Moms who already have kids...

[chaibaby]

I need your experience and/or advice, please! Let me give you a bit of a background. I'm Canadian. My husband is American. We currently live in NJ and had plans of moving back to Canada (my hometown) this October. Lo and behold, we are now pregant and due in October. So, we have a huge decision ahead of us, that is whether or not we should move prior to the baby arriving (in September) or wait until he/she is born and move a few months later (January/February).

Looking back if you had to plan a big move (its about a 10 hour drive from door to door) that required packing up your entire home (and life, for that matter), would it have been easier to do it 6-8 weeks before your baby was born or would it have been easier to wait until he/she was 3-4 months old? Obviously, if we go before the baby is born, I wouldn't be doing any of the "moving", I'd just be along for the ride...no extra physical stress at least.

TIA!

[emmaofpa]

I have done both- I moved once with a 5 week old(about a 10 hour trip) and once when I was 7 months pregnant. I think it was easier to do when pregnant. You still move slower and have limitations, but you do have two hands to pack/unpack with!
Have fun!

[eco_mama]

I'm in the same boat. Our family moved out to CA from MI for 6 months on buisness. We came in December and have decided to stay untill just after the baby is born, in June. Our drive is about a week possibly longer. We don't like to feel rushed traveling across country. Everyone has told me that it's not really a good idea to travel when you're 7 months preggo and on just because of circulation and stuff. And just to imagine having to sit in a car for that long doesn't sound too appealing when it's hard enough to get comfortable as it is. I know it'll be more to deal with, with a newborn but I'm up for it. My DD is 2 1/2 and is an excellent traveler. I took long road trips with her ever since she was a baby and taking her for long trips is such a breeze so I'll just be do the same with this one.

[hopesam]

I moved prior to both of my daughters births. One 2 days! prior and one 3 months prior. They were both planned home births so the 2 day prior move made for an interesting dynamic, but all worked out just fine in the end. The 3 month move posed a bit of a problem in finding a homebirth midwife in the new area (we moved about 12hrs. away). This fact alone made the business of moving at this point stressfull. Regardless, I would have to say that I think moving before could be better if you have prenatal care lined up in Canada. My situation was unique in planning a homebirth and moving to a conservative anti - homebirth area, but if your open to switching care mid-pregnancy and can locate the type of prenatal care you want, I would say go for it before so that your new home can be your entire new families home. There is also so much more stuff to move once the baby has arrived.

[chaibaby]

Thank you! Its good to know I'm not the only one who has faced this decision! You all touched on points that are good things to consider. We're meeting with our first midwife today so we can ask her too. I'll keep you all posted as to what happens...I'm sure we'll make the decision soon. Thanks for your opinions, all were helpful!

[amyro]

I moved unexpectedly when our baby was not quite 3 months old and it was SOOOO stressful. A lot of the stress came from the fact that we had to sell our condo and buy a new home and it was a inter-state move (CT to DE). I feel like I missed out on just being able to be a new mom. Luckily, I had a pretty easy going baby, but I can't imagine all that stress was good for her. And it took us forever to finally get unpacked and settled in. My vote is for moving ahead of time if possible, and recruiting as much help and support as possible no matter when you move! (I couldn't have done it without my parents and my husband's parents who helped out a lot.)

Good luck whatever you do!

[umami_mommy]

i guess part of it depends on what kind of birth you want and whether or not you can get it in CA or NJ or both.

if you are planning a homebirth can you have one in CA? i know some women have said there are sometimes issues with finding a homebirth midwife in CA, but i don't know where you are moving to, so i can't say.

if you are having a UC it only matters in which place would this be easier versus more issues.

if you are having a medical birth i guess you can get that anywhere. and i have no clue about birth centers in CA, though i believe their are some in NJ.

i was VERY tired when i was pregnant, i'm not sure i could have done much as far as packing. (we were looking for a house then). we did move when my son was 5 months old. it was terrible. i never want to do that again. moving isn't somehtng i care much for anyway, so neither option looks to good to me, but i would have to guess that even fat and waddling is better than having a whole nother person to care for and move at the same time.

GL! don't ya love it when the gods laugh and say "here! deal with THIS!" :

[Media Mama]

One of the things I loved most about my birth was that I knew my midwife so well by the time the baby came (or should I say, she knew me so well ), and I wouldn't want to miss out on that. But, I also think that the first few months after a baby is born are intense and special enough without any extra changes! I'm going to agree with honeybeedreams, and say that it would depend on what kind of birth you want.

[Momof3Girlz]

Come back home mama! Are you from Ontario? There are many great midwives throughout Canada. It's completely legal and covered by OHIP (or the equivalent for other provinces). I'd say move while the baby is still *inside* of you. You won't be expected do to too much. Get as much done as you can while baby is safely nestled in your womb. It will be more difficult to move with a tiny infant having to nurse every 2 hours, changing diapers and all of that...

