Are you done? - Page 2

[DreamsInDigital]

Just hours after Winter's birth I was thinking about #4. I'm thinking of TTC in about a year or so.

[birthjunkie27]

About an hour after Samara's birth I told everyone in the room that I wanted to do it again.

[Jeanne_L]

nak

always thought i'd have at least 2. i grew up as one of 5 and loved it. although i have to admit during labor thinking "why would anyone do this a second time? don't think i will!" ds is 6 weeks old now... the past 6 weeks have been such a blur of sleep-deprivation and nursing - i can't imaging how you mamas with 1 or 2 other little ones do it! now the idea of laboring again doesn't seem so bad... give me another couple of months and i might be willing to think about doing the nb stage again. i just might be in the spring 08 club, too. or maybe i'll start a new club: spring 2010. anyone want to join? dh keeps joking that this is the first of 9 (although i'm 31 so there's very little chance of that!). i think 2 is more practical for us b/c we love to travel and also we don't have a whole lotta $.

[atozmama]

I feel very full with four kids now, three of them spirited at best descriptions. I am looking at starting a second child in school with special ed services, the school is talking about selective mutism with her. My first has an autistic spectrum disorder and can be a handful at times. Then the 2 year old is just that 2, and so good at all those 2 year old behaviors. Then Sam, he can be a very mellow babe at times, we'll see what his future holds.

We have planned on this being our last, DH and I are soon to be 41 and feel with 4 already we do not want to continue having kids into our 40's. However DH doesn't want a vasectomy like he talked about after Ella's birth. Now he denies ever having said anything about it Birth control has always been a problem for us, all of our kids are suprise babies, some totally unexpected some kind of not trying to have a baby but not trying not to real diligently. I think there will always be a part of me that wants to be pregnant and give birth again. Then with Sam's labor being 50 min long, I think I am a good canidate for that not showing up for the birth labor, if I ever have another one!

[birthjunkie27]

Jeanne, in one of my ealier posts I said spring 2010 too. We can start the club together.

[allnaturalmama]

I like this thread!

Here's my admission: for a combination of health and religious reasons, DH and I don't use BC. We're on an adventure, wondering just how many little blessings we'll end up with. So far, they've all been almost exactly 2 1/2 years apart (thanks to BFing), so if we continue at that pace, with about 10 or so years of fertility left, then maybe we'll end up with 7? I'm all for it! Motherhood is all I've ever dreamed of - my kids are a total joy - I love homeschooling, CDing, homemaking, etc, and can't imagine the day that we will no longer have babies in the house.

I'm weird, I know.


PS: atozmama, you're a hero! Those children are blessed to have you for their mama.

[allnaturalmama]

Oh, and Spring '08 would be about 2 1/2 years, right? I'd love to join the club!

[birthjunkie27]

Jen, I totally feel where you're coming from! I wish Dh would be on board for that kind of adventure with me...but it was hard to convince him for #3.....now I'll have to work really hard to convince him for #4.

I too can't picture the house with no babies in it.

[MistyB]

double post

dp

[MistyB]

Nov of 09 will be my date

I really want number 3 and so does DH BUT I think we will stop at 2. School tuition, college tuition etc. I know we won't be able to provide everything we want to (fiscally) if we have more than 2.

But if we get wild..I want to get pregnant again in March of 08.

I really want to finish my PhD or become an MD (derm) someday and I will not go to school with a child under 3 or 4.

[hottmama]

During labor and for about a week or two afterwards, I said "DONE! Not doing that again!" even though I've always wanted 3-4.
Now, we are talking about having one more in several years- probably 2011-2012. My partner should have his Ph.D. by then (he's still an undergrad now) and make enough money for me to stay home with 3 kids. I'll be 27-28 and he'll be 31-32. That'll be strange for me, since my oldest son was born when I was 18.
Of course, we might change our minds and stick with the 2 we've got.

[aisraeltax]

Originally Posted by jewelysmommy

yeah someone else (even just possibly in the 2012 club)the other reason is i want more help fom the kids more understanding.

i just had to laugh at this courtney! my 15 yo is NO HELP at all! on the other hand, the 7 yo is a major help w/ Ethan...but also demands alot of attention, which is generally OK, except at bedtime, which is our witching hour.

