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I knew this was going to happen, but... - Page 3

post #41 of 72
Well...it isn't much of a debate, but when the woman...a teacher...said that she doesn't feed on demand and that the baby would be on a schedule and if it needed to "comfort suck" then it would "need" a paci. She went on to say that she would "try" to wait until BFing was well established.

I was raised w/o a paci or thumb sucking. I get really annoyed when I see 3 year olds and up still sucking on a paci or their thumb and when they throw a fit because they can't find their paci! OY!

I started out with a theme....it went out the window when Mom found a piece of fabric that she wanted to make a quilt out of. I figured that something made by grandma would be much nicer than something store bought! She has also made the baby an afgan and is embroidering a couple of onsies. I found a fabric that will match the quilt and am making curtains, sewed a couple of slings, a wrap, a mei tei, and a dedication dress. Most of the mommys on the mainstream board wouldn't dare have anything homemade. I did convince one to try a sling and sewed one up for her.

I have been given lots of hand-me-downs from my friends' babies. She won't need clothes until she hits a size 9 month...and they will probably give me more hand-me-downs by then. Our crib was bought at a garage sale; someone gave me an old changing table; someone else gave me her baby's exersaucer. She will be sleeping in the same cradle I slept in 35 years ago.

The only NEW, storebought, never-been-used things this baby is getting are diapers, a car seat, anything people give as gifts and my breasts! Ok...DH has slightly used those.

I think it was Mrs. Dimples, who said on the other board that a baby's NEEDS are pretty simple. I started out this pregnancy thinking that I needed tons of things for this baby, but have come to realize that the love that I give her will be more important than anything I buy her.
post #42 of 72
[QUOTE=JamieCatheryn]I don't understand why moms need all sorts of various contraptions to put their babies down in and feed them. [QUOTE]



....all lovely, natural, baby-wonderful thoughts for a first baby, but I can assure you--with two toddlers running around the house already, my mind can't help but dream of the various contraptions where I *might* be able to put the baby down. I started out thinking I'd be a no-nonsense, bare-essentials mom, and it worked great at first, but this time I'm going wild with convenience. bouncy seat, exersaucer, pack-n-play, sheepskin--any place where baby can be set down safely while I chase after my two accident-prone sons is a BONUS!

That being said, I know what you mean at heart...babies are meant to be held, loved, and kept close. Despite having all the various contraptions, my intent would never be to have baby take up residence in a contraption rather than in my arms.
post #43 of 72

edited


Edited by Cedarmom - 9/5/13 at 11:36am
post #44 of 72
[QUOTE=RedOakMomma]my mind can't help but dream of the various contraptions where I *might* be able to put the baby down. [QUOTE]

Yeah...well I did get a used bouncer seat from a friend, I figure that should be helpful at times he actually does need setting down
post #45 of 72
Thread Starter 
LOL, I am more afraid to put this new baby DOWN! She'll be lucky if she ever gets out of the sling. : I think if she's on the ground, my son (who is a very gentle and loving 2-year-old, but still a 2-year-old) will have too much access and the potential for maiming or dismemberment will be too great...
post #46 of 72
i stay far away from mainstream boards. i wasn't lucky enough to have found MDC while pregnant with abby. i totally didn't fit in on the board i was on and never really hung out there anyway. once they were born, i really didn't fit in. then i found MDC. yeah!

i used some gadgets with DD. she loved the swing, sometimes i couldn't comfort her, but her swing could. i used the bouncy seat while i showered. i used the sling most of the time and she was a total sling baby.

i think that my many slings will be very useful with a wants to be sooo helpful 3 1/2 year old. we still have the swing and will have a bouncer. not to use all the time, but sometimes they have their place.

as for pacifiers, every babe is different. some babes have a real need to suck all the time. if they can't find their thumb, then i think a pacifier is okay. i don't like when they are misused.