[merpk]

We're actually b'H moving overseas in the middle of this, too ... leaving after the school year, hoping to be done with our relocation for the kids to start at their new school in September ... and anticipating that I will be useless for packing, etc.



Go ahead. Why wait? To be honest, I think it would be harder to move postpartum than while gestating. Much. After all, think of how great your nesting instinct will be for unpacking ...

[pumpkinsmama]

It is easier to move IMO prior to the baby being born.


Especially if you are treated like gold by your DH! If you move after he will wonder why you aren't eager to help throw around fifty pound boxes. Before, it will hopefully be "oh, let me get that, sit down!"

[annethcz]

In general, I've found that babies are much easier to take care of before they come out. Their needs are a little less pressing when they're still on the inside.

[elmh23]

Lurking...

Having never moved with a child, I'd do it when pregnant. Those first couple weeks (really months) my dd wasn't content unless someone was holding her. There is NO WAY I'd have been able to pack up a house in those early months.

[mightymoo]

THis topic caught my eye off the main board, thought I would contribute.

I've moved twice with babies - locally when DD was 5 months and across country when DD was 2.5 and DS was 5 months. It wasn't horrific or anything, but it was stressful and difficult and the children certainly added to that exponentially. It certainly would have been easier if I had done it while pregnant. However, I personally was so dead tired the last month of my pregnancy it would have been impossible for me to pull off - but I tend to go anemic.

With the second move, we could have pushed to move before the baby was born (of course we still would have had a toddler) but for me, the stress and hassle of trying to find a new midwife that I felt comfortable with and would be willing to do a VBAC made it something I wasn't willing to consider.

Consider too that if you are going to be closer to family you'll have more help after the baby is born if you move beforehand.

[MovingMomma]

We moved when I was 7.5 months pregnant w/dd. Didn't actually move into our house until two weeks before she was born. When we drove up we took our time & only went a few hours a day (max 5). DH is USMC, so the military paid for the actual moving...we didn't have to worry about packing, loading, & unloading boxes at all. Though we did have to unpack. If I had the choice, I'd move pregnant instead of with a new baby every time!

Some suggestions:
-Line up a health care provider in the new place ahead of time, if possible. Get personal recommendations from multiple people (actually talk to them on the phone or in person). Since you won't have as much time to build a relationship w/the HCP, you want to know as much about them as possible.

-Take your childbirth classes early so you have time to finish before you move.

Good luck!

[leurMaman]

Woah - that's a tough call. Congratulations on the baby and excited changes ahead! Hmmm....I'd go with the advice of the PP who said that she's done both and prefers moving before. I think I'd go for that two. If you move while pregnant, 1) you'll have a good excuse not to lift a thing 2), you'll be installed before the newborn days hit and you have much less sleep.

Of course, it will be frustrating to deal with chaos while you feel like nesting, but it will be over quickly and you can still nest. Good luck!

[BCmamaof6]

We moved 2 months before #4 was born. It was WAY easier to move pregnant than it would have been after she was born (colicky).
And midwifery is paid for in Ontario! Depending on what your insurance is like in the US...it may be more economical to have the baby in Canada. And Canada has better 'Family Bonus/Family Allowance/Child Tax Benefit' (I'm not sure what it's called in ONT) incentives if you're not in the highest income tax bracket.
Good luck mama!

[Tori Gollihugh]

I'd have to agree with PPers who have said: It really depends on what you want for the birth... if you have what you want where you are, I would stick there. Sometimes it's hard to find what you want in a new town. However, it would probably be a LOT easier to move while still preggie! Even though you wouldn't be MOVING the stuff, you'd still have the two hands for packing and all that... and no worries about nursing as mentioned.

So much to consider. good luck.

[lizabird]

I can see plusses and minuses to both. I have not had time to read all previous posts but here are some thoughts:

I guess the main plus I see in moving while pregnant:
You are just you, and you don't have to worry about a newborn to feed, change diapers, readjust, etc., so logistically I think this would be easiest.

Drawbacks to moving while pregnant:
It's stressful to move. But one of the biggest drawbacks for me I think would be that you will have to change prenatal care providers shortly before birth and maybe not have enough time to find one you feel comfortable with.

Plusses to moving with baby:
.... uh, can't think of any

Drawbacks to moving with baby:
It's stressful to move, and even more stressful to try to do too much with a small baby in tow. Some people manage to merge the new baby into their lives pretty seamlessly, but there were a lot of things I found MUCH harder to do with a new little one on my hands. We moved when DS was about 1.5 years old and that went pretty well, but I'm glad we didn't have to do anything major like that before he was 6 mos old.

HTH,

lizabird