or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Miscellaneous › Parents as Partners Archive › How long were you with your partner before having kids?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

How long were you with your partner before having kids? - Page 3

Poll Results: How long were you with your partner before having kids?

  • 18% (87)
    ummm...9-12 months
  • 19% (93)
    1-2 years
  • 17% (81)
    3-4 years
  • 16% (79)
    5-6 years
  • 16% (78)
    7-9 years
  • 11% (56)
    10+ years
474 Total Votes  
post #41 of 114
We married in 1987- and had our first in 1999- 13 years later! We were neither ever quite ready to commit to children in our twenties- then our thirties came - and I said, "hey- it's now or never!" And so we took the plunge and it has been meaningful beyond words. I often wish we had started sooner.

We were ready by then- owned our own home, had good insurance, had done a lot of things and knew each other really well. We are however, both around 40 now and TIRED!!!!!!!!! That is perhaps the downside. I had a lot of energy in my twenties!!! The upside is that we have been through a lot and have some perspective and I'd hope- (but don't hold me to this)- maturity.
post #42 of 114
post #43 of 114
I put 7-9 years, but it was actually 10. We got together in 1990, got married in 98 and had dd in 2000. It worked out great for us, because we had done a lot of stuff (trips, etc) and we worked out a lot of kinks in our relationship before kids. Having our dd was a major adjustment in our relationship and it was great that we were so comfortable with each other to work through the tough times with a newborn. Then, when ds came around in 2002, I became a sahm which was another major adjustment. I've worked outside since I was 16, so going from a paying job to staying home was very hard on me. He was great, though. He knows it is really hard work to stay home and understands why the house isn't always clean or the laundry done. He does help if I ask him to and he's working overnights for us because it gives him a 10% shift differential. He hates the nights, but works it anyway for almost a year now.
post #44 of 114
Married a few months shy of our 10 year anniversary before having our son. I am glad I waited. Lots of reasons.
Parents on both sides were so sure they would never have grandchildren from us. Boy were they surprised. Now they talk about the "next" grandchild.
post #45 of 114
Dh and I were together 9 years before having dd....
We were Highschool sweethearts....
Actually we agreed early on we never wanted kids....then after we'd been together for 7 years, he was like....well what do you think about kids....
Needless to say, the more I thought about how wonderful it would be to have a part of us together in one, it sounded great....

We were going to start trying the year after we actually conceived, so dd was ready....

I think it has changed our relationship for the better though....it's hasn't been all roses mind you....but it's been good and most of the issues we had after dd came, were my feelings vs society and the way he thought things should be.....needless to say, we're on the same path for the most part anyways.

post #46 of 114
We were together for 13 years before we decided to have a baby. It was me that took so long,I was convinced that having children would be a bad thing-boy was I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #47 of 114
I met my dh in grade two, and he moved away in grade 3.
He was one of the nicest cutest boys in my class, sigh.

Then I went to high school in the city, and he was there

We didn't date until we were 21 though, and only for a few months before I went off to another College in a different city.

Then I came back to the home town, and looked him up!
He wasn't dating anyone! We were 23 We "shacked" up for about a year or so...then I got pg when I was 24. We figured it was high time we got married!

Then I had my ds when I was 25, and now we have a dd too!

post #48 of 114
We got married exactly two weeks after we met.

I went on BCP a month later, and went off it after only 3 months as it was making me too moody.

We've been OTL ever since, but never got pregnant. Finally after 2 years I started charting. I charted for about a year and nothing. Then I gave up on charting, and less than 5 cycles later, voila! I was pregnant.
post #49 of 114
We were married for a little over 4 years before we had our first...together a little over 6 years at that point.
Our 10th wedding anniversary is coming up on May 15.
post #50 of 114
We met in August of '98, moved in together two days later, By October of '98 I was pregnant with our first. We got married Feb of '99, and our first son was born June '99. I was twenty, he was twenty-one. He had a HS diploma, I had a HSD and a few college courses, that was it.
I can't believe we have three children already and I'm not yet twenty-four! I feel like we have crammed a whole lifetime into four years at times.
post #51 of 114
We were together for 7 yrs (married for almost 2) by the time ds was born. I was 23 when he was born, and had just graduated from college that year, so we had him pretty much as soon as we possibly could. We were in high school when we got together, so that explains why we weren't married sooner. I think it was the perfect time for us to start a family. We had gotton past that first hard year of marriage and had gotton into a groove of daily life with each other, then we ttc and were lucky enough to get pg right away. 19 months later, #2 came along.