i used to feel weird about seeing older toddlers with pacifiers or thumbs, but not after having a toddler nurse till she was over 3. i think that some kids find comfort in it. i see them and wonder if nursing for longer or even nursing at all would have helped. my DDs friend is 4, was bottle fed and not APd at all and she still sucks her thumb. i can't even go over there, the baby is never in arms and the first time i saw him, he was 2 months and had the bottle propped already. yikes.

this thread was funny and reminded me why i stay far away from most mainstream places. i either get too frustrated or i am the odd one.
post #47 of 72
Yep, gotta get 'em out of your body, sleeping through the night, self-comforting and eating from some source OTHER than you and all of that ASAP (hear the sarcasm?). Then it's on to giving 'em over to strangers to raise (ala daycare) and sticking 'em in preschool at age 3 so that someone else can "educate" them. Our society is geared toward letting others raise our kids so that we can pursue our own happiness, so is it any surprise that the vast majority of women *don't* embrace motherhood?

As for the many "contraptions", we have none of them, but not because I wouldn't like to have a few (like a swing or a bouncy chair) ~ we can't have "contraptions" because my autistic 4 year old would hurt the baby if given the opportunity. Not because he's mean, but because it wouldn't occur to him that pushing the bouncy chair off the table or knocking it over when it's on the floor could hurt the baby, and he would be tooooo tempted to push it over or knock it off the table (btdt with his younger brother ~ luckily, we caught the bouncy chair before it hit the ground, but the lesson was learned). A swing would just be an invitation to push back and forth, and with a baby sitting in the swing, that would be too dangerous.

So......I'll be using a sling a lot, as well as the arms of my teenagers (who are homeschooled and therefore around to help out, as needed), to protect the baby from his younger siblings (the 4 year old and 2 year old, specifically).

I don't think "contraptions" are bad, in and of themselves, but I think it's sad when they are overused or used as "substitutes" when a baby obviously needs its mama.
post #48 of 72
Hang in there mamas! I spent my time during TTC and PG #1 at a mainstream bulletin board and there were only *two* homebirthing/AP moms on my birth board. They did make a difference- I admit that at first I thought they were a little far out there me, but lo and behold I found myself parenting in much the same way. So here I am six years later, occasionally popping in on said mainstream board hoping to plant little seeds, but enjoying the wonderful support I get here and at another fave forum.
post #49 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by momto3g3b
Yep, gotta get 'em out of your body, sleeping through the night, self-comforting and eating from some source OTHER than you and all of that ASAP (hear the sarcasm?). Then it's on to giving 'em over to strangers to raise (ala daycare) and sticking 'em in preschool at age 3 so that someone else can "educate" them. Our society is geared toward letting others raise our kids so that we can pursue our own happiness, so is it any surprise that the vast majority of women *don't* embrace motherhood?
I think it was 2 issues of Mothering ago - one of the articles said, "Remember, you are raising a child, not managing an inconvenience" - and that's how I think a lot of people approach it - how can I make having this child as convenient for me as possible?

As for "gadgets"...as long as they aren't crutches for you not to interact with your child, why not? But I plan to be conservative and borrow or buy used until I see what the baby likes, rather than stocking up on too much stuff right away.
post #50 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by momto3g3b
Then it's on to giving 'em over to strangers to raise (ala daycare) and sticking 'em in preschool at age 3 so that someone else can "educate" them.
Just posting to say that that phrasing is very insulting to WOHMs. My child is not being raised by strangers.
post #51 of 72
My DH and exwife raised his kids much like momto3g3b described. He started out this pregnancy expecting a very similar approach to childrearing with me. Poor guy!!! He's learning.

His youngest son was sent home with him at 2 days old while his wife stayed in the hospital to have gall bladder surgery. DH couldn't stay home with the baby, so at 3 days old the baby was being cared for by a home-based childcare facility while his mom was in the hospital and dad worked.

DH has commented on trying to get the baby to be independent ASAP, but I just tell him that she has 18 years to do that. Strangely enough, I don't consider his 2 teenagers independent enough! Anyway, that is another rant for another time....

