My sister is having an elective c/s in a few weeks. The c-section is actually necessary in her case (uterine anomaly), but I am DREADING visiting her in the hospital, for a number of reasons. I was there at the same hospital when she had her first (also by c/s, this time emergency) a couple of years ago, but I knew absolutely nothing about birth at the time. Here's the run down of what I can expect:
1) The hospital does not encourage rooming-in, and my sister doesn't want to anyway; she likes to "get her rest". I hate seeing those baby nurseries--with 15 or 20 babies in bright light, being bathed, pricked, and tested by a couple of nurses.
2) Baby will have all the standard interventions after birth, including a hospital circ.
3) With her first baby, she was given lousy bfing advice--baby was given lots of supplements in the nursery, used a paci early on, etc.--and then complained a lot about "difficulty" bfing; she bf for three months, much of it by pumping due to latch problems, then weaned b/c her ped said there were "no real benefits to bfing after 3 months".
I try very hard not to be judgmental of my sister in person--her parenting is VERY different than what mine will be, but I don't openly criticize her choices. A little background: she is 7 years older than me, and, despite the fact that I thoroughly research all of my choices (and she really doesn't), she thinks of me, consciously or not, as "the baby" of the family and is very bossy/opinionated about MY decisions. In some ways, this is just her personality--she's bossy and opinionated in general (but a lovely person otherwise!
)
I want to be there for her, but given that I'm planning on having a babe in a few months, I'm really anxious about even setting foot in this hospital environment again and watching things that I personally find really worrisome for the babies.
So...what should I do? The c/s is on a Thursday, so I don't know when she'll be out of the hospital. If I delay a visit too long, I'll only have a day or so to meet my new nephew. OTOH, I really don't know if I want all this ickiness in my head as I prepare for my own baby. Thinking about it is already weighing on my mind--not sure if the actual event will magnify or provide closure for my concerns.
Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks!
1) The hospital does not encourage rooming-in, and my sister doesn't want to anyway; she likes to "get her rest". I hate seeing those baby nurseries--with 15 or 20 babies in bright light, being bathed, pricked, and tested by a couple of nurses.
2) Baby will have all the standard interventions after birth, including a hospital circ.
3) With her first baby, she was given lousy bfing advice--baby was given lots of supplements in the nursery, used a paci early on, etc.--and then complained a lot about "difficulty" bfing; she bf for three months, much of it by pumping due to latch problems, then weaned b/c her ped said there were "no real benefits to bfing after 3 months".
I try very hard not to be judgmental of my sister in person--her parenting is VERY different than what mine will be, but I don't openly criticize her choices. A little background: she is 7 years older than me, and, despite the fact that I thoroughly research all of my choices (and she really doesn't), she thinks of me, consciously or not, as "the baby" of the family and is very bossy/opinionated about MY decisions. In some ways, this is just her personality--she's bossy and opinionated in general (but a lovely person otherwise!
)I want to be there for her, but given that I'm planning on having a babe in a few months, I'm really anxious about even setting foot in this hospital environment again and watching things that I personally find really worrisome for the babies.
So...what should I do? The c/s is on a Thursday, so I don't know when she'll be out of the hospital. If I delay a visit too long, I'll only have a day or so to meet my new nephew. OTOH, I really don't know if I want all this ickiness in my head as I prepare for my own baby. Thinking about it is already weighing on my mind--not sure if the actual event will magnify or provide closure for my concerns.
Any advice is much appreciated. Thanks!
). If she is though, could you talk her into a religious circ instead. They seem much better for all involved.
I feel SO strongly about circumcision that I would have a hard time even having a conversation w/ a sister of mine who was doing that (I have 2 sisters). But I supposed I'd get over it, as i have w/ other things they've done that I disagree so much with. That would be really hard though.
I know it's hard... I had to choke back a few comments when my nephew's girlfriend had her baby, a doctor who hadn't caught a baby in 30 years almost delivered her baby and had the episiotomy scissors ready 
, the baby was full formula by the time they left the "birthing center" (actually a dressed up hospital) etc. 
. I totally understand where you're coming from. My little sissy and I are on 2 totally different planets when it comes to PG, birth, child rearing, etc. When she went into labor with my niece I was just there by her side and held her hand and such. Sometimes it's very difficult for me to hold my tongue on certain things but I try and do it anyway, even though she does not always extend me the same courtesy! 
:
