I woke up on Sat. January 28 at about 2 am with contractions that just felt different. They had been waking me up and out of sleep for about an hour, so I just got up and sat on the recliner in our bedroom and watched a little tv to keep me distracted. At some point I decided that maybe I should start timing these suckers and got paper and pencil. They were between 8 and 10 minutes apart and lasting about one minute a piece. About 5 am I decided that I was bored and not going to be able to doze anymore in the recliner and I headed downstairs. I emailed a couple people telling them what had been going on (mom and Elizabeth – the person who was going to watch the boys) and to call me as soon as they woke up. About 5:30 I decided that I needed Steve up to help keep me company. At this point the contractions were still 8 – 10 minutes apart but I was not able to talk through them. I wanted to concentrate. And I did not want to sit down. I just wanted to walk and walk and walk. About 6 am I decided to call my mom and let her know that today was going to be the day. I also called Charlotte (midwife) to let her know that things were starting. Charlotte told me to try lying down and see if that spaced the contractions out a bit or changed them at all and call her back in an hour. I laid down and the contractions went to about 15 minutes apart and were even more intense when lying down. So, I stayed there to get some sleep for a couple hours. It felt good, but it was frustrating to wake up every 15 minutes or so to a rough contraction. I found myself not wanting to go back to sleep because I was dreading such a rough awakening! So, I got up and decided that there was no urgent need to call Charlotte back yet.
For the next couple hours I just labored around the house and found that bending over my kitchen counter and moaning and rocking from side to side really helped. At some point my kids had gotten up and Steve was getting the kids breakfast. Everyone was so excited and my kids kept asking if there was anything they could do for me. Sam gave me a wonderful foot massage, Will massaged my back and Andrew watched, a little scared to come near me, I think. Anyway, I ended up eating a hard boiled egg and drinking some of the sports drink. I felt a little more energized after that. It was now about 10 am and I had Steve go upstairs to make up our bed as a birth bed. We had made up the downstairs guest bedroom as a birth bed in case it happened in the middle of the night we wouldn’t have to awaken the boys. But, it now looked like it was going to happen during the day. So, he did and he also cleaned the room up – vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, etc. The boys played downstairs most of the day and I’d go from watching them play video games to wanting to be by myself.
Around 11 am Charlotte called me in a panic. She’d had a dream that I had the baby by myself!! I assured her that I hadn’t, but that the contractions really hadn’t changed that much – they were still 8 – 10 minutes apart and I was still unable to talk through them. So, she said they’d be on their way. I called my mom and told her that the midwives were coming so she’d get on the road (she had a 3 hour drive). I also called Elizabeth and asked her to come on over.
Charlotte was here about noon. She checked me in the guest bedroom and found me to be completely effaced and about 4 cm dialated. I just KNEW that’s where I was because my contractions had slowed considerably – same thing happened with both Andrew and William. So, she told me that we had plenty of time. There was no rush and we just needed to let my body do what it was going to do. Cassandra (apprentice midwife) showed up a bit later and Sonya (doula and apprentice midwife) showed up after that. They gathered all of the birth stuff and took it all up to my bedroom. It was really fun to watch her unpack all that stuff! My kids asked her all sorts of questions about everything!! Basically, during this time, the contractions were only coming about every 20 minutes and they weren’t lasting very long. But, it felt better to stand in a doorway and rock front to back during them. That lasted the rest of the labor.
At some point Steve realized that nobody had eaten lunch. So, he heated up the chili and noodles that I had made and frozen to serve during labor to anyone who happened to be here. By this time Elizabeth had shown up and was helping out (I think!).
This is where I started having some problems with performance anxiety. Everyone was here just kind of sitting around waiting on me to “do” something exciting. I just knew that all these wonderful women wanted to get home to their families and the pressure was getting to me. The contractions were slowing WAY down until they practically weren’t happening anymore. I also hate being the center of attention and this was just adding to all of that. I never realized how much of labor is mental. I was just not in the right frame of mind to continue with my labor at that point. I also realized how scared I was. I talked with Charlotte about it for a little while. I was able to pinpoint that I was afraid of the pain of pushing and the fear that I’d have another little one with a shoulder dystocia. She reminded me about how fear is the opposite of trust and how I really needed to remember who was in charge here and to trust in Him. I do know that, but it was getting harder and harder to do as the birth was getting closer! I decided that I’d just get through each contraction – one at a time. I’d try not to worry about the pushing part that was to come.
