GD and the older baby

[Lizzo]

Ok, I have a 10.5 month old DS. He is happy, sweet and content.
I read a lot, as much as I can on GD, but somethings I don't know when or how to begin!
It's difficult b/c he's young and has all these phyiscal abilities: he can crawl (FAST!), climb steps, stand and cruise, but he can't talk yet, he can't walk, he can't do things for himself.
So I wonder: how do you do GD with a baby without being coercive?
Maybe I'm ignorant, but please I just want advice. I've been lurking in GD for a little while and feel so lost! I want to raise my DS the best I can and I need some guidance!

[MissRubyandKen]

My first thing was TODDLER-PROOFING! I got rid of or made safe anything they could get hurt on. I put up anything fragile that might not hold up to a toddler's inspection .

[CelticMomma]

Let go of the notion (if you have one) that toddlers can do anything wrong.

I have an 18 month old, and I have yet to reprimand him. My first, however, put up with a lot of learning on my part. We never spanked, or anything, but I remember being much more concerned that discipline needed to be started early in order to be effective.

Now I watch my toddler and think what on earth could he do wrong? Any discipline we've had to do was such basic information (we don't pull sister's hair, we don't hit daddy, we don't pinch mama's breast) that we just pass it along to him and figure at some point way down the road, it's gonna stick. But, not for a while yet.

I think it's good to be establishing what the "ground rules" are, like we don't hurt others, ourselves or objects, but know that it will be eons before it sinks in. Getting in practice now, saying things gently NOW before your child gets older will be helpful to you and to other children (who like to hear that everyone gets treated fairly), and will slowly enforce your message.

HTH!

[mother nurture]

Originally Posted by CelticMomma

I think it's good to be establishing what the "ground rules" are, like we don't hurt others, ourselves or objects, but know that it will be eons before it sinks in. Getting in practice now, saying things gently NOW before your child gets older will be helpful to you and to other children (who like to hear that everyone gets treated fairly), and will slowly enforce your message.

HTH!

I echo what CelticMomma says here. Looking back I feel like the early discipline was more just letting dd know what was acceptable behavior. One thing that we do in our home, or at least try to do as much as possible with dd is say things in a positive way. Instead of telling her what she can't do-"We don't_.", we tell her what we do instead- "We only_. or We_."

In my experience gd just was always there. Maybe it is for you, too, but you don't see it, yet. Sitaution will arise when I have to stop and think about what I'm doing, going to do, etc. but most of the time it just comes natural. I do, however, spend all day gd-ing. We use gentle and positive discipline with my preschool students. Good luck

[EnviroBecca]

I feel there are 3 basic steps to handling objectionable toddler behavior, 2 of which are optional depending on the situation:

1. The firm objection. Optional; use if behavior needs to stop ASAP. Example: "OWWW!! Let go of my hair!!"

2. The redirection to a positive behavior. Example: "Touch gently."

3. The consequence. Optional; use if behavior is persistent or if consequence is unavoidable. Example: "When you pull my hair, I don't feel like holding you." Other example: "Because you broke the jar, you'll have to stay in here alone while I go sweep up."

The other big thing I'm working on is checking my urge to say no. Often things I think are going to be problematic are not if I give EnviroBaby a chance to show me what he's actually going to do, which may be different from what I think he's going to do. For example, I kept stopping him from grabbing the phone cord near where it attaches to the wall because I was afraid he'd yank it and damage the flimsy plastic thing that holds it in. When I finally let him handle it without interference, I found that what he wanted to do was to hold the slightly slack cord about 6 inches from the outlet and shake it up and down in a joyful manner. That doesn't hurt anything. The yanking I'd seen him do before was all caused by my attempts to make him let go of it!