WOHM's - What kind of childcare do you use?

[squeakermansmom]

What kind of childcare do you use? Also, are you happy with it? Why or why not? And how old is your child? My son is 10 months and we may need to use outside childcare soon. it would only be for about 10 hours a week (over 2-3 days). I think my son would benefit from being around other kids, but i get concerned about him getting sick, not being attended to, etc. i am just curious what other mom's experiences have been.

[Lucky Charm]

with my older kids, my grandparents babysat. i couldnt have asked for anything better. they were wonderful.

with my 3rd child, i went back to work when he was 10 wks old. i was working nights in an ICU, so i scheduled myslef so that he would be with a daycare provider 4 days a month, while i slept. i picked him up at about 2pm. anyway, i called childcare connection and gave them my zipcode. they gave me the name and number of all the licensed daycare providers (and centers) in my area. i interviewed and visited 24 before i walked into Linda's home. i knew immediately, my gut told me, that she was the one. i have never been sorry. she actually was a teacher with 2 masters degrees, who stayed home with her 4 yr old. my 2 older kids stayed with her also, but just for approx 30 min till the school bus came. she took such good care of nicholas, ...whenever i saw her, nicholas was in her arms.

pay attention to your gut, its talking to you!

[ohiomama]

My dad started a private Catholic school about 12 yrs ago. I have three brothers who still attend school there. My ds who is 3.5 goes to school with them. This is his 3rd. yr. there. The first year my mom taught there and he just stayed in the classroom with her. She just carried him around while she taught. Now my best friend's sister who is a teacher at the school is the one who is primarily in charge of his care but he spends time visiting with his grandpa and in the kindergarden through 2 grade room as well. I love it, it is a really small school (about 25 students, kindergarden through 12th grade) and he gets tons of attention. He learns things because he wants to. He is never forced to sit down and do any activities but can join in anytime he wants to. And he gets to see his grandpa and uncles everyday.

[BensMom]

Ahhh...childcare, my least favorite topic!

I went back to work 2x/week when DS was 10 weeks old and sent him to stay with a dear friend of mine. While she was not totally AP, she did have some philosophies I like (You can't hold a baby too much.) Unfortunately, DS hated it there. I don't know if it was the older kids - she had her own child and another friends child that were 6 mos older than DS and a 4 year old. I still don't know, but he cried so much there and even when she was holding him as much as she could. So we switched to a sitter in our neighborhood at around 6 mos.

I was not as happy with this arrangement because there always seemed to be a houseful of people - neices, nephews, grandmas. It was so chaotic and the TV was on all the time. But DS was happier. He was well taken care of. But she had a baby and we needed to find different care at around 16 mos.

He then went to a licensed home daycare. I thought I picked well, but was disatisfied after a few weeks. She didn't do all the things she promised - structured schedule, outside play time, crafts, etc. It seemed it was all freeplay and again - TV on all the time. She communicated terribly with me about days off and such and DS even started hating it there. After fully adjusting, he started cying again when DH went to drop him off.

So now, at 23 mos, he just started at a montessori school. He is in the 2 year old room. I hope it is a good fit. Since he does not talk, I hope being around the older kids and the added structure helps. It seems like a good school and the teachers have been willing to hold DS a lot to help him nap and adjust. When DH dropped him off yesterday, he barely whined. So after 3 days he is already fussing less than the last sitters.

I hate having to stress and worry about who is taking care of DS. I wish I could do a split shift with DH so he never goes to daycare. I hate that he is pretty much sick from Sept-Mar every year. But I just try to appreciate that it is only PT and I still have my Mommy-Ben days on Tuesday/Thursdays.

Sorry so long!
Jenn

[Marlena]

I have a nanny who comes in 5 days per week to take care of dd in our home. When interviewing her (from among many others), she seemed "right," and she has been. She's been watching dd since dd was 3 months old. It's not a cheap childcare option, but I think it's the best one (barring mama doing it, of course, or another loving and attentive family member) for the first years. We may transition to Montesorri or another day care after dd turns 2 or so.

[Mere]

I work at a university, so my dd is enrolled at the university day care center 3 days a week. They are fabulous, and very AP oriented. They are very attentive to following parents' directives, but if you don't specify they'll do as they see fit (AP style) according to what the child needs.

