Help! tired and GRUMPY

[mamajama]

I wrote another post about this but no one responded. I'm really hoping someone has some advice. It's 6 am and I've already been up for an hour and a half. My 3 yr old comes into my room and starts throwing fits. Telling me to lie a particular way, move the baby and when I don't comply (which it's impossible to as I am not a contortionist) He has a temper tantrum or purposely wakes up the baby. Baby was sleeping soundly so I had to try to nurse him back to sleep even though he wasn't hungry (meanwhile 3 yr old has fallen back asleep) so baby is uncomfortably full and beginning to fuss and is now wide awake and I am furious and tired. I can't believe how tired I feel. Thanks for letting me vent

[ohiomama]

I'm sorry mamajama that sounds miserable. I don't know if you were looking for advice or just for someone to vent to but I'll throw my advice in and you can just disregard it if you weren't looking for any. I was wondering if it would help if you went and brought your 3 yr old into your room before he comes in all grumpy. Maybe try going and getting him out of his bed around 4 or 4:30 or something while the baby is sleeping soundly and snuggiling with him while you sleep so he won't wake up so early.
Hopefully you get a nap today.

[mamajama]

Thanks ohiomama, I don't know maybe this is unrealistic, but I really want ds to sleep in his own bed all night. I'm sleep deprived and so I don't know if that is expecting too much. It seems like it's just habit for him to wake up and come to my bed and the time's are always different...usually between 1:30 and 4:30. Sometimes it's fine, he just snuggles in and falls asleep but every three nights or so (sometimes more often) we have the eruptions. While he is sleeping in his bed I am SOUND asleep as it is only for a few short hours so waking up before he does seems impossible.: I guess I'm just generally burnt out and I feel I need just some time to myself even it is in the middle of the night. Right now it feels like I have NO downtime 24/7. I'm sorry this sounds so negative but I'm really having a hard time.

[DaryLLL]

Can you talk over these issues with your big boy during the day and ask him to help you come up with a workable solution? sounds like it isn't a sleep issue as much as a jealousy issue with the baby? if the baby is new, maybe the adjustment to his own room was premature and he feels left out? If he wakes and is waiking the baby, can you go back to his room with him and lie down, while the baby stays asleep in the big bed with dad?

Do you have a regular time to spend with just him? Even if it is a half an hour at the gorcery store twice a week or so, while your partner has the baby. Does the baby nap well? Are you using that time to play with and bond with the new big brother?

Try reading How to Talk so Kids Will Listen

and

Siblings Without Rivalry, both by Faber and Mazlish

[mamajama]

Thanks Darylll for your response!
Unfortunately daddy is a bum and isn't around much these days which is also a contributing factor, I'm sure. Big brother has been sleeping in his own bed for about a year before his little brother was born four months ago. It's pretty much just me and the boys 24/7. Baby doesn't nap really unless he is in contact with me so up until recently we've all been napping together. I've been kind of phasing out big bros naps with some minor success. At least he goes down easier at bedtime. The night I wrote this post was an especially bad one and I have had talks with myself during the day to the affect that I should try to accept that big brother still needs to be babied a bit too sometimes even if it is at 4 in the morning. I will get the siblings book you recomended. I already have "How to talk..." One day I will sleep again...right? Thanks again for your words, Darrylll, it's nice to know I'm not completely alone all the time and it's so kind of everyone to lend an ear.