Books on Barfing???

[Laggie]

Ok, this is a bizarre question. But since an episode with a stomach bug last month, DD (age 7) has developed what I consider to be an abnormal fear of throwing up. Now, I know that nobody likes barfing, and some people hate it more than others, but to her it is like the worst thing ever. She also is unconvinced that it is not a sign of impending death...

Well, maybe I am exagerrating slightly. But, while she was complaining of an upset stomach, the suggestion that maybe if she did puke she might feel better was enough to cause screaming, crying, wailing etc. And this fear of throwing up has persisted - it enters our conversations regularly.

So, I am wondering if anybody has come across any kids' books (or videos) that might have somebody throwing up in them, but not as a traumatic thing, more as a silly thing... you know, like Walter the Farting Dog? I know it's a long shot... but not really something I can Google...

[USAmma]

Vomiting is scary!

The only one I can think might have vomiting in the subject in a friendly way is books by the author of "Everyone Poops" and "The Gas we Pass". I think he (or she) wrote one about digestion that may contain vomiting.

My dd is very curious about the human body and functions, esp. vomiting and GI function since her sister has reflux and a stomach tube. There are a lot of children's books about germs, viruses and such that show how the body fights infections and diseases. She just had a bad stomach flu last month and I got those books for her from the library. Some showed cartoon white blood cells attacking cartoon germs. She felt better understanding what was going on her body, how vomiting was a good thing because it was the body's way of trying to get the germs out. She also was more willing to drink water and take care of herself because it helped her body fight the germs.

[amj'smommy]

I found this while doing a search on Amazon.http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/076...books&n=283155 We don't have this particular book but we do have "Grossology and You" (one of the ones they suggest for these topics ) My kids enjoy these type of books but they do tend to be of a "tounge in cheek" approach.

[CrazyCatLady]

Not to be a bummer. But I'm glad you're trying to fix this now. That's about the age where most emetaphobics start their phobias (usually from a traumatic event like a tummy bug). It's a pain to have and to live with someone who is emetaphobic. Plus it's almost impossible to cure and can lead to things like anorexia and a fear of leaving the house. So if I were you, I'd try books and if that doesn't work maybe even consider counseling. I'm so glad that you're trying to help her and not ridicule her like so many other parents would. You must be a great mommy.

[freestyler]

I would also give it less attention and ignore it if she keeps talking about it. Just state matter-of-factly "Vomiting cannot hurt you. It is the body's way of making itself healthy again." And let her work out her own emotions. Kids this young will do ANYTHING to get undue attention! It reminds me of the kids who are "afraid/terrified" of dogs. A dog goes by and the child cowers and shakes in fright, and mommy has to soothe/pet/calm/attend to the child, when a more appropriate response would be a calm, "The dog won't hurt you. Lots of little boys and girls are afraid of dogs. When you're older you will get over your fear." And go about your business calmly!

I'm not saying she isn't truly afraid of vomiting, but the more attention it gets her, the more "afraid" she will become. I'm sure she gets plenty of attention all the time, it isn't about needing more attention, it is more about WANTING more attention and finding strange new ways to get it. What I would NOT do is go and feed the phobia by focusing on it with books, videos, you name it. Ignore it. If her audience dries up so will the phobia.

By the way, I speak from experience on this one! My 3-yr-old was trying to cultivate a huge phobia about dogs, and we ignored it and treated it matter-of-factly. It has gone away. She would scream and start shaking whenever a dog (even postage stamp size!) went by. We did not attend to this fear except by letting her hop into our laps, but otherwise did not remark or comment at all. She has given it up. It was kinda annoying, but I figured it would be short-lived if we didn't fan the flames, so to speak.

[Laggie]

Thanks, I didn't think of looking on Amazon. Some of those books are available at my local library - I'm going to check them out. I'm not sure if they will work, though, they might just accentuate it for her?

I was hoping for something more fictional. But she is very interested in the body and health, so I will give the Grossology books, and the Oh Yuck... one a try.

[mommytolittlelilly]

Your daughter sounds a lot like me. I have an *extreme* aversion to it to this day, always have for as long as I can remember. I will go to great lengths to avoid throwing up, and I would much rather sit around feeling nauseous for hours and hours than going through one throw-up session! It was actually a very significant reason (although certainly not the only reason) for me to press on with a drug-free birth. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I don't think she necessarily needs counseling or anything like that, she's just has a sensitivity to something that is, let's face it, incredibly gross and unpleasant to go through. Books are a cool idea, don't have any specific recommendations.