I think the key is to spend a lot of time at the daycare provider simply observing; nursing is a great way to accomplish this! I nurse dd twice while she is there, and it has given me a lot of time to observe how the center is run, how they treat the kids, etc. Because of my observation time, I feel completely confident that she is well taken care of and enjoys her time there!

[owen&mama]

I had DS with a neighbor for three days a week from 3 months until he was a year old. That worked out great for the most part, until our informal arrangement began to work against us. We parted ways under mutual agreement so that our friendship didn't suffer from our business arrangement. The care was fabulous - DS loved her - but it became unreliable (she was sick a lot and/or began to want more and more days off at the last minute).

Anyway, I visited about 4 or 5 care situations until Millie fell into our lap in the 11th hour. She runs a licensed in-home day care, and she is wonderful! Although she has a number of children, she is constantly holding (at least!) one and the kids are always doing something creative and fun. No TV and a lot of outdoor time. He goes to her 3 days a week. It isn't perfect. She supplies snacks, which aren't what I would choose. There are a few too many kids for my liking. But, he loves it and seems to have settled right in.

For the other two days, he is with another neighbor who has a 2-year old. Those two days are quieter, but also with a lot of activities and interaction with his buddy. The idea is that my DH will take over these two days in a month or two when we (he) finishes the renovations on our house.

There are certain details that I used as criteria, like being able to supply my own food & EBM, flexible schedule, etc. Sit down and work out your own. No matter how trivial it may seem now, it could become huge. But, above all, I agree with the other ladies who said "follow your gut". That's the only way to know. Visit a lot of places and sit and observe for awhile (the nursing scenario worked for me too! ). You'll get a real feel for the interaction between caregivers and children.

Good luck!

[carmen veranda]

I work at a hospital and they have a wonderful day care for employees. It is not on site, which would be grand for us bfing mom's. But it is child centered. There have been some issues, but for the most part, I am pleased. I agree with nursing your little one on site. Most illuminating. This year I work at 0900 many mornings. So I take my dd, age 8 to school and push kids on the swings until school starts. So I know most of her friends and speak with her teacher almost everyday. Then dd age 2 head to day care and I have about 20 minutes or so to hang out with her friends and care givers. I do get some looks nursing her with the 2-3 year olds, but I figure it's good for them. I am pretty sure that she is only nursling there. Some of the ones with younger sibs know what we are doing, and remark that their sister/brother gets that. NummaNumma is what dd calls it.
The caregivers gently redirect sometimes if they feel uncomfortable with how close they might be getting to my breast. Breasty in dd terms. But I sure love my times at my childrens places away from home. Now if only dd, age 16 would let me hang out at Perkins with her and her tribe!!!!!
But back to day care... Another thing I like about this corporate day care business is that all the care givers have taken some child development courses. I think even a basic "what to expect from a___ yr. old is so helpful. Many hospital employees use this facilty. Which I love. Hospital people work and sleep at all hours of the day and night, so people and kids are always coming and going. I like that at anytime all the caregivers know that they could be visited by a parent. I have called moms and/or dads after I started work to let them know their dd/ds was crying or whatever when I was there. And others have done the same.
Not ideal. But it makes it possible to take care of my family and not have to live at the shelter or something. Stuggling with a day care that is sick at the last minute, or you are not super comfortable with, or who has lied to you, or whatever SUCKS!!!

[LiamnEmma]

We have tried someone else's in-home, two center-based places and we now have a nanny come into our home. I haven't been completely satisfied with any of them, but I'm most satisfied with our current situation. The in-home at someone else's was when ds was about 3.5 months old. It lasted about three days and it was clear that he wasn't being attended to as I'd thought he'd be. We switched to a daycare center. I like it for him, the head person was very nice and very attentive and my next door neighbor was asst. director. She also has a child ds' age, so I felt that he was watched well. But I didn't like the room they had for one-year-olds so we switched him over the summer (I work in education) to another center based place. I also like that one, and when we added dd it was still okay, but I was not as pleased as I'd been when ds was a baby. We took dd out over the summer (we allowed ds to stay in an a.m. program 3 days weekly) and when she went back as a one-year-old there were two new teachers who neglected her terribly. At that point we asked the director for permission to offer one of ds' teachers (and our regular babysitter) a job as our nanny and she agreed (dd had surgery early last summer and all other staff members were quite attached to and worried about her). The kids love nanny and she's very attentive to them, but she's sloppy and lackadaisical about food and cleanliness. Both those things grate on my nerves. She also tends to use my hairbrushes, hairspray, etc., and I find that annoying. But the kids are very happy and they're healthier than they had been previously and best of all, dd can sleep in to her heart's content because she doesn't have to leave the house at the crack of dawn anymore (ds is up anyway). So..... I think all options have pros and cons and the trick is to find what works best for you. We'll return to a center based care probably when ds heads to kindergarten and dd is closer to 3.5 years.