The day I was in labor was absolutely gorgeous. It was about 55 degrees and sunny. So, after lunch, I decided that I wanted to get out of the house and walk to see if I couldn’t bring the contractions closer together. While outside we ran into nearly all our neighbors who at this point knew I was in labor. It was fun! I think I scared one of the early 20 something year old neighbors who didn’t even know I was pregnant. I had a contraction in front of him and he couldn’t get away from me fast enough!!
Mom came driving up at some point during my walk and decided to walk with me. We must have walked for an hour. It was just so nice to get out of the house!! I went back into the house and tried to watch tv. I wanted to see if it would take my mind off of labor a bit. It didn’t work. I continued to walk and stop in the doorway and rock back and forth during a contraction.
Charlotte asked if she could check me again at around 5 pm. I agreed and she said that I was a comfortable 7 but that the baby’s head wasn’t coming down straight on the cervix and that was why it was taking so long. The bag of water was also bulging in there. She recommended I lift one leg on a chair during each contraction, switching legs with each one. It was supposed to be like I was going up the stairs. So, I did that for about 1 ½ hours. It wasn’t the most comfortable way to labor, but I knew I needed to switch the baby’s position or it would only be longer. At this point I knew that labor was kicking into high gear. The contractions were getting a lot closer together and more painful. Up to this point, I don’t think that the contractions were really all that painful – just hard work. So, I decided to run upstairs to our bedroom and let Charlotte and the other midwives know.
I think it was at this point that Elizabeth and mom made dinner for the boys. They ate tacos while I was upstairs in my bedroom laboring some more.
Charlotte checked me at 7 pm and I was still a 7 on one side and a 10 on all the others. Her head still wasn’t in the right position. She now recommended I lie down on my right side with a pillow between my legs to see if her head wouldn’t move a little bit and dialate that one side better. I really didn’t want to lie down during this entire labor. I felt the need to be standing and I KNEW that I had to deliver on hands and knees. Anyway, I laid there for about two contractions and my water broke all over EVERYTHING!!! It had a bit of meconium in it and that scared me as I knew it was one of the few reasons that Charlotte would transfer a baby. I ran to the bathroom to sit on the toilet as I suddenly had the urge to pee and poop. I started to have to push while on the toilet!! Charlotte could hear me, so she told me to try not to push until she was sure I was complete. She checked me and sure enough, that one contraction had completed the dialation. I could now push. I was now SOOOOO scared and didn’t want to do this anymore. I remember joking that someone could just take me to the hospital now and please let them cut me open and wake me when it was over. It wasn’t from the pain, but from the fear. I didn’t really mean it!!
So, I got on the bed on my hands and knees. Well, on my knees and the pillows were helping support my arms/chest. I got one strong contraction and just refused to push. I told her that I was just going to let the baby fall out of me. And she started to!! I could feel her coming down the birth canal! At this point Charlotte quoted the bible verse that is right above my bed, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13 She started it and everyone finished it. It worked! I started pushing.
Charlotte told the people at my head (mom and Steve) to add more pillows under my arms as I was pushing uphill. They did and during the next push I heard Charlotte say, “I’ve got a hand!!” Her hand came out beside her head – THAT was why she didn’t dialate well. Charlotte tried to get me to STOP pushing at that point so that she could push the hand/arm back in so that it wouldn’t rip me as it came the rest of the way out. I absolutely could not stop pushing at that point and she was born at 7:23 pm. I think I pushed for about two minutes. I felt her entire body slide out of me – what relief!!! I immediately tried to sit down – and nearly landed on her!! Charlotte rubbed her chest for a couple seconds and she let out a lusty cry. They handed her to me between my legs and the first thing I saw was that she was a SHE!!!! I laughed and said, “Oh my God! It’s a girl!!” I had convinced myself that I couldn’t have girls!! I swear I thought this was a boy! I grabbed her up to my chest as I laid back on the bed. There was no need to be concerned about the meconium – it wasn’t a problem. She was breathing well on her own. No suctioning needed!!
