Originally Posted by twins10705
Well, actually, I don't know anyone in this city, state or area of the country. We moved here last February never intending on having kids so soon...all I did was work work work in the beginning until I was put on bedrest around week 18 of my pregnancy. It was a long, lonely time on bedrest knowing absolutely on one. There was no one to even run to the store for me, so I had no choice but to "violate" bedrest when I ran out of food -- I can't help but wonder if that contributed to my PTL. Then the NICU time...I was also very alone. Now, here with my babies in this 400 sq ft apartment, we are still alone and...I don't think that's going to change. I'm not asking for pity or anything....I've done it alone this whole time now that the babies are sleeping a lot more at night and letting me sleep too it is so much better. Several weeks ago, I didn't know if I was going to make it...no sleep at all I thought I was literally losing my mind. There were times I had to put the babies down and just curl up in a corner for a little while. My parents bought me a twin stroller and had it shipped to me -- it has been a life saver...I walk 8 to 10 miles per day now with that thing...starting to lose a little of the pregnancy weight finally I believe, so things are looking up for me. I hope to be moving out of this studio and into a larger apartment soon. I am married -- but he is never here...he is constantly out or working..whenever he does come home, he immediately puts in earplugs and sleeps until he has to leave again. That's another issue that it's probably best I don't get into..I've actually done plenty of venting about that on the PPD forum so I'll save it for there. At least he puts money into the account to pay the bills -- single women don't always have that luxury.
I do appreciate the advice though -- I know my situation is not one that one would generally assume.
Amanda, I know it is hard to "think outside the box" when just trying to survive day to day, but there are groups who may be willing and able to help. Is there a senior citizen center? Often seniors enjoy helping with babies and MOT can always use extra arms through a day. Are there any junior high schools or churches in your area that have youth groups? Often young teens make interested and very good mother helpers. If a church's young teens are working toward confirmation or some such "adult entry" ritual they often have to fulfill service projects. Helping a mother with one baby may not qualify but helping someone new to the community with two babies often does. (If you belong to a church, often they have meal makers that drop off meals to parishioners in need. And, YES, you ARE in need right now.)
Re: You and your babies need your husband/their father -- both physically and emotionally. (He sounds as if he may be experiencing a PPD too.) Have you spoken to your doctor about possible PPD? Have you considered counseling? (Don't say you can't afford it; local mental health centers often can work out a sliding scale. And it may be that you can't afford not to.) PPD does not just affect one person in a family; it literally affects every member. Please don't let it go if you think this is an issue. Everyone benefits when you take care of yourself, too.
Re: "violate" bedrest -- let go of guilt there. Sounds as if you did your absolute best. And the scientific evidence on the benefits of strict bed rest during pregnancy is rather weak, anyway. It's not preventive; it's last ditch...