[sadie_sabot]

Just started working again. dd is 3 months. We got a nanny--actually she's the adult daughter of our doula. I realy wanted someone who would be entirey focused on dd. when she is a bit older, probably we'll find a day care or something less exensive, since the nanny just slightly over half of what i do, so it's just barely worth it for me to work. but since me not working isn't an option...

so we really just started, but dd seems to like it--she's happy and tired when I come home, and the nanny takes her for long alks everyday.

Expensive, but worth it to have total control!

[Foobar]

We have a group day care center. I love it!
They are very attentive, they are great to all of the kids and they discuss concerns with us. When dd caught the Norwalk virus, they called us up and let us know. Turns out DH also had it (and then I got it) so we don't think she got it from there, but even if she did, she was ok.

Yesterday when we picked her up she was SO happy! She was smiling at all of the staff and trying to play with other kids (she's only 6 months old).

We go there 3 days a week and she's home with me the other 2 days.

Go with what YOU are comfortable with. I visited several centers and hung out with the staff for a half hour or so while I was preg. See if you can bring you child if you visit a center so you can see if he/she likes it.

Also, if your child doesn't like it, consider switching.

Good luck! It's a hard thing to find child care these days!

[mirlee]

Sam has been in a group daycare since he was 8 weeks old. I was unable to stay home any longer and dh was barely able to take our delivery day off.

Sam did well at the first center. The caregiver always worked with him and held him. He didn't like to take bottles, so she would feed him as much as she could get him to take and would do this all day long. She didn't stop until he decided he had had enough. While the place was not perfect, it had some horrible flaws, their baby care was very good. He did well there.

We are now at our second center and this place is awesome. It is very structured, but not so structured that the kids don't get to run around and play on their own. There are two nice chunks of time each day for them to do this. They do art projects everyday, have a monthly calendar that has themes for each week and the activities that they will focus on listed on each day. Everyday has something that involves colors, numbers, music. They go outside everyday that it is possible. Even in the snow. During really nice days in the Summer they will even eat their lunch outside. There are four play areas so the kids can get out and run like maniacs. Each one has age appropriate play equipment. I wouldn't say it is an AP place, but they tend to respond to the needs of the child as much as they can. I used to see one of Sam's former teachers cuddled up with kids in her care because that is the way they all wanted to sleep. With her, on her, around her. Even Sam's teacher now, said that the other day she had to cuddle with him because he was having a tired day and wanted snuggles to fall asleep.

Pick the center with care. Don't schedule a visit. Just drop in. If they have a problem with you just dropping in, you don't want to be there. Make sure they make attempts to adhere to a safe student/teacher ratio. Check to make sure it is clean. Don't be afraid to ask their policies about cleaning up at the end of the day. Ask about their sick child policy. Look around to see the interaction between children and their teachers. What do the rooms look like? Is there art on the walls? Do they have sinks in the rooms?

Good luck. It is a tough decision, but if you find the right place, it can be beneficial for both of you.

[Liz]

I went back to work part-time when DS was 6 months old. I looked at day care centres in our area but I didn't feel they were right for a young baby - too stimulating with all the older kids running around and playing. And while they claim they let the babies set their own schedules, I can't see how that is possible with say 10 babies to take care of - although they must have one care giver for every 3 babies. I thought they were great for older kids but not for babies - IMO.