So far since the birth, we’ve been telling people about her birth at home. Most people are a bit shocked I think. It’s not that we wanted to hide it from people, but we didn’t want them to worry and we didn’t want to hear their doubts. I needed to surround myself with supportive people and didn’t want to have to convince anyone that birth is safe at home! So, when people hear about her homebirth, they all say, “Well, thank God it all went well.” Well, it didn’t all go so well. We did have a pretty major complication. But, it wasn’t anything Charlotte couldn’t handle.
This is where things got kicked into high gear. As I laid back, apparently I started gushing blood. I asked if it was blood and Charlotte told me that it was extra fluids. She knew she needed to keep me calm. She knew at that point that she had to get the placenta out. This confused me as I thought that you were supposed to wait to get the placenta out until the mom had a contraction to expel it. Apparently, she could tell that it had partially detatched. So, I pushed and it came out. Luckily it looked good and all in one piece. I was still gushing blood. I was given all sorts of herbs that were supposed to contract the uterus. Nothing was working except the “massage” that they were giving my belly. That actually felt like someone was punching me in the uterus, but, they called it a massage! Basically, my uterus would clamp down as long as she held it there. But if she let go of it, my uterus would stop contracting and I’d start bleeding again. I kept trying to get Meg latched on to start contractions – no go. So, my mom ran to the corner drug store for a breast pump. When that came back, they put it together and started pumping the side that Meg was not on. I think it was at this point that I started feeling like I was going to pass out. I was so darn HOT!! They opened the window by my bed and fanned me. Charlotte kept reassuring me that my color was still good and she thought I was just over heated. I think I was just panicked a bit, but she really knew how to calm me down. I started feeling better almost immediately. Someone also got me one of the all natural sports drinks and it tasted SOOOO good!!! Charlotte ended up going up inside me and “cleaning out” the uterus of all clots. That was so NOT comfortable. But it didn’t hurt. And it did seem to help the bleeding a bit. She did tell me at one point that if I didn’t stop soon I would need to be transferred to the hospital. Then, Charlotte had a revelation of sorts when she realized the reason WHY I was bleeding. Apparently, women with an anterior, low-lying placenta are more prone to post-partum hemorrhage. It was really good to have a reason. Then she said, “I command you in the name of Jesus to stop bleeding!!” And I did!!! Then someone started the doxology and everyone started singing. Charlotte said that next time she has someone hemmoraging, she’ll start with that!!
The poor boys were in the basement playing but wanting to come upstairs. They knew that they had a new sibling, but didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. They just knew that the midwives were working on mommy. I don’t think they came up to meet her until close to 9 pm. It took that long to get the bleeding under control. They all took turns holding her. Sam was aloof. I don’t think he really knows how to show emotion well. All week, he’s been helping out around the house – that’s how he’s showing his excitement and emotion. Andrew was in love. I could see it in his eyes. He told me that it was okay that she was a girl. William told me she was heavy! He is excited and talks about her all the time. He refuses to call her Meg. He just calls her “Margaret Elizabeth.”
For the next couple hours I just labored around the house and found that bending over my kitchen counter and moaning and rocking from side to side really helped. At some point my kids had gotten up and Steve was getting the kids breakfast. Everyone was so excited and my kids kept asking if there was anything they could do for me. Sam gave me a wonderful foot massage, Will massaged my back and Andrew watched, a little scared to come near me, I think. Anyway, I ended up eating a hard boiled egg and drinking some of the sports drink. I felt a little more energized after that. It was now about 10 am and I had Steve go upstairs to make up our bed as a birth bed. We had made up the downstairs guest bedroom as a birth bed in case it happened in the middle of the night we wouldn’t have to awaken the boys. But, it now looked like it was going to happen during the day. So, he did and he also cleaned the room up – vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the bathroom, etc. The boys played downstairs most of the day and I’d go from watching them play video games to wanting to be by myself.
Around 11 am Charlotte called me in a panic. She’d had a dream that I had the baby by myself!! I assured her that I hadn’t, but that the contractions really hadn’t changed that much – they were still 8 – 10 minutes apart and I was still unable to talk through them. So, she said they’d be on their way. I called my mom and told her that the midwives were coming so she’d get on the road (she had a 3 hour drive). I also called Elizabeth and asked her to come on over.
