going to try to get into a class at the local baby gym program (but its $$$), but it is SO NOT enough!! When we are out, like at the store or on an errand, if there is a family with little kids, she will go over and "join" that family and cry when i take her away. It is so cute, but sad! I still plan to homeschool, but I don't see a couple hours a few days a week as taking the place of homeschooling or being bad for her at all, it is just like getting together and hanging out with friends. If, for some reason, she hates going to preschool, I will take her out, but I can't conceive of that happening....

[MOM2ANSLEY]

Well dd attended 3d last week and today, I know it is early, but she loves it...makes me wonder if I'm not giving her all the attention she needs at home? Today I overheard her singing days of the week. Something I never attempted b/c I knw she can't grasp the concept of days, months etc yet....but to her Its a good song I guess. Anyway she realy seems to love it, So no more guilt over sending her. But as a mom I guess I'll find something else to worry or feel guilty about soon enough. Thanks for everyones comments and support.