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I knew this was going to happen, but... - Page 2

post #21 of 72
OK, I had to stop reading. Mrs Dimples you are making me laugh so hard!!

I'm planning an unmedicated, non-induced, natural childbirth. It's amazing how even my MIL can look at me and tell me that I should get an epidural. All I think is "fine then, wait in the lobby, my mom will be there to support me." Then my husband's own family asks me if I think he'll be able to handle it. I find that so insulting. I've basically just kept my plans to myself with the exception of my husband and mom. They're my support team so anyone else's opinion is just obnoxious at this point. Unless,of course, they agree with me, then I'll listen.
post #22 of 72
Originally Posted by Cedarmom
Oh, and Lori, I don't remember where I read it, but someone had their doctor schedule their induction after intense pressure to do so, and then just didn't show up. They can't induce you if you aren't there. I thought it was brillant.
Well....I have skipped my NSTs on Fri and today. DH said he thought it was ok. This is his daughter too, so I respect his opinions. If the dr says anything about it tomorrow at my appt, I'm just going to tell him that HE told me to stay home on bedrest.

One of the reasons I'm not committed to a home birth is that I can't get DH committed to it. The other reason....I don't want to have to clean up the mess after I give birth. Can't you just see me walking around scrubbing the house afterwards! DH doesn't clean.
post #23 of 72
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by ellie_may12
One of the reasons I'm not committed to a home birth is that I can't get DH committed to it. The other reason....I don't want to have to clean up the mess after I give birth. Can't you just see me walking around scrubbing the house afterwards! DH doesn't clean.
Aw, HELL no! The midwives clean it up! I actually get this question quite a bit. I have no intention of cleaning up my own house afterwards! Of course, I am taking what precautions I can to prevent a mess, but if there is any mess made I will be too busy snuggling with my baby to notice.
post #24 of 72
Oh I understand your frustration!

With my first, I posted on a mainstream board. I was due Feb 21st and was the only one still pregnant in March, even though lots of people were due after me. I went a whole extra week after that before my son was born. Some people appreciated my homebirth story but I think most were just glad that their babies were born sooner. I was astonished how many February babies came in January. The induction/csec rate was so disturbing. I posted on another board and had to stop because the other women were freaking out that I was 2 weeks late. I think that if they'd known where I lived, they would have called the cops or something--they really thought I was harming the baby not being induced. Argh. I was the only person who thought it was totally fine and normal to be 41 weeks pregnant (after that, I started getting grouchy).

This time, I'm sticking to this board and the mainstream Born in March 2004 board full of women who at least know me and respect my choice to homebirth and let things happen in their own time. I have a feeling this baby won't wait so long, but if he/she does, I'll be prepared for it. I'm more freaked out at the possibility of going into labor at 38 weeks (that's only 3 weeks away!) than 41.
post #25 of 72
I agree, I am on my 5th pregnancy and while I understand wanting it to be over with I also know babies come when THEY are READY!!! I know it is tempting to go to your DR and complain about our ailments and hope he decides to LET us go early, but if that baby was ready, he would be coming anyhow. Nothing like plucking a green apple and calling it red. It does bother me when I hear people talking about hoping there baby doesnt go over 6-6.5, my last 3 were 6 pounds and I felt terrible! Like I had done something wrong! I am hoping and praying that this one is bigger, but it isnt looking that way, I know I might be one of those people who just do not have bigger babies, but that makes me wonder too, all my mothers babies were over 10 pounds including me, and all my sisters children where close to 8. My biggest baby was 7-12 and he was my first 12 years ago. I think alot of Drs also put the idea into mommys minds about being induced and alot of people still think that if the dr says it then it must be right. My dr told me 3 weeks ago that my us showed this little one only weighed 2 pounds, then Wednesday when I started asking how he figured that he asked me who had told me that, and when I let him know it was him, he looked at me like I was crazy because the us showed almost 5 pounds.... I understand the need to see "someone" while pregnant, but should be as a sidekick, not an all powerful figure who is not allowed to be questioned. When it boils down, it is my child, my body and my decissions, wether the dr wants you to know that or not... Ok, I am rambling, sorry must be hormones,lol
post #26 of 72
Originally Posted by ellie_may12
That is just how I am starting to feel about my pregnancy!

