welcome to my world!Dear Fraya, I deal with this issue EVERYDAY with my almost 3 year old daughter, ever since she has been on solids! Ughh. So this is my VAST experience past onto you. My hubby and I joke that when our evening conversation is exclusively about POOP, we really need to get out!
Mineral Oil is what has saved us. I know it sounds gross and mean but we have found it to be the gentlest solution of intervention. I refused to use it for over a year but than I s/w enough moms and dr's. to finally give it a try. You have to give it in 1 Tble increments and give it in a juice/water/milk. It won't mix, but they'll drink it vs. refuse to drink it straight (can't blame them!)
It really does work. And gently as well. All it does is soften the stool; it doesn't "force them to go". The CATCH: you have to do it daily and as long as it takes in order for them to have a good experience with the movement. In our case that was daily for 5.5 months at 3 Tbl (you increase or decrease the dosage by Tbl do get the desired effect). We are now off the daily dosage and only have to use it occasionally if she holds it more than 3-4 days.
Fraya, one of the most rewarding times was after about the first week, my daughter looked at me after a BM and said "mommy, that didn't hurt". She was so surprised! Poor girl, she had had this going on for so long that she always assumed it would hurt!
Sounds like you have the food situation down. If I can add Edemame beens (soy bean pods) to your list, it might help. Also (again know it sounds weird) syrups can be helpful. I put Karo syrup in her oatmeal (my double whammy breakfast for her!) as well as sprinkle wheat germ on almost anything!
I really hopes this helps. I have many more successes/failures in this area should you need so more info! Good luck!