post #261 of 261
7/28/06 at 11:59pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain crunchy
I reject the notion that children are manipulative, specifically to how it relates to us in the adult world as understanding manipulation.
I see where you are coming from as it relates to toddlers and young children, but I disagree that an 11 year old who doesn't want to do chores won't figure out that mama will do them if you wait long enough.

Quote:
I don't expect respect because I brought my daughter into the world, I expect respect because I am a fellow human being, and because I show her respect. Furthermore, I don't expect her to show me any more respect than I show her, which is why we live this way.
I don't expect my daughter's respect simply because I brought her into this world, but because I am her Mama, someone with significantly more life experience than she, the person who is charged to care for her and raise her safely into adulthood.

I have another example from my life this evening: my daughter was watching TV, and it was time to go to Value Village. She was not into it, and kept yelling, "I want my shows!" What to do about this within a model of consensual living? This kid cannot be negotiated into turning off the TV (well, she can be grudgingly convinced with promises of more TV later, but there are usually tears involved). She is a TV addict and would have it on from the time she wakes up til the time she falls asleep if she could. I always warn her, "one more show after this one." And she cries for two more, and when it's time to turn it off, she screams for another show no matter what we agreed upon.

I can't see how to be consensual about that.