I am late to this thread.......
I am not a fan of time outs so I cannot help you there. But I though I would share how we handled food throwing in case you are still reading.
Dd has never been a big food thrower. But the few times it happened, typically between 18 months and 2 yo, there was always an underlying issue that needed addressing. Most times it was frustration that I did not understand what she wanted or having difficulty manpulating the fork/spoon. It could look "willful" but I agree with pp that 2 yos really are not capable of willful. At these times, punishment would have been a double frustration for dd. I simply cleaned up the food, asked dd if she was done eating. I am not too picky about floors so if any of the food was salvagable, I would offer it to dd. If not, I would get more food. Then to address the frustration I would offer to help feed dd and make sure I understood if the actual food offered was the problem. Usually after the release of throwing the food, dd felt calmer and was able to tell me what the problem was in one form or another.
I agree that it is not great with me to have dd think throwing food is a good release. So after she did it I would always make double sure to take the time to try and help her. It sounds like "dd threw the food so now she gets more attention and will therefore throw food more" but really it does not work that way. Once she learned that I am her advocate and will help her any way I can, she made more effort to "get through" to me rather than resort to food throwing. Aside from the 2-3 times it happened, it has not been a problem again. She still gets frustrated but has leanred to try harder to ask for help or throw the napkin
Had I reacted with horror, or a "big deal" I suspect that the food throwing would have continued. Basically the food throwing did not get a big reaction from me except for me to refocus on dd and make sure I was not missing info.
I am not a fan of time outs so I cannot help you there. But I though I would share how we handled food throwing in case you are still reading.
Dd has never been a big food thrower. But the few times it happened, typically between 18 months and 2 yo, there was always an underlying issue that needed addressing. Most times it was frustration that I did not understand what she wanted or having difficulty manpulating the fork/spoon. It could look "willful" but I agree with pp that 2 yos really are not capable of willful. At these times, punishment would have been a double frustration for dd. I simply cleaned up the food, asked dd if she was done eating. I am not too picky about floors so if any of the food was salvagable, I would offer it to dd. If not, I would get more food. Then to address the frustration I would offer to help feed dd and make sure I understood if the actual food offered was the problem. Usually after the release of throwing the food, dd felt calmer and was able to tell me what the problem was in one form or another.
I agree that it is not great with me to have dd think throwing food is a good release. So after she did it I would always make double sure to take the time to try and help her. It sounds like "dd threw the food so now she gets more attention and will therefore throw food more" but really it does not work that way. Once she learned that I am her advocate and will help her any way I can, she made more effort to "get through" to me rather than resort to food throwing. Aside from the 2-3 times it happened, it has not been a problem again. She still gets frustrated but has leanred to try harder to ask for help or throw the napkin
Had I reacted with horror, or a "big deal" I suspect that the food throwing would have continued. Basically the food throwing did not get a big reaction from me except for me to refocus on dd and make sure I was not missing info.
