Spark, Michelle, Moms with older kids...

[spiralmg]

Spark, Michelle, Moms with older kids...please can you tell me how you are dealing with naps for the older kids. I am STRUGGLING mightily with this. Daniel is just over 2.5 now. He needs a nap (really, he is not at the point of giving up the nap yet although I know that is common)....but he is fighting it everytime. It is miserable trying to get him to go to sleep.

I have been resorting again to just putting him in the stroller. He will fall asleep after just two blocks of walking. But lately he has been fighting fighting fighting even going in the stroller because he knows it means a nap. I feel like a mean mom forcing him into it. It's awful. But if he doesn't nap, the rest of the day is just frickin miserable and extremely stressful for me because he is so cranky and naughty. Once he naps, he's fine.

I would rather get him to nap in his bed, but now he fights that too. If I have enough time and someone to hold the baby, I can sometimes get him down b y reading books and lying with him. But on my own, it is impossible because the baby inevitably wakes up.

He does not have his own room or any way to close him into a room. At night he sleeps with us.

I posted a similar question awhile back in the Toddler forum but didn't get any useful suggestions (other than "maybe he is outgrowing his nap" - which is not true yet). So now it is getting bad again and I thought I would ask my favorite group, the DDC.

HELP!

[kofduke]

Ack, comp. just ate my post!

I lie down on MY bed with Aaron. We read 1-2 books and then I lie on my side to nurse Luke (the other side from Aaron), he'll fiddle with my hair and fall asleep. If I then get up he'll sleep for 45 minutes or so, if I lie there and read usually an hour or more. He still really needs his nap too but fights it also!

[IncaMama]

yyyyyeah. um...it sucks. i just got back from a drive in the car, which i took for the sole purpose of getting him to sleep. heehee. i hadn't done that in a while though, actually. we have three types of days:

1. he wakes up early (like 6am) and then NEEDS a nap or he'll be a demon by 4pm and will crash at around 4:30 and be up until midnight. on these days, i do one of a few things: a) pray that my mom's coming over that day so she can stay with ava while i go upstairs to our bed to try to get him to sleep...b) if ava's sleeping i can get him down on the couch with the lights off (sometimes) c) drive around like today - i used to come right back and transfer him to bed but now i just keep driving around until he wakes up again

2. he wakes up later, like 8am (hasn't happened for a while), in which case i fight like hell to keep him awake all day and hope he goes to bed early (7:30ish). this day is inevitably followed by a #1 day

3. he wakes up in the middle (7 or 7:30): fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge. LOL this is the day that sucks the most. he won't be ready for an early nap (noon-2) but won't make it all the way to 7:30 or 8pm. that means he'll sleep at around 2 or 3 and be up until midnight.

so...yeah...it sucks. do they make double-sided monitors? two-way, i mean? that would help me...i could have ava in another room while getting rowan down but still hear her.

(edited because i can't count LOL)

[spiralmg]

I want my naps to be like Kristin's, but OMG Michelle, our naps and days sound just like yours. We are not getting to bed any earlier than 11 most nights, after an entire bedtime routine AND some sort of nap, usually. IF one of his babysitters can get him into his bed, he will fall asleep Kristin-style - but NOT for ME. :

I used to nurse DS to sleep, but am not seriously doing tandem nursing like I thought I might - if I did that he might lie down with me...I've tried the reading books thing, but as soon as he realizes it is naptime, he starts fighting.

He is sleeping in his stroller right now, probably sweltering in a sweater, jacket and snowboots - but the baby is Didymos-ed to me and I can't see how I can get him out of there without waking one or both up...

Anybody else, please keep the stories and thoughts coming. There has to be a better way. I am going crazy!!!

[IncaMama]

lol yeah ava refuses to lie down next to me to nurse. luke is also and extremely mellow baby it seems whereas ava is NOT at all. luke was awake for our entire playdate and didn't make a peep! ava was awake for about 20 minutes of it and fussed for all of 'em. LOL!!! there is no way she'd just lie there while i get rowan down for a nap. and her cries would keep him from falling asleep for sure.

i'm just goin with the flow.

