questions are beyond me

[amma!]

my 2 yr old asks me things like - why does something get hot when we put it on the stove? and of course, how does the plane go up? she herself observed that there are two ways things get hot - one is if they are left in the sun, and the other is when we cook them. the question about the stove came a few days after this observation.

i tackled the stove question but every explanation i gave was followed up by a further "why" - often after considerable thought. i tried saying something about oxygen leading to combustion and she said, with a puzzled look, "i did not understand that...." clearly she expects to be able to understand. i have waited on the airplane question till i can figure out a reasonable way to explain. anyone else deal with these kinds of questions ... if so how? it is not as if i can say "i dont know" because i actually do, it is just that i am not sure how to explain without getting to a dead end.

[Earth Angel]

Just wanted to share what has worked for my very curious son since he was about your dc's age. When he asks a question with an answer that is very much beyone his comprehension, and also simply because he is so young.....we answer his question with "what do you think?" He comes up with these amazing, fantastical answers that completly suit his curent developmental state. We will have all the time in the world when he is older to make sure he has the "right " answer (isn't that very subjective anyway with so many things)...but for now, since he is so young (he's 5 now and we still do it with some things and others he wants, and is ready for the "answer") we don't want to destroy the imaginative and fantasy aspects of his play and his general life so, we allow him to come up with his own answers! He LOVES to tell us why!!!

HTH

[cam&kat's_mom]

Have you read teh Tell Me Why? Books? They may be a bit above your 2 year old but our 3 year old loves them DH had tehm as a child so we have an old set But they are called Tell Me WHY? And there are all kinds of answers for everythgin a kid could want to know (Well mostly) they've really gotten us out of some "hmmmm let me get back ot you moments!~"

[simple living mama]

You can say either, " well I know but I'm not sure how to explain it in an easy way but I'll try. Or you can simply say, "I don't know. Lets go look it up". And proceed to do so. I don't think your kids expect you to know everything. And if they see you looking up things then you are modeling this to them. That is an important component to homeschooling our kids.

[Slabobbin]

I tell him that I don't know but we will find out and then we go find a book or look it up online.

[Lillian J]

It will be helpful to keep a little notepad in the house and in the car - because the car is where a lot of the questions will be coming up. Of course you can't make notes while you drive, but when you have a break. At the rate your child is going, it would probably be worthwhile to keep a little recording device on you . Then you can look things up - sometimes together - in books, online, and in CD encyclopedias. I think the process and satisfaction of getting answers through research is one of the most valuable things a child can see. Lillian

[amma!]

we don't want to destroy the imaginative and fantasy aspects of his play and his general life so,

thanks Earth Angel, I think I will try that approach. I am not sure she would take readily to it because she has been kind of lazy when we return questions back to her but I dont want to close off imagination by "answering" all the questions either.

[moominmamma]

Originally Posted by amma!

i tackled the stove question but every explanation i gave was followed up by a further "why" - often after considerable thought.

Oh yes, I've been through the 'why' stage with all four of my kids. It can be really exhausting for the parent. There's almost always a really simple explanation that one can start out with ("when airplanes go really fast, the wind that blows over and under their wings holds them up in the sky"). If I get repeated "whys" in response to increasingly reductionist explanations, "whys" that occur without any apparent reflection, "whys" that are are not framed as specific inquiry, that's usually a sign that the child in question is mostly interested in perpetuating the conversational flow and in remaining engaged in discourse with her mom. It's more about practising the skills of social discourse than about understanding the physics of flight. In which instance I'll try to redirect the conversation (not stop it) into a direction which is less tiresome for me. Such as what a curious, clever kid I have and how much fun it is to talk together and wonder about things and does she think it would be fun to fly in an airplane someday....

Miranda

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by amma!

...she has been kind of lazy when we return questions back to her but I dont want to close off imagination by "answering" all the questions either.

Oh, it used to drive our son crazy when his dad would do that. We both finally got to the point where we'd say in exasperated unison, "Would you just answer the question!!!" - Lillian

[UlrikeDG]

I tell my kids to ask daddy.

