walking to school without you?

[Diane~Alena]

At what age would you let your child walk or ride their bike to school alone(you not there )with a friend. My husband and I have been talking about what the local police said is a safe age to be without you while going to school and I wanted some AP's opinions.

[nicole lisa]

hmmm...DS is unschooled so walking to school isn't something we're faced with, but the park near by is. We have two parks within a block and a half; one that you have to cross a major rode to get to and one that you can reach by bike path which crosses one dead end street. I think this summer we'll work more on park safety which will include safety when walking to the park and next summer (he'll be about 6.5 by then) he'll be able to go with friends to the park which is accessed via the bike path, but not the one which crosses the major road.

We live in a city and by 6 most of the kids are walking in groups to school in the morning (we live a block away from the school and see them all walk past each morning and afternoon).

A few times he has gone to the park wihtout me but with a couple older kids and that went really well. He was 4.5 and the girls were 10 and it was the bike path park.

My closest friends were taking the subway to school on their own by 7. I've always lived within a block of the school I was attending.

ETA: I think it really depends on your kid, though. DS is a only and really savvy when it comes to safety. He uses public washrooms on his own and is very comfortable holding his own or making noise with adults. If I had a shy kid who wasn't comfortable being loud and drawing attention to himself (or herself) or any trouble that might be happening I would base my decision on that and it might be a different one.

[Kristine233]

I think it depends on the kid and how far. My 6 year old walks to her bus stop by herself thats just over a block away. I can see it from the house and watch her. Most of the kids her age walk alone to the bus stop and only a few her age with parents and thats only because thier houses are about 3 blocks away and cant see the bus stop.

The park on teh other hand is about 4 blocks away and I'd NEVER let her walk or play there by herself at this age. She probably wont be able to go until she's 10 and only with her brother (whos 2 years younger) or other friends for short periods of time.

But I'm also kinda over protective. My kids have 2-way radios (that reach 2 miles) they have to keep on them at all times when playing outside in the summer, even though they arent allowed to go any further than where they can see the house. This is for my oldest 2 not my youngest, and I'm always right there as well.

[Diane~Alena]

I am overprotective I have been told, my oldest kids are 8 and a half and I am just now letting them go the 4 blocks to the school in the morning by themselves. I make them ride their scooters and stay together. I have drilled into their heads safety and what to do if they get stopped or if someone tries to get them in the car/trunk. I tested them for a month before I let them. I would give them the keys tot he house and get them to try and beat me home so I could see them cross the streets without me. The 4 blocks is one street and three sets of lights. The street is busy so I know if anyone tried to stop them someone else would stop and see what was going on. I had to have a break my son goes to school in the afternoons this year and my baby is just 2 and so funny about going in her stroller. Thanks for your ideas on age it is nice to hear such young ages. i had once said I would stay with them untill age 11 LOL but my kids are so good they know the rules and why they are there so I realy have to let them go and allow myself and my other kids this one break I guess.

[freestyler]

It doesn't sound overprotective to me! There's some really scary, scary stuff in the world. I don't like to talk about the scary stuff in front of my kids (or at all), but I AM very vigilent with them. My kids are 8 and under, we have four of them, and gads, I don't think I'll let them walk alone until they're like 15! However, we belong to a JCC (Jewish Community Center) where you have to show ID and they have security, and my 8- and 5-yr-old I'll drop off at the door so they can go down to the pool together. They feel so big, and it's a safe place to do that. We unschool too, but if they did go to school, I would be walking with them. My daughter is very quiet and would not necessarily respond vocally if faced with a threat.

[kewb]

I work full time so I drop my ds off at before care in the morning so it is not really an issue for me, but I have often thought about it. I walked to school when I was in 1st grade. I am pretty confident that my ds (he will be 8 next month) would be able to walk to school by himself. The issue, however, is mine. I doubt I would let him at this age. Even though I know there is not a predator behind every bush there is still the miniscule chance that there is. There is also a major road he would have to cross. Even with the crossing guard things happen.

[sunnysideup]

I think it depends on where you live, the child's maturity, school start time (is it dark?), and distance.

[mamachandi]

walking to school by self if its just a couple blocks away-8-9 and bike rides around neighborhood 10 by self.
my dd is 11 1/2 and I drop her off at the movie theater with friends by themselves now(we just started this).

[LovemyBoo]

Ds is 7 and I still walk him to school and pick him up. We have an easy walk, no crossing streets or anything, sidewalks all the way. I won't even consider letting him go it alone right now b/c he's immature and not very responsible. I have to pick him up or else he'd come home without his lunchbox, homework, hat, mittens, etc. etc. Plus I like talking to his teacher everyday and seeing how things went.

If ds were a more responsible child I'd at least consider letting walk at this age, but as it stands he won't be going alone for at least another 2-3 years.

[CarrieMF]

My oldest started walking to school by herself when she was in kindergarten, she had just turned 5. My next dd will be going to K in the fall and after a couple weeks of me going with her she'll be going with her sister(who'll be in Grade 3).

[onlyboys]

My oldest walked home from school with another child at age 7.

Of course, I could see them walking from school, about 4 blocks away, so maybe that's why I let him.

