Biting

[mum2sarah]

I have an almost 2 year old and an almost 4 year old. Little one keeps biting bigger one. I've tried time outs, explaining that it hurts, giving her a teething ring to bite instead, the Dr. Sears trick of having the child experiment with her own teeth on her own skin to see that it hurts. All to no avail. Biting is still occuring daily, and now big sister is starting to bite back. I have a suspicion that the big sister might be telling the little sister to bite her and putting her finger in her mouth and then crying to me for attention/pity after she gets bitten. But it's hard to catch the act when it happens, so I don't know for sure (and I'm also not certain that this accounts for every biting incident), but she did admit today that she put her finger in her sister's mouth and then her sister bit her. I told her not to put her finger in her sister's mouth and I told her sister that people aren't for biting. I don't know what else I can do... Ideas anyone???

[Piglet68]

I'll have to think about this one for a bit. My son is only 15 months, but he does bite. Fortunately, 3.5 year old DD knows this and knows to watch out for it. She's quicker than he is right now, but I know that will change, and I'm not quite sure how I'll handle it. I suspect I will just let DD know that she needs to fend for herself sometimes and be proactive, but if I catch it happening I will go over there and show DS that he hurt his sister.

[hopesam]

I wish I could help you out, but I have a biter myself and just don't know what to do. She is 2 1/2 and really doesn't seem to do it to hurt or injure, but she can not be deterred. She seems to do it most when she is excited, like it is some sort of a release. I am hoping someone replies with a positive solution. I'm worried that she'll start biting our 4mo. old.

[Magella]

I have a 25 month old who is currently occasionally biting. I believe that right now it has to do with the fact that her 2-year molars are coming in, her mouth is sometimes uncomfortable, and she just has an urge to bite. So when she tries to bite me I remind her that it hurts, and suggest that she can bite a teether if she wants to bite-she often enjoys biting the teethers, which we keep in the freezer where she can access them whenever she wants (bottom freezer). This will pass.

A few months ago, she was biting her siblings. I think that at that time is was part exploration (what happens when I bite a person, it feels funny. she would bite skin, clothes, toys, whatever) and part frustration (she seemed to bite when she wanted a toy her siblings had or some similar situation). So at that time we redirected and worked on giving her words for her feelings and showing her how to be gentle, whichever one of those (or combination of those) seemed most appropriate at the moment based on what was going on and her mood. Also, if she bit me while I was holding her and then persisted in trying to bite me after I reminded her not to, I'd put her down. I'd pick her back up if she wanted, it wasn't a punishment-just similar to moving out of reach of someone who is hurting you. This biting passed.

I remember one or both of my older kids sticking fingers in her mouth and getting bitten. It happened a few times. They learned quickly not to stick fingers in her mouth.

[katebleu]

my dd, thankfully, is not a biter, but my younger brother d-- was. my mom followed him around closing his mouth before he could bite anyone. he was especially bad at LLL meetings. once he realized he wasn't going to get to bite anything he quit trying.

interestingly, d-- was (and to a certain extent still is) very oral. he simply approached the world through taste, not touch or sight. when he was in his heavy biting stage my mom always said he didn't even look at things first. they just went straught into his mouth.

good luck. hope you find something that works.

kate