My 12 yo ds stepmom thinks he is abnormal help!

[Strong Mama]

Help! We are having major issues at the moment. My son is 12 and does not live with me at the moment, as I am abroad. He lives with his dad and stepmom, who are really nice people. He pretty much gets his way with them, they are a lot nicer than I am with ds. I mean, as far as if I punish, I dont go back on it and he knows this. He has started lying about everything, he forgets things(oh, did we just talk about that, sorry I forgot type thing) he talks in school too much but makes good grades, he tells his step mom NO when she asks him to do something, instead of doing it right away, he begs for things, slams doors, etc...Now..I think he is being normal. I mean come on, he doesnt cuss, hit things, bullly people, drink, take drugs, have sex, etc..he is just being a normal pre teen. She thinks he is crazy. She swears he is bi polar, add, adhd, or some kind of other mental problem. I have told her to take him to the childrens clinic but she wont. I have suggested reading material for her, links, etc..but she wont listen. I have suggtested lots of things. She has a 17 yo son that was a calm, docile shy child so she thinks thats the way my spirited 12 yo is going to be. Sorry but shes wrong! I told her she will have to learn other coping techniques and work with him instead of constantly nagging and griping. I call everyday and it is never anything good about him, it is always a problem of some kind. Thankfully I will be back there in a few months. Any ideas?

[calicokatt]

One idea only. Get home as fast as you can, and she may be a nice person, but you should be dealing with his father, not her.

Oh yes, and

[Strong Mama]

Thanls for the advice ,yes I am getting back! My sons father and the stepmother have been married for 10years and I have never dealt with his father(we married young(18) due to baby and strict parents and we divorced at 19). The father and I get along great as well do the stepmom and i normally. I am very patient with her. When she rants on the phone to me(thankfully ds is at school he doenst hear) and I tell her ds is normal, she hangs up on me sometimes! LOL She will not let me talk to the father, and hasnt all these years. I have always dealt with her.