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teenage boys & bf'ing - Page 3

post #41 of 48
I haven't had a chance to read the entire thread here, so forgive me if I repeat anything someone else posted.

I've actually worked with teenage boys, and I know how to relate very well with them. Much better than teen girls for some reason. The best thing you can do, IMHO, is to be very frank and blunt with them.

When your son's friends are over and you need to nurse, I would suggest you state out loud and clearly, "I have to nurse the baby now." Give the ones who are uncomfortable time to leave the room, and then nurse the baby. If any of them, including your son, gives you any guff about it, you tell him the baby has to eat, that's what boobs were made for (the media made boobs a sexual thing and is he brainwashed? lol), and it's natural. If it bothers your son, you are sorry he feels that way, but there's nothing you can do about it, he'll have to come to terms with it.

My 14 yr old dd has friends over and I never say a word when I nurse the baby, but I figure they are girls, so I shouldn't have to say anything.
post #42 of 48
Thread Starter 
it has been less of an issue than it was before, but i think thats because he's had a few months to adjust. if he has friends over, they usually dont hang out in the room i am in (nature of teen boys) and if they come upstairs to his room (ours is across teh hall from it), he will shut my door on his way to my room...
when he's alone and the baby's nursing, he has been much better at kissig the babe's head even while im nursing, so i know it doesnt bother him as much now.
i think it was really important for me to stand my ground on how natural it is with him and how i am not going to delay feeding his brother b/c he has friends over. he has found ways "around" it so to speak, so thank goodness that is not an issue i have right now. too many others, but thank G-d not that one! lol!
post #43 of 48
I think the whole idea of nip has became increasingly common within the past few years, as I never noticed it while in my younger days.

I worked in a restaurant, and was more *in tune* with the guys than any of the girls. Well, a few times the guys would comment about a girl and such. The one thing that did in fact shock me though was a woman who had just had a baby, and was going to nurse. I am a woman, but I think in public it should be polite to cover up so that your body is not just out there for everyone else to see I guess. Well, she just lifted up her shirt and let her boobs out right in front of the guys. Lets just say that the guys weren't very productive for quite a few minutes, but then they finally left it for what it was, she was feeding the baby.

I don't think it would have been a big deal if she would have had a cover, or at least turned around so that not everyone in the restaurant could see, but it happened...

As for the whole boy issue. I say, similar to another person said, that boys don't really see the age behind the boob. The guys at work were constantly talking about one of their moms who had just had a boob job. She had five children and none of them seemed to care. But man, look at her boobs...

I think as long as you are covered, it doesn't matter where or when, but if not covered ask for some privacy, or maybe ask for a blanket...

Mary
post #44 of 48
Thread Starter 
i try to nurse discreetly when NIP but i am one of those that consider a cover offensive. i have one in my closet that they make for that purpose and have plenty of blankets, but i don't use them...i try to get E to latch on discretly but heh, if he misses or pulls off, thats life. until we start seeing bf'ing as normal, i don't think we are going to get anywhere with it.
post #45 of 48
My eldest son is 17, the younger ones are 6 (weaned a year ago) and 4 (nursing). I have always treated breastfeeding as completely normal, no coverups etc. My son's friends are here a lot, and I have never felt embarrassed, nor has he. If they have we haven't been told. I would say most if not all of his friends were breastfed/have younger siblings who are or recently were breastfed -- many of their mother's are/were LLL leaders.

On my refrigerator is one of my favorite photos: in it I am very obviously (within an hour of giving birth) tandem nursing my newborn and my 2yo. I recently asked my son if he thought the photo shouldn't be there, given his friends and he seemed taken aback and said, no -- he doubted they'd ever noticed.

One of the single most influencing factors regarding me 'always' knowing I would breastfeed my babies was all of the women I knew growing up who breastfed, comfortably, in public, in our home or theirs and so on: friends of my mother's, or mothers of kids I babysat for, or the women in my mother's LLL groups.
post #46 of 48
I don't have teenage boys in my house yet - DS is only 8. But one day he'll be a teenager and I hope he sees other women nursing freely. Wouldn't that be great?

One day his friend asked "what's your mom doing?"
DS: "Nursing the baby."
Friend: With her boobs?
DS: Well, how else do think babies eat?
post #47 of 48
Thread Starter 
my 8 year old is great and a big advocate! never said a word!
post #48 of 48
Well I asked my son about it, and what he would say to friends who might have an issue with breastfeeding. I used the example of seeing a young woman NIP at the mall, and he's hanging out with friends, the friends say something rude or crude (like boys will) to eachother about the woman NIP, and what would his reaction be. He would tell his friends that breastfeeding is normal, in fact they may have been breastfed too, and it really is the way babies should be fed.
I think having an open dialogue with my son helped him have the knowledge to educate his friends, and when his friends come over, they are well aware that I will nurse Ace if need be. I am VERY discrete, out of respect for my son, and his friends. At times Acelin gets a little acrobatic in nursing, so I just go to my room and nurse him. I don't mind leaving the room, it is distracting to Ace, and me with the extra people around.
Jake did get nervous one time when I was nursing Cameron at the mall, I find it funny that it bothered him more when he was 12 than it does now at 14. As for my 10 yr old son, he could care less...
Donna
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