homeschool instead of preschool? (waldorf related)

[muse]

Not quite sure where to put this, but I could use some support.

We have been in England the last two years where DS has been at the local Steiner school. While I have some issues with the Waldorf approach I'm realising now how wonderful it has been for him and how wierd it would be to transition to a "regular" preschool. We're about to move to Berkeley where we can't afford waldorf and where the few preschools we liked the approach of have no space at all. I'm feeling totally depressed about it and wondering what we should do; pay a load of $ for a preschool we don't much like, or homeschool him for a year before he starts kindergarten? He''ll be 5 in December.

The things is, (a) I think I'd suck at homeschooling, I'd definitely be "unschooling" him. And (b) one of the biggest things for him about his school right now is his strong bond with the teacher and with his friends there. I couldn't possibly recreate that. I also think he really benefits from time away from me (and his little 1 yr old sister). And I guess (c) is the biggest thing which is how would he transition from home to a great big public school kindergarten?

Hmmm.

I feel so torn about this and so sad about taking him away from his current school. And at the same time I've been really missing him and wishing I hadn't started him in school so early since he'll be gone for so many of the yrs ahead. I can't decide if this is a great opportunity or not.

[michelle1k]

All I'm able to do is give you a little bit of our history. My ds (now 7) went to a Waldorf nursery when he was 3. It was a delightful program and he spent 3 magical years in that school. He and I both met our best friends there . When he turned six in his last year of kindergarten, we had a choice: we could send him to ps (not an option that would have suited his learning style or sensitive, introvert personality), we could send him to the K-12 Waldorf school, but we would have had to take on additional debt for this endeavour (the tuition for the highter grades are around $17 000 p.a.) or we could homeschool.

The money was not the only reason we ultimately decided to homeschool, although it was a big deciding factor. The more I read about Waldorf education through the higher grades the more I realized that my free-thinking kid would not do well being forced to conform to the very structured lessons and expected developmental stages. Since his best friend was sent to ps in a different district and they obviously would not be together every day anyway, we decided to homeschool.

It has proven to be the very best thing, educationally and emotionally speaking for his personality / temperament and his relationship with his little sister (age 3), both. They share a wonderful bond and spend many hours in imaginative creative play together. Of course, there are days when they can't get into a groove and irritate the heck out of each other, but the good days far outweigh the bad and they really are wonderful friends. My son still sees his public schooled friend and their friendship is a close as ever, even if they don't see each other as often as they'd both like.

Don't think that your only choice would be unschooling, if that does not feel intellectually right for your family. There are many "shades of homeschooling" in between. What works for us is a loose classical approach, but a lot of it is child-led and delight-driven.

Lastly, I wanted to add that there are other ways that your son can develop close and meaningful bonds with adults (other than teachers in school settings) who can influence his life in profound ways if you choose to homeschool. There can be other teachers (foreign language/s, music, art), sports coaches and mentors (someone who might teach him woodworking skills, a naturalist who teaches him wilderness skills, etc.) who will influence his life on many levels. My son had a strong bond with his Waldorf kindy teacher, but he now has a lovely male violin teacher who fills that role. When we go to our weekly lessons, I observe a really special connection based on love, respect and a wonderful shared sense of humor.

[mich]

Change can be so hard sometimes. It sounds like you would like to unschool him for the next year. Have a chance to spend some more time with him. If so, go for it. You could make a lot of great family memories, and I don't think you should worry about teaching him. Four years old is still young. My thoughts are play (with friends and family) and family life is all a four year old needs.

Leaving friends can be hard. I dont know the areas you refer to. Is it possible to go back for playdates every now and then? As far as making new friends the local playground in your new town is a great way to start. My kids seem to jump right in and play with who ever is there that day. If you go in the afternoon when school is out you'll be more likely to find kids his age.

When time comes for him to start school again, I would think given that he already has school experience, It will be familiar to him.