Charlotte was here about noon. She checked me in the guest bedroom and found me to be completely effaced and about 4 cm dialated. I just KNEW that’s where I was because my contractions had slowed considerably – same thing happened with both Andrew and William. So, she told me that we had plenty of time. There was no rush and we just needed to let my body do what it was going to do. Cassandra (apprentice midwife) showed up a bit later and Sonya (doula and apprentice midwife) showed up after that. They gathered all of the birth stuff and took it all up to my bedroom. It was really fun to watch her unpack all that stuff! My kids asked her all sorts of questions about everything!! Basically, during this time, the contractions were only coming about every 20 minutes and they weren’t lasting very long. But, it felt better to stand in a doorway and rock front to back during them. That lasted the rest of the labor.
At some point Steve realized that nobody had eaten lunch. So, he heated up the chili and noodles that I had made and frozen to serve during labor to anyone who happened to be here. By this time Elizabeth had shown up and was helping out (I think!).
This is where I started having some problems with performance anxiety. Everyone was here just kind of sitting around waiting on me to “do” something exciting. I just knew that all these wonderful women wanted to get home to their families and the pressure was getting to me. The contractions were slowing WAY down until they practically weren’t happening anymore. I also hate being the center of attention and this was just adding to all of that. I never realized how much of labor is mental. I was just not in the right frame of mind to continue with my labor at that point. I also realized how scared I was. I talked with Charlotte about it for a little while. I was able to pinpoint that I was afraid of the pain of pushing and the fear that I’d have another little one with a shoulder dystocia. She reminded me about how fear is the opposite of trust and how I really needed to remember who was in charge here and to trust in Him. I do know that, but it was getting harder and harder to do as the birth was getting closer! I decided that I’d just get through each contraction – one at a time. I’d try not to worry about the pushing part that was to come.
The day I was in labor was absolutely gorgeous. It was about 55 degrees and sunny. So, after lunch, I decided that I wanted to get out of the house and walk to see if I couldn’t bring the contractions closer together. While outside we ran into nearly all our neighbors who at this point knew I was in labor. It was fun! I think I scared one of the early 20 something year old neighbors who didn’t even know I was pregnant. I had a contraction in front of him and he couldn’t get away from me fast enough!!
Mom came driving up at some point during my walk and decided to walk with me. We must have walked for an hour. It was just so nice to get out of the house!! I went back into the house and tried to watch tv. I wanted to see if it would take my mind off of labor a bit. It didn’t work. I continued to walk and stop in the doorway and rock back and forth during a contraction.
Charlotte asked if she could check me again at around 5 pm. I agreed and she said that I was a comfortable 7 but that the baby’s head wasn’t coming down straight on the cervix and that was why it was taking so long. The bag of water was also bulging in there. She recommended I lift one leg on a chair during each contraction, switching legs with each one. It was supposed to be like I was going up the stairs. So, I did that for about 1 ½ hours. It wasn’t the most comfortable way to labor, but I knew I needed to switch the baby’s position or it would only be longer. At this point I knew that labor was kicking into high gear. The contractions were getting a lot closer together and more painful. Up to this point, I don’t think that the contractions were really all that painful – just hard work. So, I decided to run upstairs to our bedroom and let Charlotte and the other midwives know.
I think it was at this point that Elizabeth and mom made dinner for the boys. They ate tacos while I was upstairs in my bedroom laboring some more.
Charlotte checked me at 7 pm and I was still a 7 on one side and a 10 on all the others. Her head still wasn’t in the right position. She now recommended I lie down on my right side with a pillow between my legs to see if her head wouldn’t move a little bit and dialate that one side better. I really didn’t want to lie down during this entire labor. I felt the need to be standing and I KNEW that I had to deliver on hands and knees. Anyway, I laid there for about two contractions and my water broke all over EVERYTHING!!! It had a bit of meconium in it and that scared me as I knew it was one of the few reasons that Charlotte would transfer a baby. I ran to the bathroom to sit on the toilet as I suddenly had the urge to pee and poop. I started to have to push while on the toilet!! Charlotte could hear me, so she told me to try not to push until she was sure I was complete. She checked me and sure enough, that one contraction had completed the dialation. I could now push. I was now SOOOOO scared and didn’t want to do this anymore. I remember joking that someone could just take me to the hospital now and please let them cut me open and wake me when it was over. It wasn’t from the pain, but from the fear. I didn’t really mean it!!