[CrazyCatLady]

I don't think she necessarily needs counseling or anything like that

I meant only if the fear persisted for a long time and didn't seem to improve any. I didn't mean take her tommorow or anything. Chances are that she's just a kid going through a phase or realizing that throwing up sucks. Or maybe she does just need some extra attention for what ever reason. But if by some small chance it starts looking like a real phobia, maybe doing something now could prevent a lifetime of grief that many end up going through. Either way, good luck.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I'm an emetaphobe. I don't have any other phobias. Fortunately I rarely rarely rarely get sick. Even if your daughter doesn't get over this particular fear, she can still go on to live a normal, happy life. In fact, there are benefits to having this type of phobia... for one thing, when she's older its unlikely she'll ever get drunk enough to have a hangover out of fear of vomiting.

I think its really great that you are working on it with her, though.

[Strong Mama]

I am an emet. I have been since aged 10. I want to say first off , it is so great you are such a caring mommy about this. My parents made fun of me when I ran away from people puking, put ear plugs in my ears, and even once slept outside when my sister was puking. Emets do go on to live lives, have children, etc..but there is no cure and it sucks big time. I rarely get sick too, but I suffered severe hyperemisis gravadarium during 2 pregnancies and that sorta cured me..plus having children that puke cured me..during high school it sucked. I did not attend any trips becauase I was scared of being away from home and puking. I never drank, still dont because of the puking. My weight was always low due to only eating *safe* foods, no meat, no junk, no milk, nothing that could be contaminated. I had panic attacks in high school being blocked out where there were no exits to escape from...basically emets have a limited life of no flying, no buses, no car rides, no boat ride, no concerts, no proms, etc etc..due to being afraid of vomiting or others vomiting or both. I think if my parents would have been more caring to me I may not have been so bad..but they made fun of me and even put me in a mental institute at 16 because I had the flu and threw up and I freaked out majorly because of it. I didnt know I was an emet until years and years later on. Please keep doing what you are doing and talk to her about her fears, they are real. She may develop *symptoms* that are real to her..I frequently had stomachaches, nausea and headaches from the worrying. Good luck

[SummerLover]

Is this your step-daughter that you wrote about in the veggie thread? If so, I'm sorry she's still having such a rough time of it. Is there a counselor at school that she could talk with? It sounds like she is dealing with a lot right now.

Of course if this isn't the same little girl, I apologize!

Either way, I think it's great that you're looking for books for her.

[kchoffmann]

I just wanted to counter what was said here a few times to say that it IS curable. Phobias are extremely curable in fact. Treatment is systematic desensitization, which is basically just gradual exposure. It's important actually that you not shield her too much because the more the anxiety is reinforced, the worse it will get.

For the record, I'm both a therapist and an emetaphobe. I too will avoid puking at all costs and will often avoid crowds where there is a likely possibilty of someone getting sick (amusement parks, concerts, etc.) But I used to be much worse. I too used to get nausea and tummy aches as a teen (these are really just anxiety reactions), and I was much more afraid of going certain places. I wound up marrying a puker, someone who gets tummy sick A LOT, so that's effectively provided some desensitization. I try to force myself to watch people throw up in movies. I also try not to act freaked out when DS has thrown up (I'm really bad at this though, which I would say is the worst effect of my phobia.)

All that said, your idea to show her a book about it is a great one - it's a part of the desensitization process. Just keep talking to her about it and being empathetic, but don't reinforce her fears.

[Strong Mama]

Hi kchoffmann while I agree with you about the densensitizing factor, I will still say that even though I suffered severe and I mean (puking like 30 times a day) hyperemisis during 2 pregnancies, one of which I lost a baby...and the fact that I have a puker son, I am still not 100% over emet. I still have that panicky feel, you know how it is, when my ds is about to be sick, or when I am getting sick, but I agree, I am not nearly as bad. I fly now, ride in backseats of cars, go to concerts, ride cabs, trains, I even eat buffet!!!!! occasionally. I am also a therapist. I suffered horrible anxiety and panic attacks in school, so I think that if her daughter does continue this emet pattern she would benefit from some sort of CBT perhaps. It was suggested to me in later teenage years to take some zoloft or paxil, but I didnt. Perhaps I should have but hey at least I have never had a weight problem! Lol It is a serious phobia, much more I would say than the fear of dogs or monsters that most children develop because of the horrible physical symptoms that occur with this phobia. I remember spending the night with a friend when I was 10 in fact the very first time I ever had an emet reaction...she puked frosted flakes everywhere and I RAN in the middle of the night home(3 blocks over) without even calling my mom or anything that is how panicked I was!!!!!!!! Wow this turned into a book here but what I was trying to get across is that densensitizing may not work for all emets, though I am glad it worked for you!!

[Llyra]

Another puke-a-phobic here. I have full-blown panic attacks at the slightest sign of nausea-- uncontrollable shaking, sweating, dizziness, soaring heartrate. Most of the time I have trouble sorting the actual sick feeling out from the panic reaction. And I have all kinds of superstitious little rituals that I have to go through to keep myself from puking, including abuse of over-the-counter anti-emetics like Emetrol. It's a crippling thing to live with, especially as a woman because let's face it-- pregnancy and childbirth and raising a young child all involve a large amount of exposure to vomiting.