You could always try it, homeschooling that is, and see how it goes. One thing I try to remember is that I can always try something and see how it goes. Then make changes if necessary.

Good luck!

[wonderactivist]

Hi Maya,

I'm sorry you are so torn, we all have felt that way at times over these educational choices. But in some ways you have answered your own thoughts. I know I do that when I write so I write a lot when I'm making decisions - try it!

You wrote:

"The things is, (a) I think I'd suck at homeschooling, I'd definitely be "unschooling" him." and then later, "I can't decide if this is a great opportunity or not."

Well, maybe it is. I mean, this is Waldorf preschool we're talking about. Pick up a book called, A Child's Seasonal Treasury and You ARe Your Child's First Teacher, and you are set except for art supplies. As far as "unschooling" is concerned. Well, at this age there is very little difference between unschooling and Waldorf homeschooling - as the Waldorf Kindergarten is supposed to be based in home life.

You might tell some stories in addition to reading together, walk in the woods or down to the neighborhood creek, do some puppetry, pull out the paints and the beeswax; but truly there's nothing in there that you cannot handle.

Then you wrote:

"And (b) one of the biggest things for him about his school right now is his strong bond with the teacher and with his friends there. I couldn't possibly recreate that. I also think he really benefits from time away from me (and his little 1 yr old sister)." and later you wrote, "And at the same time I've been really missing him and wishing I hadn't started him in school so early since he'll be gone for so many of the yrs ahead."

I think the answer is right there. The first seven years are supposed to be about goodness. This is the time to pass on your values - not through lecture, but by example. You can't do that without spending loads of time together.

And YOU are right: there is plenty of time later for you to be apart and for him to learn from others. He will benefit from being with other adults and learning from their unique perspectives..but he can also do that while you attend homeschool groups, music classes, and tennis.

And finally, you wrote:

And I guess (c) is the biggest thing which is how would he transition from home to a great big public school kindergarten?"

You may find after a year of homeschooling that you feel less like that is even an alternative. Your confidence may grow, you may discover one of those wonderful Waldorf charter public schools in California (if they still are funding them) or you might find yourself surprised at how much you love to homeschool...or maybe you won't,but at least you would know you had tried.

Best wishes on finding what's right,

Lucie
(sorry so long folks)

[mich]

Berkeley CA?

Hmm.... playdates could get expensive.

[lauraess]

I agree with wonderactivist. It was said much more eloquently than i could do but yeah... all that. Go for it!

[muse]

Originally Posted by mich

Berkeley CA?

Hmm.... playdates could get expensive.

Thanks to you all. I guess I did answer my own questions in a way.
I read the article on the waldorf homeschooling website yesterday about preschool and it had me in tears it rang so true.
And also, right now is half term so DS is home from school and we have been having a wonderful week together. Not just having fun, but his behaviour has improved dramatically. We noticed it started to go downhill when he was in waldorf preschool 4 days a week. I think all the peer relations are too much at this age and he is really craving my time and attention.

So, I have to say I am leaning quite strongly towards having him at home the next year. We would save so much money (since I'm home with DD anyway and won't be out working), and Dh thinks we should put that money into making a nice home and paying for those extra things; music, dance, sports, etc. He is totally in support of the idea. I also found a berkeley waldorf homeschooling group; yay!

I think we will still try to apply for a couple of p[reschools and see how we feel about them when we visit, but nothing has stood out as being "right", other than this idea of having him home.

The thing is we will definitely be sending DS to public school for kindergarten. I want to get back to work part time by then and DS really WANTS to be in school. Also we are moving to berkeley specifically because they have pretty good public schools.

So it will be a huge transition but I'm realising maybe actually he'll benefit more from a stable home base than from a random preschool experience that actually is totally different form kindergarten anyway.

I have to say though I'm having to readjust my thinking in a major way; its really hard to shake all the preconceptions about what's "right" for a child, isnt it? I guess that's what I've been discovering all along this motherhood journey from birth on.