Let's share some more GD accomplishments.

[ShadowMom]

Every once in a while there's a thread where everyone shares their good GD moments... I thought we were due!

Here's mine : I think I have made a TON of progress in controlling my anger. Instead of yelling at DS, or saying mean things (like, "oh for crying out loud, it's the middle of the night! PLEASE just be QUIET") I have done a lot better at just holding my tongue, or saying something productive.

I also think I have made some good progress in not setting up situations where I'm going to feel all tapped up. For instance, we have instituted a "no reading at night no matter how hard of a time you are having sleeping" rule. DS still asks frequently but if I play dead he usually nurses back to sleep (I think that was one way he had of soothing himself back to sleep).

I think his requests at night were a genuine attempt on his part to get himself back to sleep, but it just got to be too much.

So anyway, those are my good "moments" I can think of right now.

Please share yours!

[aira]

I'm standing up for my beliefs with the extended family. I used to feel like I was drowning in everyone else's ideas, and didn't know how to stop them from taking over. But now I'm setting my boundaries with them regarding parenting (and other things!) and it's jsut so much easier to get up in the morning!!

Also, DS got in the bath!!!!!

[angela&avery]

Hi! We had a great day!! I just finished reading "How to talk so your kids will listen.......", and today I did quite well. I used a lot of sentences using "I" instead of "you".... I did some describing what I see.... empathizing more and really listening to what they need, without jumping to conclusions. ... also, asking ds "what do you think?" when he starts firing 50 questions at me... Lots of kind requests to the kids and reminders rather than the exasperated "Avery will you please!!", its been "Hon, could you please?" or "would you please?", or "lets not" or "we need to"......


aaaah, it feels good to not be guilty and upset over a tough day.

[lisac77]

The other day I took DS to a pizza buffet around the corner at his request. It's a great deal because we can both eat for $6. They also have a game room with air hockey and a couple of video games for the older kids that he recently discovered. Thing is, he often plays and refuses to eat. When he asked me if we could go, I said that we could but that he would need to eat. He said OK.

Before we went into the restaurant, I reminded him that he needed to eat. He said he wanted to play. So I said, "OK, we'll do this. We'll go in and pay for our food and get some food from the buffet. Then you may spend a few minutes playing. Then you need to eat a little bit of food, and after you've eaten you may play again." His face lit up and he said, "OK."

We paid and got our food and then I let DS go in the game room for a few minutes, then I went in and reminded him that he needed to eat a little bit of food. He started to get upset, and lay down on the floor (I call this his "Ghandi protest"). I reminded him that he'd agreed to eat and then he could come back and play. Then he got up ON HIS OWN, and went to the table. We sat together for a few minutes and he ate some food. Then he said, "Mom, play?" I said, "Yes, you ate your food as we agreed. Thank you. You may play."

I was super proud of both of us. We made an agreement and stuck to it, and came up with mutually agreeable solutions. DS is only 2.5 and he was very mature.

[Christine&men]

My GD moment of the day (sorry, can't plan any further): Had a really tough morning (due to unexpected morning sickness, never happened this violently before...) I decided to read a little Mothering online. DS was very quiet. When I finally realized how quiet, I checked on him. Salt everywhere in the kitchen! But instead of yelling, yanking, spanking, I realized that I had had time to myself and he was busy exploring. So I got the hoover and cleaned up!

[mom2evan]

OK, here's mine.

I am currently working 25 hours a week and studying for the bar exam 25-30 hours a week. DS is a veteran nightwaker, so I don't get much sleep and feel pretty frazzled and tired right now.

I was studying on Sunday afternoon when DS discovered where I was. I took a break from studying and pulled him up onto my lap for some snuggles. He was using my pen to scribble on my notes when he accidentally knocked over my almost full glass of water - all over my notes, the desk, and the floor. I caught myself about to scold him and shame him (the usual response in my family would have been something along the lines of "oh, christ, look what you've done now, you've spilled water everywhere and made a huge mess, why can't you be more careful), and instead said "Uh-oh, you spilled the water. It was an accident. Come with mama to get a towel and we can clean it up together." We did get towels, and he did help clean up, and no damage was done - to the desk, my papers, the floor, or our relationship.

I was proud of myself for not venting my own tiredness and frustration at him.

[TripMom]

I just finished - "Your Child's Self Esteem" and have been focusing on non-judgemental behavior. That book lists 7 keys to creating a "safe" environment for DCs to develop strong self esteem - and non-judgemental parents are part of that. My own parents are the judgement-King and Queen. So for me this is a major victory to show any progress in this area -- and I really feel like I have begun to let that part of my personality show and am modeling that behaviour for DS.

Also - I have identified DS latest problems as "attention-seeking" -- and am working at using "encouragement" with him to overcome it. Its a long road - but I know I will see positive results eventually.