[Leatherette]

I am probably not the best person to answer this, as I am still not ready to let my son take the bus. He is in Kindergarten. I had been thinking that 8 would be a good age to walk on his own to places that are a few blocks away, like the park. But we live in the city, and there is a busy road to cross - but he has always been good about safety.

Our school is many, many blocks away, so I think the bus is what we'll do. And if my toddler poops one more time when we are on our way out to school, almost late, I may have to accept the bus idea sooner rather than later.

It is scary, though, because even a child that has been taught about safety and usually makes good choices can be bribed with candy. The idea of candy makes my son a little loopy.........

L.

[philomom]

Our son is nine. He has walked all this year to school. It's a very long 4 and half blocks with a crossing guard to help him cross the major road. He gets his wiggles out before class. We only drive him if its raining. The bus does come by, but too early, almost before 7am. He does ride the bus home in the afternoons. This is working well for us.

[freestyler]

This is a real question, not meant to be facetious! Don't people worry about abduction when their kids are walking alone? ?? I would be panic-stricken about letting my 8-yr-old walk alone until she's BIG (like 15 or over) because I've even heard about 12-yr-olds getting abducted on their way to/from school. I don't read the news anymore very much, but those things stick in my mind! It just scares me so much. Like I said, I don't talk about scary stuff with my kids, but I also watch them like a hawk.

[Diane~Alena]

I understand what you are saying, and I think being alone is a mistake to many poeple make even people our age. I follow the buddy system if you don't have a buddy then you aren't going away from me. I don't think you can keep your children at home with you or be with them every second in an attempt to protect them from abduction. There is no magic age when it is safe to let them out either. 20 year old women are abducted on the street. We had a 11 year old that was "doing it by the book" she had an older buddy with her and she was on her bike but a child molester hit her friends bike with his van and took the 11 year old. the little girl got away hours later. I have shown my kids the dangers of the world and how to avoid them I have also taught them how to fight and get away if needed. If they by chance get in a car they know to do anything to make the car stop like push the pettles, grab the wheel or grab the gear shifter or E brake. If placed in the trunk they know to kick out the tail lights and wave to people in the cars following. I tell my kids if they are stopped to move away fast and they have to go and get help thats what buddies are for. My kids roll their eyes at me and look at me as if I am a freak but they are aware and street smart. I don't worry about getting hit by cars they have been told about that since 2 years old. LOL I think I am the most overprotective mommy out there we pass 5 year old all the time walking alone from school(I always walk my kids home since I think my son is to little to go without me).

[CarrieMF]

Don't people worry about abduction when their kids are walking alone? ??

Honestly no. They can be abducted from anywhere, standing next to you at the store, from their bedroom, from your car, on the street, at school, in the playground, by their own family, etc. They know the dangers, dwelling on them won't change anything.

[sunnysideup]

Originally Posted by freestyler

This is a real question, not meant to be facetious! Don't people worry about abduction when their kids are walking alone? ?? I would be panic-stricken about letting my 8-yr-old walk alone until she's BIG (like 15 or over) because I've even heard about 12-yr-olds getting abducted on their way to/from school. I don't read the news anymore very much, but those things stick in my mind! It just scares me so much. Like I said, I don't talk about scary stuff with my kids, but I also watch them like a hawk.

Stranger abductions are very, very rare. If you let irrational fears like this rule your life (or your children's) you would never get in a car, or walk out of the house-- you are much more likely to die in a car crash or get struck by lightning. I think it's good for kids to have a certain amount of indepenence and responsibility. When we hold them back (not letting a child walk unescorted until age 15) we give them the message that they are not capable of doing it on their own.

[philomom]

Our son has been coached in being street smart and he knows all the "safety" houses to run to if he should get spooked. I have good neighbors.

[Fiercemama]

Originally Posted by sunnysideup

Stranger abductions are very, very rare. If you let irrational fears like this rule your life (or your children's) you would never get in a car, or walk out of the house-- you are much more likely to die in a car crash or get struck by lightning. I think it's good for kids to have a certain amount of indepenence and responsibility. When we hold them back (not letting a child walk unescorted until age 15) we give them the message that they are not capable of doing it on their own.

I agree - abductions by strangers are very, very rare, and the few that happen are the subject of hype and create a lot of fear. However, I do believe that we need to be sure that our kids are really ready to handle whatever they may encounter on that trip to school, be it an accident or a neighbor, who may seem harmless, who offers them candy or a ride. Does your child know what kind of stranger is safest to approach if they have a problem? Statistically, its the people they already know who have the opportunity to build trust with our kids and take advantage of them.

I can't believe the thread has gone this far and no one has mentioned Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/044...Fencoding=UTF8

I highly, highly recommend it, whether your child is 3 or 16. If you read only one parenting book, make it this one.

I also include a link to de Becker's list "The Test of Twelve". Ask yourself whether your child has these skills before sending them off. There are many ADULTS who don't have these skills.

http://life.familyeducation.com/safe...one/36362.html

[wildecent]

I walk my 7yr old to school. I'm not sure what the age would be, 11 perhaps? I'm less worried about strangers and very concerned about getting hit by a car. He would have to cross a couple of tricky intersections. I walked to school and, later, to the bus stop from 6 on, but the school/bus stop was close by on a quiet road.