Joining in here.
My name is Tana (pronounced like Donna except with a T) and I just got a faint positive pg test yesterday. AF is expected Saturday, and 18 days from O will be Tuesday. So I'm assuming I am pg with more confirmation to come.
You can read my first birth story here
. The whole process of TTC has made me do some serious soul-searching and processing the experience of my first birth. I've spent a lot of time in the MDC P&B forums as well as at many of the sites referenced here. I have decided that I am planning a hospital birth (including prenatal care by the same OB I had last time) but preparing for an unassisted birth.
I've read both of Ina May's books and still want to read Birthing from within. I love the analogy that giving birth is like having sex - you need privacy and you need to totally relax and focus on what you're doing in order to for it to be successful and not cause unnecessary pain. And it is with that concept that I will introduce the idea of UC to my DH. I do not expect him to be wholly supportive at first, but if I proceed slowly and appeal to his rational mind, I think I can get him to be comfortable with the idea.
I am somewhat fearful of what my DH will think, but I am even more fearful of what might happen if I end up at the hospital. Granted, their birthing tubs are much nicer than the bathtub I have here at home. However, I have a dear friend who just gave birth to her second child and ended up with a c-section - the baby was posterior and "stuck" and after trying vacuum and forceps, the two doctors attending her gave up. The next time I opened up Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, I opened randomly right to the page where they press the woman's pelvis to help deliver a baby that is "stuck" and I wonder what might have happened if they had tried that with my friend - would they have gotten similar results?
After my first birth, I still feel very disappointed in the support I got from my caregivers. I expected them to coach me and tell me what positions to try, etc. in order to successfully delivery naturally. Granted, I was very coachable when I was so tired and in so much pain. So I decided that next time, I will learn everything myself and expect those around me to simply support me (bring me a glass of water if I ask for it) rather than figuring out what I need to do and convincing me to do it. I am already practicing prenatal yoga daily and am very intent on being in-tune with my body. I love science - I was pre-med in college - and I love how Ina May describes the actual process of a birth in the midwife section of Spiritual Midwifery. Granted, she is a little bit more interventionist than I would like, but I love how she describes the actual mechanics of what is going on - how to tell where the baby is, how it maneuvers through the birth canal, etc. Understanding of the mechanical process along with being very in-tune with my body I think will help me achieve a natural birth next time much more easily. And if I know all of that information anyway, why risk going to the hospital and risk someone contradicting what my body is telling me or intervening unncessesarily so that I have to deal with that rather than just going with the energy flow of the birth? So that is my greatest fear - that someone will tell me to do something that my body isn't telling me to do, that I will be knocked off-balance by having to process that, and that I might even do as they say and stop listening to my body and thus end up going down a path that leads to unnecessary complications which lead to interventions that I do not want.
Which explains why I am so attracted to the idea of an unassisted birth. In my state, midwives are not allowed to attend births at home (they do practice at the hospital). While I do know of women who have had homebirths with midwives, there is the cost, and having a midwife does not allay my fear that I will be told to do something that isn't really what I should do. I will know if I need to transfer (trusting my intuition), and if I do transfer, I will have the people attending me whom I most trust to help me birth as naturally as possible in a hospital setting.
So again...joining in here. I am very grateful for this forum, the information here as well as the support from others who understand what I am thinking.