So next I looked at licensed home child care. I found an agency that works in my area. They match you with a homecare provider close by. Our Maria (as DS calls her because there are so many Maria's around here) is a mother of 5 grown children and has been with this agency for 10 years. She is Portuguese and her English is not perfect but she is very warm and loving, that come through loud and clear. When we first started she had one 3 yr old girl full time, her 5 yr old brother for 1/2 the day and another 2 yr. old a couple of days a week. DS always got his 2 naps a day but also went to the park or library or whatever with the older kids. The agency tried to place another baby with her but I complained and they moved him. I personally think one baby should be the limit. I now work full time from home and he is almost 3 years old. Now there is a little girl his age at Maria's and they are great friends. I'm sure Maria doesn't even know what AP is but she is a responsive caregiver, she is very patient, she likes to play, she's a master of Gentle Discipline (very consistent with her expectations so they know what they can and cannot do), and a pretty good cook from the smell of their lunches! Oh and she used to nap with him sometimes!

I think it's okay if the person does not follow your parenting style to the letter. Some things are non-negotiable like no spanking or no CIO but small differences like white bread over whole wheat I can live with because she is so great in other areas. I think it's important that you not change caregivers allot so really try to pick the right one in the first place and then really try to work through any differences that may come up. I know this is an overwhelming task for you (I was SO stressed out when I was looking for childcare!) but take it slow, give yourself time to adjust to the idea and the right place or person will come to you.

Good luck!

[delighted.mama]

Before having dd we originally had her signed up to go to a daycare near my work. But, after she was born, we weren't happy with the idea of her being in daycare for a number of reasons.... missing out on one-one-one time, travelling with me to and from daycare; being there during cold/flu season, etc, etc. It's amazing how your attitude changes after having a baby.

I had to return to work when dd was 3 months old and my MIL watched her M-TH and dh was home on Fridays. This worked for 2 months, but MIL couldn't commit to more than 2 months as she doesn't live near us.

Anyway, we decided to go with an in-home nanny, who comes to our house 5 days a week. It's expensive, but only a little more than the daycare would have been. We found a wonderful woman, who was totally AP, who nurtured dd wonderfully. She found out she was prego shortly after coming to be with us and I think that made a huge difference in her attitude toward dd. I couldn't have asked for a better person. In fact, I was a little jealous at times because she was so competent and dd was so well cared for by her. DH also started his own home based business at that time, so he was able to be home a lot to make sure things were going well. Since dd was at home, I was able to run home during lunch every day and nurse her.

The situation, although hectic, turned out pretty good. When nanny #1 left to have her baby, she helped to find us another nanny, a friend of hers. Nanny #2 is very loving and nurturing, but she isn't as great as the first one. I think that we bonded with the first one so well because she was our age and had a lot of the same parenting philosophies as we did. Nanny #2 is older, more of a grandmotherly type. She isn't as neat or as organized as Nanny #2, but, she loves dd and knows how to really engage her in fun activities. They go to the library, play groups, parks ad walks together. All in all, I like for dd to have that one-on-one time that she should be having with one of her parents. If we are not availabe, this is the next best option, with the exception of a close relative or friend watching her. When she turns 2, there is an on-site daycare in my building, and we will enroll her at least part-time there.

sorry this message is so long....got carried away!

Libby

Happy parenting!!

[delighted.mama]

Squeekersmansmom, I got so carried away relating my story that I never actually got to your childcare issue! Sorry! If your are going to be gone for only about 10 hours a week, I would say to get an in-home provider OR, find an in-home daycare. Kids don't really learn how to socialize until about 2 1/2, so you don't need to worry about your ds socializing yet. All the research indicates that the more one-on-one time kids get in the first three years of life, the better off they are. This can be accomplished either through a nanny, in-home daycare or a daycare center, depending on what their infant-to-provider ration is. If I was you, I'd try to find someone to come to your home./ That way,your son's routine won't be disturbed, even though you aren't home. If you want him to be around other kids, your provider can take him to a park or to a local playgroup. If in home care is too expensive, then the next best option is a small, nurturing home environment in someone else's home. Like one of the previous posters said, make sure that they don't have too many infants. The ratio shouldn't be more than 3 kids per provider either. The third alternative, since you won't be gone for long periods of time, is to go to a commercial daycare center. Again, make sure that the ration is low. Most states allow a 4:1 ratio, which IMO, is way too high. Think about yourself watching 4 babies, the same age, and trying to give them the attention they need. Whatever you decide to do, good luck! I know it is a hard decision and it is one of the scariest....to entrust your precious baby to someone else!! But, if you are careful and go with your instincts, you should be fine. Again, I stress that you should totally listen to your instincts. They wil serve you better than anything someone writes down on paper. Also, watch your baby...is he happy, content,,thriving, or is he overly clingly, whiny, sad....I'm sure you will make the right choice for you and your ds!
Good Luck!!





