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Are you done?

post #1 of 38
1/25/06 at 3:58pm
Thread Starter 
Having babies that is.

Am I the only nut who's already thinking about the next baby? (would be #4 for us). Dh is going to be hard to convince. I just have this gut feeling, like our family isn't done yet. Is this crazy or what? I'm thinking maybe when Samara is 4. If I can wait that long.

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post #2 of 38
1/25/06 at 4:13pm
dh has always wanted 4 but i've always wanted only 2...not sure why...but i think that dh feels "complete" now too...i'm pretty sure we're done, but i never say never.
post #3 of 38
1/25/06 at 5:15pm
i want another one, since i was 14 i have wanted four. dh said 2 we compromised on three. then he decided no just two, then said maybe three. i think three is good, i don't think we will do four unless i have twins next time.

i want to wait until Jewely is nine and josephine is six. June would be good. june 2012, thank you very much.

courtney
post #4 of 38
1/25/06 at 5:23pm
I like even numbers :

Bethany, I'm with you -- 4 is cool!

Of course... 10 is an even number, too. Just kidding!!!

I just have to cure myself of HG tendencies though. I'm going to do a cleanse in the fall when Joie will most likely be eating some solids.

I'm thinking... a baby in the spring of 2008 sounds nice. Anyone in with me???
post #5 of 38
1/25/06 at 5:47pm
I was pretty sure I was done when I was pg. Like 100%. Well now I am only about 90%. Okay, maybe 70%. HAHAHAHAHA I dunno. I kept 3 maternity things, jeans, jean skirt (long), and jean skirt (short) and ditched everything else. I asked dh "should I keep her baby clothes or are we done?" and he says " well I think we are done but if it happened it wouldnt be totally horrible." So whatever that means. HAHA!

He doesnt want a vasectomy though (when I was pg we were talking vasectomy but now he says no). So I guess we may or may not be done. Who knows. I do want to make sure that financially more is ok. I dont want dh to feel extra burdened or anything and I want to be able to take them travelling and help with cars, weddings, first houses......stuff like that like my parents did for me.

I'd love to have another homebirth. LOL But I am NOT a fan of BEING pg. And definately not anytime soon. I get too sick and my newborn deserves full attention right now.
post #6 of 38
1/25/06 at 6:04pm
oooh, desiree, let's be pregnant again together, ok? Spring of 2008???
post #7 of 38
1/25/06 at 6:20pm
I've always wanted four and DH does too, but we're aiming for "two pairs" since we have two just 18 months apart. DH's family has this weird pencil thing where they predict how many kids you will have and which sexes and for both DH and I it said two girls and then two boys. We'll see...
post #8 of 38
1/25/06 at 6:48pm
I think I might be but I'm not sure. We might like to have just one more but not close together like this. I need a few years and then I will reconsider. I'm with Desiree. I hate being pregnant but had such an awesome birth experience I would like to do that again. I am having some trouble adjusting to a new baby though.

who knows what the future will hold!
post #9 of 38
1/25/06 at 7:12pm
Yes, wouldn't it be fun to pregnant all together again?!

Well, two weeks ago, I would have said, "um, I don't know." But now I am back to wanting at least three again - now that I am feeling relatively back to normal, whatever that is. I'm not sure about the whole being pregnant thing, because I was so ill with DD. However, I REALLY want to do another birth again, because this one was so much better than the last, and I want to try again to do it even better...is that insane? Especially seeing as I am the only person in the whole world who has any sense of my own birth accomplishment...

So, if I can just keep my body together at the joints through this next 2 or so years of babywearing and night nursing...? That's what did me in with DS, but Kali is letting me sleep a bit more. We'll see!

Growing up it was only my little brother and myself. It seems like it would to have more siblings around. Or is that just self-justification? I think 3 or even 4 would be nice...

But, as I am writing this, I have one in a stroller and one in a front pack and BOTH ASLEEP and I had friends (i.e. help) over all day. So ask me again when I'm trying to deal with two little monsters both peeing, pooing, crying and hungry all at once when I am soaked with my own milk, stinky, unshowered and unfed and unchai-ed first thing in the morning ...

post #10 of 38
1/25/06 at 8:41pm
I'll join the Spring 2008 club! So let's see... note to self - must TTC during summer 2007. Ok!

I'm glad this subject came up. Right after the birth I felt strongly that I could never go through labor again. Even though in many ways it was the PERFECT birth and everything I wanted, there was still no getting around the fact that it was painful. Back labor is not my favorite thing. But at the same time I looked at my tiny baby and thought I'd like to have a few more like him.

At this point what I've come up with is this: labor is the opposite of fun. Next time I'm in labor I will be thinking all the same things as last time ("shoot me now! why didn't we adopt?!?"). BUT labor lasts for one day and the child lasts for a lifetime so it's going to be worth it!

DH and I would both like to have 4 kids. Well, he says he wants a baker's dozen but um..... we shall see. He grew up in a family of 4 kids and loved it, and I have only one sibling and wish I had more. So I think we'll be having a few more eventually.

