Love song for the intact penis

[baybee]

http://www.birthlove.com
Luscious Beauty and Sadness Beyond Words (love song for the intact penis)

I am a foreskin novice. I have never known a lover with an intact penis; my six sons, of course, are intact, but I do not examine their penises! (Nor clean them for that matter, they clean themselves.) So in researching this newsletter, I was looking at pictures of intact penises on activist websites... and my response to them startled me. I will share my experiences here, in the interest of at least one mother or father reading this thinks twice about circumcising their baby boy.

I used to think penises were rather bland and straightforward- nowhere near as interesting as the external female genitalia. But then I saw photos of intact, erect, adult male penises... and wow. Crazy arousal, sadness- mad thoughts ran through my mind, won't share them here, but my jaw was on the floor... I simply had no idea how luscious and sexy men could be. Intact penises look so hot... everything about them looks so wild and amazing. The foreskin adds such a level of sexy beauty to penises- a wild, sexy mystery. It is like a... veil that is drawn back, and slowly, dark, wet male beauty is revealed.

Wow. Apparently on some TV show women were talking about non-circumcised men (I think it was "Sex in the City" or something) and they said "eeewww!" Well I say "eeeewww" to their silly reaction!!! Luscious mystery; intact loveliness; beauty and wild ecstasy unveiled... wow. Intact penises are the sexiest things I have ever seen. Their beauty makes my head dizzy. They- say the women who have been intimate with them- feel like silk, and are beautiful to have inside them. Men say foreskins feel good for them too- like soft, long hair caressing their penises. But it's built in...

My husband is circumcised. Excuse me while I @%^$#%$&%&^*%&^%$$% out loud about that- what beauty have we both been deprived of?- what sweetness of ecstasy? Foreskins account for an enormous amount of the male sensory experience- and the female... sweet sliding skin that lubricates itself- wow. Wish I could have some, but I can't, never will, and it hurts. It really hurts. I am a one man woman, I love my husband. But my heart hurts. I wish so badly that he didn't get his penis cut apart as a baby boy- not just for my own selfish reasons of course, but also for his- can you imagine the pain of it- the foreskin, says one intact man, "isn't the wrapper on the candy, it's the candy". It feels good. So can you imagine the pain of having it sliced off???

My husband says it doesn't bother him that he is circumcised. Well I'd say the same thing if my clitoris were cut off as a girl, and I'd never know the ecstasy of it. I'd not let it matter. But it would!!! A comparison that many women will relate to: women who have episiotomies (their vaginas cut open by their doctors or midwives in birth) often have reduced sexual sensation afterwards- the cut permanently severs sex-receptive nerves. "At least I have a healthy baby"- they will rationalize their loss of ecstasy with that- but- what if it's not true? What if the cut was done so the baby would just pop out instead of ease out? (Episiotomies have been proven in mountains of research papers to be cruel and pointless.) How could she rationalize that? "I lost my orgasms so my doctor could get home in time for dinner"- can you imagine the rage that she would experience if she understood what was lost? (And does she dare touch the rage, and see what lies beyond it?)

Translate that into the male experience. If all those men who were ever circumcised understood that their penises could be have been particularly exquisite tools for pleasure (and that "health and hygiene" reasons for circumcising amount to nil) would they be so eager to circumcise their own little boys because it was "good enough for them"? Do they dare touch the sex that was so quickly and permanently lost? It's a pain beyond rage. Why are beautiful bodies medical platforms for invasion? Why do cut genitals equate "medical care"?

I am so sad that neither my husband nor I can ever know him in his most natural form: intact- perfect- beautiful. He is beautiful as he is now, but he bears the mark of the wounded baby... and a mutilated man. And for this I will always be sorry.
Leilah McCracken, site owner, British Columbia

[DaddyJoe]

Pain and longing should not be so beautifully written. I wish I could say something that would soften it. The tragedy is that what you have written is the truth and that there's no taking it back. Your husband could restore like I have, even to the point of looking and feeling completely intact, but it will never be "natural" and there will always be some degree of loss, no matter how close it can be restored to the original.

If you feel such longing, I urge you to pursue restoration with your husband. It is so true. Men fear to touch that rage and move beyond it. There is healing in restoration, but there is also a steep cost. It takes so long, and the whole while a man has to grapple with frustration, impatience, aggravation and the reality of having part of his body stolen away. You cannot restore without feeling that pain, and some men simply do not have the capacity to bear it. They accept defeat. They insulate themselves in denial. Or worst of all, they turn it outward and seek to inflict that pain on others, thinking that circumcising everyone will give them the comfort of conformity. After all, if no one has one, they can pretend it never existed in the first place.

I am so happy now that I am restored. There is a huge difference between intact and circumcised. Anyone who says different is telling a monumental lie. I do wish I was naturally intact, but restored is so wonderful I do not feel I even have a right to complain when so many will never know the beauty, satisfaction and fulfillment of intact sex.

Bless every mother who leaves her sons intact. I can tell you that it is the greatest gift a mother can give to a child.

[njeb]

Wow. Just......wow. I'm sitting here crying; she articulated my feelings beautifully. What a powerful piece of writing!

[Lizzardbits]

Wow! i am sobbing and speechless....

[pdx.mothernurture]

That was beautifully written.

...and heartbreaking.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

Jen

[eightyferrettoes]

That says how I feel about it better than I could ever hope to.

[Galatea]

Yep, I have mourned my dh's loss many times. Seeing what he has left, and seeing our son's penises, I know he would have had a very long and luxuriant foreskin, too.

[Microsoap]

Originally Posted by Galatea

Yep, I have mourned my dh's loss many times. Seeing what he has left, and seeing our son's penises, I know he would have had a very long and luxuriant foreskin, too.

I secretly mourn for my partner's loss, even though he's happy with what he's got. He knows I wish he had at least had a choice in the matter (like, if he was left intact and chose to get a circ at 18), he gets very defensive because it looks like I'm attacking his parents... and their decision.