So, I got on the bed on my hands and knees. Well, on my knees and the pillows were helping support my arms/chest. I got one strong contraction and just refused to push. I told her that I was just going to let the baby fall out of me. And she started to!! I could feel her coming down the birth canal! At this point Charlotte quoted the bible verse that is right above my bed, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13 She started it and everyone finished it. It worked! I started pushing.
Charlotte told the people at my head (mom and Steve) to add more pillows under my arms as I was pushing uphill. They did and during the next push I heard Charlotte say, “I’ve got a hand!!” Her hand came out beside her head – THAT was why she didn’t dialate well. Charlotte tried to get me to STOP pushing at that point so that she could push the hand/arm back in so that it wouldn’t rip me as it came the rest of the way out. I absolutely could not stop pushing at that point and she was born at 7:23 pm. I think I pushed for about two minutes. I felt her entire body slide out of me – what relief!!! I immediately tried to sit down – and nearly landed on her!! Charlotte rubbed her chest for a couple seconds and she let out a lusty cry. They handed her to me between my legs and the first thing I saw was that she was a SHE!!!! I laughed and said, “Oh my God! It’s a girl!!” I had convinced myself that I couldn’t have girls!! I swear I thought this was a boy! I grabbed her up to my chest as I laid back on the bed. There was no need to be concerned about the meconium – it wasn’t a problem. She was breathing well on her own. No suctioning needed!!
So far since the birth, we’ve been telling people about her birth at home. Most people are a bit shocked I think. It’s not that we wanted to hide it from people, but we didn’t want them to worry and we didn’t want to hear their doubts. I needed to surround myself with supportive people and didn’t want to have to convince anyone that birth is safe at home! So, when people hear about her homebirth, they all say, “Well, thank God it all went well.” Well, it didn’t all go so well. We did have a pretty major complication. But, it wasn’t anything Charlotte couldn’t handle.
This is where things got kicked into high gear. As I laid back, apparently I started gushing blood. I asked if it was blood and Charlotte told me that it was extra fluids. She knew she needed to keep me calm. She knew at that point that she had to get the placenta out. This confused me as I thought that you were supposed to wait to get the placenta out until the mom had a contraction to expel it. Apparently, she could tell that it had partially detatched. So, I pushed and it came out. Luckily it looked good and all in one piece. I was still gushing blood. I was given all sorts of herbs that were supposed to contract the uterus. Nothing was working except the “massage” that they were giving my belly. That actually felt like someone was punching me in the uterus, but, they called it a massage! Basically, my uterus would clamp down as long as she held it there. But if she let go of it, my uterus would stop contracting and I’d start bleeding again. I kept trying to get Meg latched on to start contractions – no go. So, my mom ran to the corner drug store for a breast pump. When that came back, they put it together and started pumping the side that Meg was not on. I think it was at this point that I started feeling like I was going to pass out. I was so darn HOT!! They opened the window by my bed and fanned me. Charlotte kept reassuring me that my color was still good and she thought I was just over heated. I think I was just panicked a bit, but she really knew how to calm me down. I started feeling better almost immediately. Someone also got me one of the all natural sports drinks and it tasted SOOOO good!!! Charlotte ended up going up inside me and “cleaning out” the uterus of all clots. That was so NOT comfortable. But it didn’t hurt. And it did seem to help the bleeding a bit. She did tell me at one point that if I didn’t stop soon I would need to be transferred to the hospital. Then, Charlotte had a revelation of sorts when she realized the reason WHY I was bleeding. Apparently, women with an anterior, low-lying placenta are more prone to post-partum hemorrhage. It was really good to have a reason. Then she said, “I command you in the name of Jesus to stop bleeding!!” And I did!!! Then someone started the doxology and everyone started singing. Charlotte said that next time she has someone hemmoraging, she’ll start with that!!
The poor boys were in the basement playing but wanting to come upstairs. They knew that they had a new sibling, but didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. They just knew that the midwives were working on mommy. I don’t think they came up to meet her until close to 9 pm. It took that long to get the bleeding under control. They all took turns holding her. Sam was aloof. I don’t think he really knows how to show emotion well. All week, he’s been helping out around the house – that’s how he’s showing his excitement and emotion. Andrew was in love. I could see it in his eyes. He told me that it was okay that she was a girl. William told me she was heavy! He is excited and talks about her all the time. He refuses to call her Meg. He just calls her “Margaret Elizabeth.”
Congratulations 