[aisraeltax]

i think this is it for me.
Ethan is dh's 2nd dc and only son and my 3d son.
i would have loved to have had a little girl, but that was just not in the cards for me.
i get to be a SAHM for a little while w/ Ethan but will have to go back to work soon (not sure how soon), since my first is only a few years from college.
since i have 3 boys spaced very far apart (almost 8 years between each of them), I have never experienced what you mamas do w/ more than one little one. and i don't think i could...E's preg. was so hard on me. He's a great baby, but the preg. was physically exhausting!
since i like the spacing, i doubt i could have another anyway, since i will be 38 in a few months.
can anyone tells this makes me sad??? i am glad to have my 3 boys, just kind of sad to appreciate that it will never happen again.
but at least i got my VBAC and w/ no meds! THAT was incredible! plus, E was a TOTAL surprise!!! i really thought i was done and since dh is older, never thought we would have any children together (talked about it, didn't try too hard to prevent it, but never actually tried to get preg. kwim?).

[birthjunkie27]

Originally Posted by aisraeltax

can anyone tells this makes me sad???

[Panthira]

Before my DH and I got married 4 years ago, we discussed children. I was torn because in my situation I didn't think I wanted anymore. I was a single mother for 10 years in extremely difficult circumstances. My 14 year old son (10 at the time) still wore diapers, and needed assistance with every basic thing - feeding, drinking, etc. He cannot even sit up on his own and his speech is very difficult to understand. He has severe cerebral palsy and is legally blind because he is a twin and was born premature, and because of the miracle of modern medicine. I had his twin to consider, my daughter, who had no problems, but was getting the short end of the stick because I had to spend so much time and energy taking care of her brother. I took care of my children by myself, with absolutely no support from the community or family, and I really got to see peoples true colors with their prejudice and hate. I made the decision to let my son go to live with my mother who would get more support services not being the parent and required to pay for everything, like wheelchairs and therapy and an aide. My mother and I don't get along at all, so sadly I don't see my son much anymore.

To make a long story that could be much longer, shorter... My DH really wanted kids, but I didn't think I could put myself through it. I had just sacrificed everything I had in me, almost losing my spirit, raising the kids I had. We talked it over and I realized a part of me did want to have children with him, but I was terribly scared the same or similar situation could happen again. He promised he would be there no matter what and that he wouldn't leave me to take care of our children, that it would be an equal endeavor.

I had the two kids he always dreamed of having, and he has followed through with his part of the deal and has been there every step of the way. He is a wonderful father and I'm very lucky in so many ways. I'm also grateful and thankful that both of our kids seem ok, and I'm not pushing my luck any further. My DH will be getting the big V soon, and I can focus on our children, get my body back into shape, and plan for our future. I just turned 36, (my DH is 29) and we're very happy to stop here.

[judybean]

Originally Posted by allnaturalmama

Here's my admission: for a combination of health and religious reasons, DH and I don't use BC. We're on an adventure, wondering just how many little blessings we'll end up with.

Same here... except not for any health reasons at all. Other than the unnaturalness of it all, I suppose

I'm 26, dh is 27. We have PLENTY of years of fertility left! I'm excited about that. We'll see what we're blessed with, but I absolutely want at least four, so one more will certainly be in our future.

And no... we're not having more simply to 'try for a boy this time' ... I hate it when people say that. I would be perfectly content with all little girls -- they're no less than boys!

I'm not sure when we'll actively ttc, but sometime next year probably... otherwise we practice a bit of FAM with a bit of "Let's see what happens"...

[Taedareth]

Originally Posted by MistyB

But if we get wild..I want to get pregnant again in March of 08.

Misty - you won't TTC, but you've already got the exact month planned out for when to have an "accident"? HEHE that's so cute. Have fun with that!

[wawoof]

We're probably done. The one thing that makes me think I could want another child is that I'm scared of something happening to one of the children we have and the other one being left as an only child. I was pretty much an only child growing up (because my brothers are so much younger) and did not like it because it was lonely. HOWEVER... DH definitely wants to be done after 2, and so does the practical part of me. DH and I work FT (when I'm not on leave and once he finds a new job here), and love our jobs, so we have to pay for daycare, which is insanely expensive. Pregnancy while working FT and having an older child was really hard. Also, I'm not sure if I could have another child and do what I need to do to get tenure. I love my job so I would be very sad if I could no longer do it 6 years from now... Housing where we live is insanely expensive, and a third child would mean needing a larger house (since our 2 boys can share rooms). For environmental reasons, I'd feel guilty having more than 2 (I'm not saying everyone should, but I would). I was much older than my brothers and resented having to care for siblings who were too young to relate to (though I love my brothers and can finally relate to them now that I'm 31 and they're 22 and 18!), and I don't want Ethan to feel the same way. We do lots of traveling (even just to see family, who are literally thousands of miles away) and outdoor adventures, which would be much more expensive and difficult with more than 2 kids.

So, barring an accident before DH gets a vasectomy, we're done. Funny how bittersweet it is to say that... and that I'm enjoying Galen's babyhood more than I did Ethan's because he's probably our last baby...