The last time I actually vomited I was 8 years old. My mom claims that if I could just do it, just once, that I'd see that it's not the horrible thing I've built it up in my mind to be. She wants to give me some ipecac just once and have it over with. I can't do it. I just can't.

I can't ride amusement park rides, or go on boats or airplanes, because of this. Even if I take something like Dramamine, I still have the panic. When my DH got really sick, I couldn't take care of him because I couldn't handle the vomiting. My worst fear is cancer, not because I might die but because chemo makes you puke. I'm pranoid about food poisoning, and often throw away perfectly good food on the mere suspicion that there might be something "off" about it. And I don't drink alcohol at all, out of the fear of vomiting.

I'm getting better. DD's spitting up was horrific to me at first, and after a few months I was as matter of fact about it as anyone. She has yet to actually really barf, and I've told DH that when she does she's HIS kid. But I can handle my cat puking, and clean it up with no problem.

Anyway, once of the reasons that this got to be so big for me was because my mom made a big issue out of it, and let people make fun of me about it, and basically told me I was being ridiculous and encouraged me to just stuff my fear. I think that if she had handled it sensitively I would not be 30 years old and afraid to vomit.

So I think you're doing the right thing trying to help your DD handle this. But I really have to agree that the less you "feed" the fear, the better. Say as little as possible about it, and just be reassuring but extremely calm when your DD does get upset about it. So yeah, no books.

[mykdsmomy]

I have it too and it's pretty much stayed with me since I was like 6. No planes, boats, roller coasters or alcohol here either....(funny how all those things tie in together and I thought I was the only one with this fear!). I dont have any real advice but just wanted to chime in with ....just be patient with her......having anxiety or fear about something is so difficult and when no one takes you serious, it makes it worse My parents didnt think it was a big deal and kept telling me "Everyone throws up and it's good for your body" I HATED THAT.....that was the last thing I wanted to hear..... Good luck....I really hope it doesnt turn into a long lasting phobia

[Strong Mama]

Wow we could start an emet group here! I thought I was the only one too! OMG! poor us Big hugs(()))

[Laggie]

Well, we've been talking about it a bit... I did take the "everybody pukes sometimes" approach and explained that it isn't harmful, that it can help you feel better and get the "bad stuff" out. She's very interested in the body and how it functions - we read the vomiting part of the "Oh Yuck: the Encyclopedia of Everything Nasty" book. Well, I read it to her, she refused to look at it. She was pretty grossed out at the beginning but not so bad by the end - she was giggling at some of it. She did like the book though.

I'm not sure how else to approach it - if that is the opposite of what you want to hear, then what could I say??? (yes, barfing is terrible and will probably hurt you????)

I think she is getting less stressed out about it, but time will tell. I do not think it is a full blown phobia at this stage but I am concerned that it has that potential. I do think that this is definitely related to her sudden food issues, and the food issues are improving so that is a good sign.

I had no idea that this sort of thing was so common - and that it caused this whole subset of behaviours we've been seeing. Well, not the avoidance of crowds and amusement parks (so far) but the food issues, ie not wanting to eat anything that might lead to throwing up. I'm kind of upset with other family members for reinforcing the idea that certain groups of foods could cause illness.

[Llyra]

My best suggestion would be to say nothing, or at least as little as possible. That's what would have helped me.

[Curious]

I vomited once when I was about 4, and I've been determined never to vomit again. Like at least one other poster, I'll be uncomfortable for hours before I'll let vomiting happen. But I don't have any of that other emetephobe stuff.

Anyway, Dd vomited a few months ago. It came on suddenly, and it was torrential. I really didn't want her to have the fear about it that I do, so I told her the story of my episode at the same age. I acknowledged not liking it but made the story little silly.

She was coughing hard with a cold a few weeks ago, and said she was afraid she would vomit.

But who would want to? It's not a fun function and I didn't know there were people who didn't mind it, and that not liking it was a disorder.

[Laggie]

Well, I think it's normal to dislike throwing up. Although I do know a lot of people (like me) who have learned that it is better to just barf and get it over with than to prolong the agony. Usually after I throw up I feel better right away.

The part that made me feel it could become a serious problem for her is the over-the-top fear of it. If you saw her reaction to the mention of puke you'd think it was a bit weird too. Well, that combined with the food issues she was having...

But again, she seems to have relaxed a bit.

However, I am feeling barfy myself at the moment... I picked DD up from daycare and had a moment when I really really felt I was going to throw up. I was worried about freaking her out, so I suppressed it. Now I'm suffering for it - feeling very icky. Life is funny. I hope I'm not coming down with something!