FYI - my aunt has 4 kids and she said that the third one was the hardest to learn how to juggle more kids than parents, and how to get individual time with each child. But after 3 you just get it figured out, and the 4th child was easy to add to the family. Apparently many families feel the same way; 3 is the hump and after that you just groove with it
post #11 of 38
1/25/06 at 10:18pm
I am already considering another. But i want to wait until Tharen is at least three if not four. I had an IUD placed Monday, so there probably won't be an oops baby. Dh is a bit less enthused about more. I just feel like our family isn't done yet. And truthfully I would really love to have a little girl. When the nb phase is past dh will most likely be more open to the idea, but I want to get my body back in shape. I have lost all of the weight I gained with Tharen, but I still have a bit of weight left from Kearnan to lose. Plus my last two pregnancies have been very dramatic, and hard on my body. I would like to recover from that before getting pregnant again. We have also discussed adoption. We have talked about adopting a little girl from China. I would still like to be pregnant again though. I want to feel my baby growing inside of me, and be able to breastfeed. I really wanted a big family, I imagined myself on a farm with a bunch of little boys running around. But I like my kids spaced too far apart to have a very big family, plus we could never afford it. So maybe just one or two more.
post #12 of 38
1/25/06 at 10:35pm
Oh, oh, can I be in the Spring 2008 club too???

DH would love to stop at two, but I'm pretty certain I have at least one more babe in my future. And my MIL will disown us iffin we don't give her a girl. DH will need some convincing. Although, he and I both know that when it comes down to it, he's no match for my female wiles.

He didn't want a winter baby either, and you see where that got him.
post #13 of 38
1/26/06 at 12:06am
I'm torn. I don't think we could afford a third, since we can barely afford two. I never really saw myself having several kids, either. And right now I am near losing it some days with a newborn and a spirited toddler.

We definitely won't be having another baby anytime soon. I don't think I could handle this close a spacing again, honestly. I am very introverted, I crave quiet, and it's tough on me if I don't get a decent amount of time to myself every day. That was hard with just Amalie, and now that Moira's here too... well, you mamas know how it is So count me out of the spring 2008 club. I could see joining Courtney in 2012 though... maybe...

Longterm, I'm just not sure. I would love the chance to raise a boy at some point. I want another homebirth, though that's a dubious reason to have a baby. And the thought of permanent BC just feels very wrong right now. Also, being poor is kind of perversely liberating, since planning to pay for one kid's college is as out of reach for us as paying for five!

I'm 29 and dp is 30, so there's no rush, regardless. Will definitely be using condoms for the foreseeable future, though.
post #14 of 38
1/26/06 at 12:17am
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkpear
And right now I am near losing it some days with a newborn and a spirited toddler.
Ain't that the truth and enough to put the fear in ya? And therein lies the dilemma...
post #15 of 38
1/26/06 at 12:34am
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkpear
Also, being poor is kind of perversely liberating, since planning to pay for one kid's college is as out of reach for us as paying for five!

HAHHAAHHAAHAHAHA!!! :
post #16 of 38
1/26/06 at 12:47am
Quote:
Originally Posted by darkpear
I want another homebirth, though that's a dubious reason to have a baby. .
we swore we were done at 2, the boy wants a vasectomy, but now i'm finding myself wanting one more. and i'll admit, part of the reason is to get the homebirth i didn't with m.
post #17 of 38
1/26/06 at 1:32am
yeah someone else (even just possibly in the 2012 club)

one of the main resons to wait that long for us is that dh doesn't want to be a plumber he will in no way shape or form have another child until he isn't a plumber anymore. he took a break and became a mechanic but that won't pay the bills with a SAHM.

the other reason is i want more help fom the kids more understanding. i mean jewely helps a ton and understands a lot but i want older kids before i have another newborn. i want them in school so i csan bond with a new one like i was able to with jewely. i mean i see the diffrence between how i was with jewely and how i am with josephine, and i really liked what i had with jewely. i am not really to the oint of feeling guilty with osephine b/c i know she has diffrent advantages from jewely; like jewely herself whata great big sister!!!

anyways as far as birth goes with a third i think i can talk dh into homebirth but UC isn't happening unless maybe we have a fourth

it's all about stages
#1 midwife in hospital
#2 midwife in birthing center(he liked that so much better)

#3 midwife at home
#4 just us!!
post #18 of 38
1/26/06 at 1:36am
#5 Just you.
#6 Not even you show up for the birth!
post #19 of 38
1/26/06 at 2:14am
Thread Starter 
Claire, I love your before and after pic....to cute! And Josephine's new pic is SO beautiful. Really stunning. I need to update Samara's pic.

I'm thinking spring 2010. Then our kids will be 9, 7, and 4. I'm definately having a very hard time with the age spacing right now. Mikayla was 5 days shy of turning 2 when Jimmy was born. That wasn't too bad since Mikayla was an easy toddler. Jimmy on the other hand.....he'll be 3 next month and he's a big handful. He's great with the baby, but he is very spirited. It's also difficult focusing on Samara much because the older 2 need refereeing (sp?). Ex- Tonight we were on the way home from a wedding shower, me and the kids. Samara started crying (hates the carseat) and Mikayla started singing to her. Jimmy got mad and HE wanted to sing to the baby. So begins World War 3 in the back of the minivan. And poor screaming Samara stuck in the middle of it. And all I can do is drive and try not to lose my sanity.

I can definately see why going from 2 to 3 kids is the biggest hurdle. My biggest issue is trying to keep the peace between my older 2 with a newborn in my arms, or on my boob.
post #20 of 38
1/26/06 at 4:27am
I'll join Spring 08 club......well maybe not. If Daphne is as spirited as Jevin.......then I'm done. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

Quote:
#6 Not even you show up for the birth!
ahahaha!

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