I feel that having kids right in the beginning of our relationship would have been harder, because we would not have gotton to know each other as well. By the time we had kids, I knew dh inside out. Parenting is a tough gig, but knowing dh so well has made things go much more smoothly, imo.
post #52 of 114
Hmmm. Began dating in November 1997, moved in together in September 1999 and were married January 2003. We plan to start ttcing in about 3 years. That gives us about 8-9 years together before kids.
post #53 of 114
13 years here too The time was never quite right and honestly we had a lot of growing up to do. I'm glad we waited I enjoy my ds's so much and dont(usually) resent my sleepless nights or lack of a social life which I'm sure I would of when I was younger. I was much too selfish to give what it takes to be a Mother. I've had a good career in those years but I'm ready for a change and motherhood is it. Its a demanding and challenging position with great benefits as you all know I'm sure my energy level is not what it was when I was younger but I've got more stamina thats for sure and my patience is improving daily.
post #54 of 114
Wow! I'm so surprised at the number of highschool sweetheart couples there are out there. I always thought DH and I were the odd ones but now I see our story isn't that unusual.
We also met in highschool, 15, moved in together at 19 and married at 20. While we were in a big rush to start our lives together, we knew that we were not ready to have kids. When we were first married we weren't sure if we'd ever have children. We spent the next seven years becomming educated (university), traveling, beginning careers and just basically growing as people.
Nine and a half months ago our wonderfully perfect son made his grand debut in to our lives. We had been together by then for about 12 years. And making the choice to wait until we were ready to become parents was one of the best decisions we ever made
post #55 of 114
we'd been together 2 1/2 years when I got pg with DS .. we both wanted a baby

5 1/2 years when got pg with DD

& our youngest was 3 months when we got married..lol

I think it was perfect timing for us
post #56 of 114
I started dating my fiance a month before we got pregnant. Our daughter is 8 months old now. We are completely head over heals for eachother. I do wish we had more "alone" time together, but I know we would still be happily in love if we hadn't become pregnant when we did. I wouldn't change a thing though. Having our daughter had brought us so close together.
post #57 of 114
Well we have been together since I was 14 years old and had our first baby when I was 22 years old. We had been married about 3 years!

post #58 of 114
I was with DH for three years, before I got pregnant. We got married when our first was eight months old (she walked me down the aisle ), then, when DD was about 22 months old, I (oops!) got pregnant again. We've been together for seven years this coming August.
I honestly don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I don't really think we'd be together still without the kids...... so I'd say it's a good thing. Life always has a way of doing that........ it certainly had its own plans for us...... LOL
post #59 of 114
DH and I met in 1990, dated on and off for a year. Started seriously dating in 1991, moved in together in 6/1994, then found out I was pregnant. Got married in 12/94 and gave birth in 2/95. So, I voted 3-4 years...

I would say that we had some difficulty in the beginning, but both felt blessed when we found out we were having a child. I don't believe there is any perfect time in a relationship to concieve...there are arguements to be made on both ends (too early and you don't know each other well enough, wait too long and you too use to being independant). I don't really buy either arguement because sometimes babies present themselves when THEY are ready.
post #60 of 114
We were together for 8 years before Jackson came along, and for us I think that was a very good thing. We've been together long enough to have tackled some really big stuff (FIL's death, my partner's transition, my depression...) and I really think that helped prepare us for parenthood. We have communicated well in some really tough times, and it helps us communicate well under the pressures of parenthood. Also, we've had enough ups and downs that it doesn't freak us out when things are a little rough for a while because nobody's sleeping or something. It doesn't freak us out that we don't have sex like we used to, because we've already been in and out of libidoville a few times.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parents as Partners Archive
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Miscellaneous › Parents as Partners Archive › How long were you with your partner before having kids?