witnessed 3 year old niece being abused by my sister and BIL

[paeck712]

You ladies were so great with the advice you gave me last time I posted, I thought I would get your input on another bad situation. My sister and I are not close. We live in the same town, but only see each other when my dad comes to visit, or if we both happen to be visiting him (Christmas, 4th of July, etc.) Well, my dad happened to be in town this weekend, so we got together yesterday. My sister and BIL have three kids (13,8,and 3 1/2). I am really concerned with the way they are treating my 3 1/2 yr old niece. She has alot of problems, that have never been diagnosed. She is developmentally delayed, she has trouble talking, didn't walk until she was 2, just started eating solid food and recently got off of a diet of infant formula,etc. My oldest DD is 2 she is at about the same level as my niece. My sister and BIL have never sought any help for her. I think they are in denial. My niece is a sweet little thing, but she has alot of trouble communicating. We spent yesterday with them, and my BIL and sister screamed at my niece the entire time. They kept telling her, you're naughty, you're gonna get a spanking, we are mad at you, etc. If she is hungry or needs anything, she tries to tell them and they scream, "what do you want!" at her, and then they don't give her what she needed in the first place. If she gets hurt and gets upset they say, "you're fine." If I ask her if she's alright and give her any attention, they tell me she is just faking it. Last night we went over to their house for dinner. I was holding my 8 month old dd, and my sister came up to her and asked her if she wanted a crinkly (my sister's name for beer). I said no, and pulled my daughter away. My sister said, "why not? I give Laura crinkly's all the time." She them asked my niece if she wanted a crinkly, and my niece said "yah, I want a crinkly, and tried to get the beer my sister was holding." I was so shocked. After dinner, I saw my niece had a medicine bottle. I told my sister that she had it and she just ignored me. My niece was taking big gulps out the thing. My BIL saw and said to my sister, "what are you doing?" and my sister said, "I just want to get her to go to sleep. I let her drink it out of the bottle all the time. It's not going to hurt her, even if she drank the whole bottle it wouldn't hurt her. It's just Tylenol". We got the bottle away from my niece and I quickly got my kids all bundled up and we left. I was so upset I was crying. I couldn't believe the way my niece was treated. I am still so sick about it. I don't know what to do. I talked to my Dad about it today, and he didn't seem to think it was that big of a deal. I'm sorry this was so long. I'm just so angry about this whole situation, and I wanted to get some ideas about what I should do.

Thanks,
Amber

[Moochie Mamma]

Wow- I'm so sorry that your neice is being treated this way. I know it sounds rash but I would call your local child protective services. Tylenol can absolutely kill a child if they are given too much!!! Especially as it sounds as if she gets large doses frequently. Her little liver cannot handle it. I'm so sad and to hear this I wish I could help you more.

[CalebsMama05]

I would call cps. They absolutely should not have that child.

[RootBeerFloat]

I would start by talking to your sister about your concerns about how your niece is treated. If she's not receptive, I would also call child protective services. Tylenol is absolutely fatal if given in too high a dose--I had a friend in high school who od'ed on it and died. So this is seriously an issue of life and death.

[boongirl]

You will do your sister and her family a favor by calling your local child protective services. Or you could call the police. The adults need to be in classes to teach them how to be better parents and their youngest needs to be evaluated for tylenol poisoning and developmental delays. And the children need to be in a safe place until all of this can take place. Perhaps they could live with you or your father while your sister and brother get their act together. I hope they all get the help they need and soon.

[Stephanie L.]

WOW!!



You hear/read about all kinds of awful stuff, but when you witness it you can really feel affected. I would not hesitate to call CPS. I would NOT discuss it with your sister. She sounds too deep into this to listen and be objective.

I thought I have heard that if you suspect or witness any form of child abuse or negect you have a responsibility to report it. This is suggesting that ignoring it is a form of contribution. Perhaps that's just something I picked up as a social worker's daughter or from our preschool.

Anyway, you're not doing anyone, especially your neice, any help by ignoring the situation. I know I couldn't sleep at night!

[angelpie545]

Originally Posted by Moochie Mamma

Wow- I'm so sorry that your neice is being treated this way. I know it sounds rash but I would call your local child protective services. Tylenol can absolutely kill a child if they are given too much!!! Especially as it sounds as if she gets large doses frequently. Her little liver cannot handle it. I'm so sad and to hear this I wish I could help you more.

I agree! Absolutely call CPS. Right NOW! Keep in mind, I am NOT a person who takes CPS lightly, but in this case it is very necessary. Too much tylenol can and does kill children, and can cause permanent damage, and unfortuately, if your niece has been subjected to that for some time, she may already have liver damage. In this case her life is in danger, and that warrants a call the authorities, in any situation. When a caregiver recklessly puts a child's life in danger, there is no question that that person should not have children in their care, PERIOD! Your sister is playing with fire at her child's expense. Please, please take action.

[Mama2Bug]

I usually hesitate to call CPS, unless the child is in obvious, immediate danger. This child is in such a situation. Imagine if your sister gave her daughter a "crinkly" and then followed it up with a large dose of Tylenol. It would probably kill the child.

Call CPS now.

[moppity]

As a nurse who has worked on a paediatric liver transplant unit...

Call CPS now.

Sorry you had to witness all of that.

[Storm Bride]

I've had really bad experiences with the Canadian equivalent of CPS, and have never advised anybody to call CPS. So, you can believe I'm serious - call them. Your niece is in danger if your sister is letting her drink Tylenol and beer.

[phathui5]

Can you get your whole family together and sit them down for a talk?

[flapjack]

I'm with the PPs: the time for talking is long gone. I'd call CPS.

[NaomiLorelie]

I know it has already been said but call CPS! And the very least ODing on tylenol WILL cause liver damage! We were just discussing it in my nutrition class and my prof is a dr. She said she's seen tylenol od's three times in her life and they were all three the most horrible situations that she has ever seen. But tylenol aside, the yelling, the giving her beer (which by the way if drunk with tylenol WILL kill her) should be reported anyway.

[boston]

That is terrible. I would call CPS. If it's as bad as you say, there should be intervention. At the very least, they can get your sister some parenting classes.

[A&A]

Beer plus tylenol will kill her liver. I'd call CPS NOW!!!!!!!

[psyche]

Call CPS.

I knew someone who died from liver failure years after ODing on Tylenol (and a lengthy hospital stay when she ODed). I can't imagine what constant high doses would do to a little liver.

[Christine&men]

Well, I guess they have not seen a doc on a regular basis for the little girl or else the doc would/should have picked up on the delay (talking/eating). That's neglect. As for the beer and tylenol, no adult in their right mind takes medicine with a swig of alc. Sorry, but I think you should call someone with authority (preferably CPS).

[Zach'smom]

Please call CPS now!!!! That poor child needs help now!

[wawap]

Wow. That poor, poor baby. I can't help but wonder if her delays are due to the fact that she is given beer and Tylenol....

ITA with the others - I'd call CPS right away. This is not a case of parenting differences at all. That child deserves better.

[afishwithabike]

I refuse to give my DC "regular" doses of tylenol due to the damaging affects it has let alone a half a bottle or however much she was DRINKING. I usually grant grace in situations like this but in this case I would try to find some type of intervention for these poor DC. It hurts when it is family. I hope all goes well and these poor DC are placed into a much better situation.