Originally Posted by maya44
Well what do you mean by "force." It is pretty broadly defined by some here to mean telling your child they are expected to do something with no negotiation.
By that definition I do/did "force" my kids to do things on a daily basis including get in the car seat, sit at the table, pick up toys, clean their rooms, take a bath etc...
What I didn't do was invest much force into my force. There were seldom consequences for not doing what I asked except a reminder that this is what was expected of them. (Though I did gently place recalcitrent children in car seats when a sibling needed to be picked up on a tight schedule)
I think that expectations are a completely different thing. Especially when there are no bribes, threats, physical force, no consequences for choosing otherwise, etc. Which, ultimately, leaves the choice up to the kid. That's the way your posts read, anyways. I'm guessing that they choose to do the "acceptable" thing most of the time.
Not everything has to be negotiable to be considered non-coercive, imo. Or consentual.
Tbh, I don't think that falls under force at all. Have you read TCC? They have a lot of expectations for their kids, but they don't coerce anyone to do anything (as far as the book says). The kids do what is expected, because it's expected. Not "I expect you to x" which implies that you don't really expect they would do x unless told to do so. But they just expect that their kids WILL do the socially acceptable thing.