Part of me wants to just give up the medical treatments and give birth at home.

I hear you there, but my husband caught on to what I was thinking about lol. Our last son was born with "symtoms" of down syndrome and had to be rescusitated(sp) when delivered and is scared so, he shot the idea of me waiting to long to get to hospital apart. He told me if I start pushing he starts driving lol.
post #27 of 72
Just a little update on the twin mom on the "other" board we have been talking about. She's going in Friday morning (36 weeks)to have her water broken - she's 2cm and 80% effaced as it is - wonder why they don't just wait??!! I hope there isn't a cord prolapse as a result of the AROM!
post #28 of 72
I had an appointment with my regular OB. I currently see a Perinatologist also. At both places, every time I go they say "well, we may want to induce you." Every time I tell them, "I don't want to be induced".

Now, if they really felt something was wrong with my baby or my uterus or my placenta, that would be one thing. But, they don't. They problems I had to start going to the Perinatologist for aren't even problems anymore, we're just monitoring by US to be sure. (There are two bright spots in her abdomen that haven't changed in over 12 weeks AND she's developing totally normal otherwise.)

They want to check out my daughter at birth to ensure her bowels are fine so I'm sticking with the Perinatology group, but really, this constant flow of induction talk is odd. Besides telling them no, what can you do to make them listen?
post #29 of 72
Chiming in here = my friend who is much more mainstream but still wanted to try natural birth, got her prenatal care with a group of midwives that work through our local hospital. Her due date was January 31st. She had a scheduled appointment with midwife yesterday and they stripped her membranes. Baby 12 hours "overdue"??? She did go into labor, went to the hospital this morning at 2, ended up with an epidural and has had a c-section by now. My gut feeling is, the baby wasn't ready, and the stripping induced her basically and yeah, she stalled at 8 cm, pitocin and all interventions came cranking in, "baby isn't descending" and "baby is too big" etc. all the usual excuses. It makes me sick.

I know the desired outcome is a healthy baby but why the need to strip membranes on "due date" which is only a day on the calendar, honestly - she had been having very mild and infrequent BH but no other signs of impending labor.

I ain't having no membranes stripped. 35 weeks and holding. Trying not to judge, or despair.
post #30 of 72
Originally Posted by corhorvath
Besides telling them no, what can you do to make them listen?
You can cite EMTALA law. And for more good information, check out Birth Policy.org.

Good luck! Scares the out of me, the scare tactics and outright misinformation that gets used in hospitals. My last doula client was told by the anesthesiologist that epidurals have no effect whatsoever on the baby, and that Pitocin "doesn't really make your contractions harder/more intense, just brings them on faster".

Good luck to ALL us mamas on our births!
post #31 of 72
Ah..... I needed this thread today. I too am on a mainstream Due in March board and it gets sooo otough to deal with. I often wonder why I go there and then I still do anyway. *sigh* I think it may be the same one as we have a twin mom who is being induced at 2cm 80%. lol they are all hoping to go early and be indiced...or are just very satisfied with the crap about "big babies" that their OBs are telling them. It just gets me so worked up.... I can not believe that the elective c-sec rate in this country is skyrocketing, and then I look at the sheep, I mean moms, on this other board and they all swallow the crap fed to them without question or research of their own....

A very close friend of mine was just induced because she was 1 day over her due date and the u/s said the baby was over 7lbs and so was considered "big". WTF? The u/s also showed that it was a boy and not a girl...so when she told me my response was "well they got the gender wrong, what makes you so sure they are right about the size? :L She got induced anyway. *sigh*
post #32 of 72
I don't visit any other boards, and I'm glad I don't. I come here for information, help, and to offer support and help to others. That's not something I've really found elsewhere.

