back to work tomorrow... so sad

[amygoforth]

My first day back at work is tomorrow. I've been home since November 21.

*big sigh*

I'm sad that Drew is just now really waking up and starting to smile and laugh and coo. How will I find time at night to spend just playing with him like I did with Evan? This thought breaks my heart.

I'm scared that there will be so much to do each night (dinner, baths, prep for the next day) that I won't be able to be happy and enjoy my babies.

I'm worried that I'm going to be so stressed that I'll turn into an angry shrew and my kids will hate me.

Moms do this all the time, right?? We'll be okay, right?

I cried today because Drew is going to smell different now. He'll be staying w/ my MIL (which is great, don't get me wrong), but he's going to come home smelling like a hospital. She uses this very medicinal-smelling lotion that totally rubs off on my kids. The same thing happened when Evan stayed with her (he's in daycare now).

I'd love to go part-time at work, but financially I just can't right now. I'm the bread-winner, so to speak, and I work for a big evil corporation who pays me very well. DH should be getting a nice pay increase after he finishes school, so that'll help. Hopefully I'll be able to spend more time at home then.

[spiralmg]

[DesireeH]

I'm sorry mama!

[Jeanne_L]

I hope your first back day went well, Amy. your babies will know you love them, and that you are doing the best you can!

[amis2girls]

s I know it's hard.

[kofduke]

I hope everything goes well.

[IncaMama]

[mariposita]

how did it go? i hope it went well for all of you!

[aisraeltax]

i feel for you. hope all is going well. dh is pressuring me to commit to a time when i will go back and its just so hard to think about.
hire someone to clean the house is my first suggestion...you shouldnt worry about that.
and just make sure you enjoy your bliss...all else can wait.
s
rach

[amygoforth]

Thanks for all the hugs!

Actually, the last two days have gone VERY well. I think I got a lot of my fears and emotions out on Sunday. Last night I gave the baby a bath while DH put my toddler to bed. That was some nice down time. Other than that, things ran smoothly. Both my babes have been angels about getting up and getting out the door the last two mornings. I BF Drew last thing before we head out the door, which makes us both feel good. And Evan has been really sweet about just sitting next to me, watching a bit of a movie while I bf.

I'm sure we'll have lots of rough patches until our routine is set, but so far so good.