I think that the contraptions have a time and place, but I just don't see the point of spending HUGE amounts of money on all new stuff when I can recycle other people's old stuff! Call me cheap! But as long as the items are in good working condition and safe to use, I might as well beg, steal and borrow other people's baby items. IF I could find someone who CD's, I would be more than happy to use their old CDs that their baby outgrew. A little bleach can cure just about anything!

I will use an exersaucer, bouncy seat, etc... mainly to keep the baby off the floor and away from the dog and cat. I am not sure how George, my 3-legged dog who thinks he is a baby, will react to the baby at this point. When I made my sling, I used him to test it out. Now he thinks the sling is his! He howled when I put my friend's baby in it. I just think they shouldn't be used as babysitters.

OH can I just say....people who use TV to babysit their kids make me crazy too? I can understand how easy it would be to put your child in front of a TV and let them sit there while you are busy doing something else, but to allow them to watch the HOURS of TV that some parents do? No way!!! And with these portable DVD players, parents are now letting kids watch TV in the car, in resturants, at church. It makes me crazy!!! What is wrong with a kid learning how to look out the window and enjoy nature while driving, or how to wait patiently in a resturant, or how to act at church?

While I'm on my rant....DH's son took his laptop to church today and sat there and played a computer game the WHOLE service!!! He is 16!! To me, this is totally unacceptable. DH got on to him after the service, but I don't know if he got the message. I may make the pastor change the WEP code, so if he brings his laptop back to church at least he won't be able to get online.
post #52 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahwuko
You must have pacifiers, you must have a crib, you must have a "theme" - silliest of all - don't they get it that this is invented by stores so that you'll buy (or get others to buy for you) sheets, bumper, mattress pads, curtains, etc all from the same place?
I gotta tell you, Ahwuko, I went to BabiesRUs for the first time on Saturday night (we returned some baby shower gifts to get a changing table pad), and I experienced a real sense of disgust at the crass commercialism at that place!! And the prices -- for such CRAP furniture and items? -- it was appalling. Tom was beside himself with distaste. We got our changing pad and got out of there.

I am also on another email list for March moms. Mostly there is a lot of listening and willingness to choose something different from the other folks there. I was concerned at first (and an occasional comment raises my hackles), but respect and appreciation does prevail. It's pleasant.
post #53 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mariposa
i used to feel weird about seeing older toddlers with pacifiers or thumbs, but not after having a toddler nurse till she was over 3. i think that some kids find comfort in it. i see them and wonder if nursing for longer or even nursing at all would have helped. my DDs friend is 4, was bottle fed and not APd at all and she still sucks her thumb.
I hate to say it, but I sucked my thumb until I was 7!!! (BF until 6mo, my mom always regretted not doing it for longer) And I ended up with PERFECT teeth, including wisdom teeth.
post #54 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by nubianamy
Tom was beside himself with distaste. We got our changing pad and got out of there.
I know, I'm really thankful my husband shares the same views I have on not buying into commercialism. It makes it a lot easier.
post #55 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday
Just posting to say that that phrasing is very insulting to WOHMs. My child is not being raised by strangers.
Um, yeah. Let's be respectful of others' carefully-considered choices, please.
post #56 of 72
Thread Starter 
Yeah, and now we're starting to get some DIM-ers who are having ultrasounds to "check on the baby's size" and of course, they're being scheduled for inductions at 38 weeks because their babies are "big". What the hell does that mean? Weight isn't the only determining factor in whether a baby is ready to be born, folks! And even if the baby is "big" by current standards (which of course are scarily skewed because no one goes to term, and no one seems to go into labor on their own, or just HAVE A BABY naturally for heaven's sake!) why wouldn't they just let her try on her own? There are lots of ways to help a mama have a large baby with no problems, and these docs either don't know them or don't care to use them. I'm SO tired and crabby today, I way overdid it on the housecleaning this morning and now everyone will pay! :

Maybe I should go check out BabyCenter too, just to get myself really riled up!
post #57 of 72
I was 9lbs and came out arm first. Mom did just fine! Although, she still complains about me staying in there for an extra month.