Anyway...kudos to those of you that are trying to educate the masses. But I have to ask, what is this trend of inducing or scheduling c-sections for preterm twins??? Obviously, I haven't had a medicalized management of this twin pregnancy (thank goodness!) as I was planning a homebirth & just recently discovered they're twins. So I assume I've managed to escape a lot of "routine" high risk tests/interventions that might "usually" go along with a twin pg. But why would you want two little babies to be delivered before their due date if they aren't ready and aren't in danger???? I mean, what is the logic? There must be some "reason" for this, no?? Is it purely for mom's comfort, or is there some supposed benefit to the babies. I'm babbling now, but I'm just so confused! My goal is to keep them in as long as possible.....so what are these doctors/women thinking?
post #33 of 72
Well - from what I've read on these boards, 36 weeks is considered full term for twins. They've been told that the babies mature faster and are ready to be born sooner. I don't buy it myself. I mean, if labor starts on it's own, then so be it, but why make them come earlier. I don't see the danger in letting them gestate for as long as possible as long as they are growing fine and are healthy. I don't understand the medpros urge to mess with nature when things are okay. My twin step-daughters were born at 40 weeks - both just about 5 pounds. Their birth mother is only 4' 8" and was only 17 at the time too.
post #34 of 72
That twin thing is driving me nuts...At 36 weeks pregnant with twins, I was 2 cm dilated and almost completely effaced, and my OB didn't even mention induction. My boys went to 40wk1day, and they came out healthy, chubby, and wonderful like any singleton baby would have....I was 8lb, J was 7lb, and they showed no signs of being "overdue." Why a doctor would HARVEST babies, just because they're twins, at an early date JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN is beyond reason. : So what if twins CAN make it at 36 weeks... 40ish weeks is the normal gestation for ANY child and they deserve to be left alone until then!!! Going by the "average" time twins are born for determining induction is crazy...would a mom that had had several premature births be pressured into induction just because her average was less than 40 weeks?

And besides, I know there are legit reasons for induction, but why do it unless it's medically necessary? There's something so wonderfully charming about a baby picking his or her own birthday....
post #35 of 72
Ok, so I'm not nuts. Thanks, ladies. I'm going to have to research that "twins mature faster" so are full term at 36 weeks thing. I don't buy, don't buy it, don't buy it!!!
post #36 of 72
Thread Starter 
Well, you know, I don't doubt that some twins are born at 36 weeks and are more mature than an average singleton would have been at 36 weeks...I think our bodies can compensate wonderfully well for less-than-ideal circumstances...

...but TAKING twins at 36 weeks arbitrarily is insane. And stupid. Sorry.

I hope they're ok, I hope I'm all worried over nothing, really I do. If she's so frickin' ready to go into labor, then she'd bloody well be in labor, YK? : They were both head down, all nice and ladylike. I hope the induction didn't freak them out and change positions...

...I wish she would just update us already because I really am worried about those babies.
post #37 of 72
I know. I'm worried about them as well. I've been checking more often than normal just to see if she's updated.
post #38 of 72
I know what you mean ladies...I wish we knew something.

On the topic of mainstream boards, the pacifier debate got my hackles up.
post #39 of 72
Originally Posted by ellie_may12
On the topic of mainstream boards, the pacifier debate got my hackles up.
Debate! On the mainstream board I was on there was no debate...everyone seemed to have the same opinion. In real life too. You must have pacifiers, you must have a crib, you must have a "theme" - silliest of all - don't they get it that this is invented by stores so that you'll buy (or get others to buy for you) sheets, bumper, mattress pads, curtains, etc all from the same place? I'm sorry if any of you have a "theme" - just personally its not for me, and I am soooo relieved, because on the mainstream boards, I felt like such a horrible pregnant lady not wanting to do all that stuff!! I thought there was something psychologically wrong with me like I didn't want my baby or something!

It was the breastfeeding comments that put me pver the edge....almost 100% of them said it was horrible, disgusting, and painful and they were so happy when their infant slept through the night. That being said, I have to respect that other people have their own way of doing things, so I guess you just have to accept that people raise their kids differently.
post #40 of 72
Lol don't you love that! Everyone I know assumes I'm not buying all the "essentials" for my baby just because money can get a little tight sometimes. I see myself as the only thing my baby absolutely needs, though a sling and an extension on our small bed will really be helpful too. I don't understand why moms need all sorts of various contraptions to put their babies down in and feed them. It's like we as a society are trying to get away from the natural way of infants depending on their mothers' bodies for food, transportation, warmth, comfort, and so on. And it just follows that we try to get the babies out as soon as possible to speed that detachment and self reliance.
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