Seriously, though. My husband is REALLY, REALLY good at explaining stuff to them. He was explaining digestion to our son when he was two!

[Hera]

Not helpful, I know, but this remided me of some advice I was given once. It may have even been David Albert, lol...anyway, the gist was that kids ask difficult questions not because they really want you to tell them the answer, but because they want to find out what you know and what you don't know. Exactly how far they can rely on you to know an answer, and when they need to go elswhere. His advice was to either explain what you know to the extent that you know it (and his example involved kids who asked, but didn't necessarily want to wait for an answer or engage in a discussion but had more questions or a total change of topic moments after you began to answer) or, if you don't know, just to be honest about not knowing and give a hint about where to find the answer. I find myself saying "I don't know, but we can google it at home" or "we can find out at the library" and of course "ask daddy." Gardening questions are "ask Mimi and Pop." Most of the time when it comes down to it she has other things on her mind when we could get the question answered. But, she is left with a mental map of how to research what she wants to know.

That being said, I think he was talking about a little bit older kids, not 2 year olds. It might apply though, who knows?

[amma!]

answer or engage in a discussion but had more questions or a total change of topic moments after you began to answer)

interesting - i dont see this happening at all .... i wonder if this 'style' of questioning results from the kind of responses kids may have gotten when they were younger ?//

[Amiahuman]

When my now 5 yr old was 3 he was a big, "why?'-er, and I realized that it sometimes came about because I wasn't answering his question, just the question I thought he was asking. For instance, depending on the child, a question about why things get hot when we cook them on the stove could actually be a question about Why we have to get them hot (why do we cook pasta), not a question about How they get hot. So I finally got into the habit of parroting back to him what I thought his question was before answering it, and I was often wrong. This eventually led him to ask more exact questions because he had heard me model how to do it. Sometimes "Why" means "how" or even "who". "Why does Grammie's lawn get cut?" was once acually WHO cut it (Poppie for those just dying to know ). When they are so young, maybe Why is the easest prompt to get an answer, and they keep asking it until they get the one they were looking for, or give up.

[Earth Angel]

Originally Posted by amma!

thanks Earth Angel, I think I will try that approach. I am not sure she would take readily to it because she has been kind of lazy when we return questions back to her but I dont want to close off imagination by "answering" all the questions either.

Maybe once you begin, she will get more used to it. I vary my responses, and on occasion, if there is a very very simplistic way of explaining something I will answer the question with that simple answer, the next why though is then met with the "Well son, what do you think?" and he goes off from there! So, maybe you could find your balance with this, ansering some whys when they are simple enough for a 2 yr old and allowing her to answer others for herself.

One of the big examples I remember reading about when I stumbled upon this way of working with young children's "whys" was about the sun, why it rises and sets. It would be so much for a child of 2 to hear about rotation of the earth, the planets etc, etc etc, when most likely, they have their own idea about what is going on that suits their level of development much more, and also, as a pp said, answers "their" question, not the one we think they are asking . It is a concept from Waldorf education and supports their focus of allowing children to continue to work from the heart and not begin working from the head so early, along with keeping imagination and fantasy alive within!!

I think 2 is pretty young to be googling an answer to anything or really delving into the benefits of research. I feel that those things are all important to teach children, but not at 2 yo. My son is 5 as I said, and he is just now really into looking into things, and even then not that much, but in the last year, he and his dad have explored Encarta a bit to find more info about things he is interested in.

[amma!]

Yeah and I am not sure that I want google or ms encarta to become the answer for everything. i am trying to minimise our time in front of the screen. But I guess down the road it is inevitable. Still, I would value finding more ways to learn from nature and give lower priority to the written word.

sun, why it rises and sets.

regarding this we have family and friends in several cities / countries and so we always say that the sun has gone somewhere else. This way she also gets the concept of it being day here while night where my parents live!

[Earth Angel]

Yeah and I am not sure that I want google or ms encarta to become the answer for everything. i am trying to minimise our time in front of the screen. But I guess down the road it is inevitable. Still, I would value finding more ways to learn from nature and give lower priority to the written word.

Yup!! And for me, my trip is trying to find the balance with all of these things.