Libby













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[lilyka]

We have a teenager that comes in and watches the girls. Fortunately I own the business and can work when my prefect sitter's schedule permits She really is great and if for dsome reason she doens't come when my children expect it is mutany around here. My children are 2 and 6. Until baby is 6 months old she will just come to work with me (and on any days i don't expect to be too busy until she is mobile - it is a bike shop so it gets pretty dangerous. Any way ,y sitter is excellent. Wew have know her for a long time and have ben waiting for her to get old enough for this. The girl we used last year sucked but the kids didn't seem to mind (of course not she constantly filled them up with sugar : ) and nobody got hurt. I guess I should point out I only work summers and thenonly about 10-20 hours a week. If it was full time arrangements i would definitely do something different.

[teachma]

My son has been going to the same home day care since he was 4.5 months old. So, it's been just a little over 2 years. We are all very satisfied with our arrangement, and we feel fortunate! There are 2 women who take care of the children (40 kids enrolled in all, but all of them part-time) and ds has been raised around children from his age on up to 12 years old. Some hours of the day, he's the only one there, and they take shopping trips, which he totally loves. They really do function as a family- the big guys watch out for the little ones and treat them as important. I like that there are 2 women (who, actually, have been in that business together for 25 years!) because I know care providers can become tired after a long day, and it's great that they get to relieve each other. The last thing I would want is a burned out care provider who was all alone to be taking care of my son. (I know- my threshold for burn-out is pretty low!) I am more comfortable with care outside of my home rather than a nanny because I want to be the only adult (along with dhh) who makes rules in my house. I think it helps to eliminate confusion about what is acceptable. And I can imagine it being next to impossible to find anopther person just like me! If my child care provider wants to let my son have a treat I do not particularly love him having, that's fine with me because it's in her home. If he ever asks me for that treat, then I have the option of reminding ds, "Well, when you're with C. in her house, it's fine because she says so, but I don't keep those treats in our house." This way he's not completely deprived and doesn't grow up with a whole list of items he was totally forbidden (like many I know). I'm glad my care provider is different from me and with slightly different values- I think it's great exposure for my son!!

[squeakermansmom]

thanks for all the input - i think i'm going between an in-home nanny vs. an in-home daycare. What's the going hourly rate for a very part-time nanny? And where do you find them?

[Liz]

I think the rate totally depends on your location. We pay $30 ($20US) a day for our in-home child care provider. Since it's through an agency they get a cut. I really don't know what she ends up with. I have heard that nannies get $8-10 an hour ($5-7US). We live downtown in a big city so I expect these rates are high.

I have a friend who switched from an outside homecare giver to a nanny and she had some interesting observations. She said it was great in the morning because she didn't have to rush around getting them out the door on time (I'm sure she fed and clothed them - you can't leave everything to the nanny). But she also said the kids took over her house. Because they are home everyday their stuff just naturally spread even further and she found it a little over whelming. Also because the kids were at home most of the day 5 days a week, they were anxious to get out of the house on weekends and in the evening. They got bored of their own toys, environment, etc. So the parents just wanted to stay home and veg. on weekends but the kids had to get out. Just some things I'd never thought about before.

[hulamama]

We have our dd in a daycare for infants thru age 2.5 or so (potty-training). There are about 10 kids there--most of them part time and so not all there at one time. Four women work there and it is very nice and cozy. It is for the teachers and staff members' kids for dh's school district. They keep the cost low for us, but even if it was expensive, I know that I would fight tooth and nail to have her stay there. They are very AP oriented and just all around wonderful. We feel so lucky every day.....she loves it and they love her. It is a really wonderful place.

I had dd in an in-home daycare until she was about 6 mos. old and there were things there that I couldn't pinpoint what it was but it wasn't "a fit." The biggest thing would be her support of bfing...she wasn't supportive at all (as time would tell) and when that started happening, dh and I looked into our current place, hoping to be on the waiting list, and there just so happened to be a magical opening that week....it was fate. Haven't looked back since.