[StarCat]

josie hasn't been very good at taking naps since the baby. Usually she falls asleep on the way home from somewhere and will stay asleep when I bring her in. If we aren't coming home from somewhere then....well...i try to find somewhere to go so I can drive home slowly and get her to fallasleep. If we do happen to be at home- I try to nurse Sada and if she falls asleep put her in the swing and then go lay down with Josie until she falls asleep and then usually I start to drift off and Sada wakes up. But sometimes I am able to sleep a little bit, too. And other times I wake up and I get some stuff done around the house.

[darkpear]

:

[Panthira]

Hmmn.. I co-slept with my 2 yr old until he was a little over a year, and then he got a crib. He slept better and so did we. He's a really light sleeper and everything and anything will wake him up and he'll toss and turn. Anyway, we got him a big boy bed a couple of months ago, and some of the time he sleeps in that for naps.
Owen MUST get his nap everyday or he goes into unconsolable crying rages and can't function. I take him upstairs for his nap between 3-3:30 everyday (unless we're out but I try to get home for naptime). He knows this routine very well, and though he's tried to fight it, I will talk gently to him about how he needs his naps. I don't have time to lay down with him because this is the time I'm using on my business, and working at home. He does get to choose where he'd rather sleep - the crib or his bed. If he chooses his bed, which believe it or not he only does about 1/4 of the time, he knows he has to stay in his room and sleep.
He was really fighting his nap breifly right after the baby was born. I put my DD's radio in his room with some soothing music. He loved it so much, but he still fought his nap until I told him the music seemed to be keeping him awake so I was going to have to turn it off so he could sleep. I never have to fight him now, after one time of doing this. I don't consider this a punishment and I don't threaten him, I think it's really a fact that if it doesn't help him fall asleep then it's not working. So yeah... I'm very distracted right now (as usual), but music. That's been the key to getting him to sleep. That and routine.

[IncaMama]

wow. well, that would be fantastic...what Owen does. Rowan would *never* do that at this point. but maybe we'll start working toward that again (tried before).

[MamaTaraX]

Mind if I jump in? You won't dig my reply much though: With the arrival of the baby came the departure of my toddler's naps. It's been a bummer. I wish I had a better answer. HIs sleep schedule is totally funky since his baby brother's arrivfal too. If he gets up earlyenough though, we can gethim to nap. I lay down with him or Daddy walks with him (carries him) and that works. IF he doesn't get up super early though, there is no napping.

Namaste, Tara (yeah, I know, I"m a Jan mom but I loved your DDC so much I felt like posting *grin*)

[spiralmg]

Hi Tara - nice to see you around here again!

Well today I had a helper and she got him to sleep no problem. Of course, they were out on a walk and he was in his stroller. She said "oh you look tired, close your eyes" - and doggone it, he did. He would NEVER make it that easy for me...

He really isn't ready to give up his naps. And when he has had one he becomes magically sweet tempered again. If I had a nap maybe I would sweet tempered too and not mind when he isn't.

[Thursday Girl]

jewely doesn't usually take a nap, but she HAS to have quiet time.i put her in the room and she can play quietly or read, sometimes she will lay down by herself wrap her blanket around her and fall asleep. NOT VERY OFTEN. i tell her she needs a nap or quiet time b/c it makes her happier in the evenings. i point ouyt the diffrences between how she feels when she is tired and when she is well rested.(granted this doesn't always work) i'm sad b/c if josephine is napping jewely won't lay down with us and i miss holding her though.

tara i always love to see your posts!!

courtney

[IncaMama]

ok i really love my newest strategy. i go for a nice loooong drive. it relaxes me, i go look at nice houses and neighborhoods, and both kids sleep for about an hour. well, ava sleep for longer but rowan averages about 1-1.5hrs. it's awesome

[hottmama]

Julian doesn't nap anymore (well, rarely). He does NEED to nurse for a while in the afternoon- he's replaced napping with a 20 minute nursing recharge.