New here... Some questions

[Candice2boys]

Hello I am Candice 29 Married to Aaron 33 and mom to Logan 4 , Theron 2, and #3 coming July 2006! We are a cding, gding, bfing, extended bfing, cosleeping, babywearing, aping family

I have 1 1/2 years of Early Childhood Education under my belt so to speak. We I guess sort of unschool withthe kids already, and have been before we even knew we were doing it. My questions are:
How do I deal with family members who just don't understand our desire to keep our children out of the school system?
My mom keeps telling me how when the 3rd baby gets here I will be looking forward to get Logan in Kindergarten and out of my hair. It bothers me, and I tell her that other people are able to homeschool with 3 little ones at home. She then tells me yes but those kids are not your own. Logan is a "high needs" child and in many peoples eyes is very difficult. I being his mother for 4 1/2 years am just fine taking care of him. I think it all stems from when she watches them she has a really hard time taking care of both because Logan is a lot "work".
Anyway what can I say to naysayers? One of the reason we want to HS Logan is because we don't think school will do him anygood and he'd be miserable. I think he'd be bored out of his mind since he already knows most of what they'd teach in K anyway.

I think I just need more confidence and to assert myself in what I believe is best for our children. Help and advice is much appreciated!

Candice

[simple living mama]

Welcome Candice. One of the best way's I got my in-laws off my back was to lend them a book by the Colfaxes called Homeschooling for Excellence. It's really a good book and what seems to resonate with the worried parents is that most the boys ended up at Harvard.

Now, I couldn't give a rat's a## if my kids go to Harvard but it seemed to ease the parents and that's what my aim was. My aim is to have kids that love to learn and are happy. Where they end up will fall in to place as long as their passions are strong.

Get on this website and do some good reading and find the posts where this has been discussed. You will find posters that have passed on good articles to give to their doubting in-laws and make some copies for your self to pass on.

Lillian has a ton of good information http://www.besthomeschooling.org/ she has collected for new homeschoolers. (unschoolers) and also the Natural Child Project http://www.naturalchild.com/articles/learning.html has a whole section on homeschooling articles I think you will find very helpful. It's a drag that you are getting this from mom. Stick with your beliefs and heart when it comes to your beautiful boy.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by Candice2boys

My questions are:
How do I deal with family members who just don't understand our desire to keep our children out of the school system?
My mom keeps telling me how when the 3rd baby gets here I will be looking forward to get Logan in Kindergarten and out of my hair.

Sharing books or websites or magazines etc. which explain the positives of homeschooling could be helpful, if the person is open to that. But, I've found that some people don't want to understand, or, even after having it explained to them, still feel that school is a better choice. In those cases, I just don't allow myself to enter into discussion or debate about our choices.

To the comment about looking forward to getting your son "out of your hair." I'd probably respond with, "I doubt it." or "I guess time will tell." or "I enjoy having him around." or even just, "Hmmmmmm" and then change the subject. I've often used, "This is what's best for us." or "We're happy doing things this way." to general disapproval of hsing, if I'm not up for debate or if it's a stranger offering their .02.

[oceanbaby]

Ds1 started preschool when ds2 was a couple of months old. Everyone told me the same thing- you'll need the break, you need one on one time with the baby, blah blah blah. This is NOT why we enrolled him (that's another story), but it was the focus of everyone's response to it.

Well, the days that ds1 went to preschool were the hardest days of our week by far! Having to be on a dropoff and pickup schedule (well, pickup since we could arrive whenever we wanted to) was stressful with ds2 napping. Having put ds2 into the car twice a day whether I wanted to or not was stressful. And to be honest, ds2 was happier when ds1 was home. Ds1 provided wonderful entertainment and distraction, and ds2 was less fussy. Not to mention that ds1 picked up every cold that went through the place and then passed it on to me and baby. That sucked. There was nothing about it that made my life any easier.

[Tyleah]

My mom said the same thing about my son as he neared K age. She said, "We mothers just looked so forward to sending all of you off to school." Truthfully, I can see her point! I do have days when I think it would be nice to get everyone ready to go to a place where they are loved, their interests were allowed to be explored freely, conflict with others was solved by themselves with words or with caring adults to help them use words, art was about the process - not some ditto project, music was fun, movement was free, etc.... This is not offered in my community!!! But, I try for it in my home and with like-minded home learners in my community.

So, don't let her get you down, you know what you want for your kids and I think it is easy to get caught up in wanting someone else to take care of their education b/c it seems so overwhelming and such a wonderful break. This will sound harsh, but I think my mom and her buddies who were so happy to get us out of the house missed out in some of the most wonderful times they could have had with us. I will not tell her this, but I will enjoy the opportunity I have with my children as long as they want to learn at home and our community. My son is very very active, loves to run, bounce, ride bikes, etc... He also is a quick learner, I too, think he would be bored out of his mind and not able to move enough in a school setting. Why kill the love of learning by forcing them to repeat what they already know b/c they teach to some mythical middle ground and force them to sit so much. DS learned to count by jumping on a trampoline, shouting the numbers as loud as he could each time he bounced. He loves to jump count! I don't think this is standard practice in my local school!

Tell your mom you hear her, and yes a break would be nice, but you love your kids and this is what you want for them and you need her to be supportive. And come here often, b/c my kids, these boards, and my homeschool groups are what keeps me going!

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by simple living mama

One of the best way's I got my in-laws off my back was to lend them a book by the Colfaxes called Homeschooling for Excellence. It's really a good book and what seems to resonate with the worried parents is that most the boys ended up at Harvard.

I handed a copy of that same book to both of the grammas when we were about to start, and neither of them ever questioned me in any way about our choice. Each of them later made one brief comment like, "Well, that's really interesting - I guess you could teach him yourself, couldn't you..." That was it . When our son got to be college age, one of them did ask periodic questions about when he was going to go to college. She's quite relieved now that he's in college. - Lillian