They don't want to have a big baby because they may happen to have pain during childbirth! Besides if your baby is over 7lbs it is considered some kind of freak of nature! Besides most "mainstream" women are going to attempt to lay down the entire labor and delivery on their back, which we know is NOT a natural position to have a baby. DH comments on this everytime I watch one of those birth shows. "How do they expect to get that baby out laying like that? Don't they know that if they will squat or get in a more upright position they will open up their pelvis?" It is really quite funny to hear him say this.

I posted that BTDT???? post about inductions/c-sections, etc.... to find out more about what lengths these women went through to have their babies. I was amazed by how many had membranes stripped, inductions, c-sections....I don't think anyone has babies normally anymore!
post #58 of 72
On another board I post on ( I visit TWO mainstream boards) today's topic seems to be inductions - I am trying like crazy to discourage and to educate, but I'm sure it'll all fall on deaf ears - they all probably think I'm a crazy know it all/homebirth freak. I at least hope they take the FDA warning about Misoprostol/Cytotec link seriously! We'll see.
post #59 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by ellie_may12
OH can I just say....people who use TV to babysit their kids make me crazy too? I can understand how easy it would be to put your child in front of a TV and let them sit there while you are busy doing something else, but to allow them to watch the HOURS of TV that some parents do? No way!!! And with these portable DVD players, parents are now letting kids watch TV in the car, in resturants, at church. It makes me crazy!!! What is wrong with a kid learning how to look out the window and enjoy nature while driving, or how to wait patiently in a resturant, or how to act at church?
Oh man, am I so glad I found this forum today! Thank you! I have hardly found anyone who agrees with me on this issue!!!! Yay! People think that I'm crazy when I say that I don't like the idea of a dvd player in the car. And so many others are like, "Just wait; you'll see." Unh-huh. Whatever. I don't ever say that to people in regards to other issues. I'm sure I would have loved to have a t.v. in the car as a kid, but that's because I was t.v. obsessed, even had my own t.v. in my room. Dh and I don't even own a t.v. now. I may be a little internet obsessed, but I still think it's a very different thing.
Anyway, I have belonged to a mainstream board for this whole pregnancy. It's not a bad one because it has a good natural birth section, and the circumcision threads are very entertaining in the main forum. The March moms forum... well, it could be better but it's okay, too.
I'm just so happy to have come across the mothering.com discussion boards. It is so much better here.
post #60 of 72
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeslieB
Oh man, am I so glad I found this forum today! Thank you! I have hardly found anyone who agrees with me on this issue!!!! Yay! People think that I'm crazy when I say that I don't like the idea of a dvd player in the car. And so many others are like, "Just wait; you'll see." Unh-huh. Whatever. I don't ever say that to people in regards to other issues. I'm sure I would have loved to have a t.v. in the car as a kid, but that's because I was t.v. obsessed, even had my own t.v. in my room. Dh and I don't even own a t.v. now. I may be a little internet obsessed, but I still think it's a very different thing.
Anyway, I have belonged to a mainstream board for this whole pregnancy. It's not a bad one because it has a good natural birth section, and the circumcision threads are very entertaining in the main forum. The March moms forum... well, it could be better but it's okay, too.
I'm just so happy to have come across the mothering.com discussion boards. It is so much better here.

Glad you like it here! As for the DVD issue...I had a 5 year old the other day who was glued to his portable DVD - parents bring the kid to a doctor, and then let him play with the DVD the whole time he's being seen? I'm there trying to talk to him, he's sitting in the chair ignoring me completely and playing with the thing while I basically chat with myself, examine his ears, etc. The parents couldn't have cared less. I was horrified. No eye contact with me, no hello, no acknowledgment at all that he was in a social situation. SCARY!
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