I finally figured out an effective method of getting my point across when people give me anti-AP advice. Last weekend my SIL came to visit from out of state to meet her nephew - our 3 month old. Almost the whole weekend she confided in me with accounts of how her parents were so aloof & unloving to her and my husband, how they never took an interest in her interests, etc. I spoke with her last night and she was telling us how much she enjoyed the visit blah blah blah, but threw in a comment, "You sure give Luke a lot of attention - he's going to expect that when he gets older, you know." So I said, "well, we don't want him to grow up and feel unloved and unsupported the way that you guys did." SHUT HER RIGHT UP!!!! I realized that most people I know have feelings that their parents were distant since most people were parented with mainstream methods - yet at the same time they feel the appropriate way to parent is to give your children minimal attention. Proof that people don't empathize with babies, they seem them as objects, not human like themselves. I realized though, if you just bring the point back to them, and the way they were parented - you can drive the point home very effectively!
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1/30/03 at 3:27pm