3 y.o "in your face"

[OakBerry]

My 3 y/o ds has been shaking his hands in my face, pointing in my face, hitting at my face, getting in my face and yelling at every opportunity (like if I'm helping him dress or get off the toilet, and especially when we're going to sleep). He is also doing this to people in stores that try to talk to him, it's embarrassing. I don't ever do this to him when I am angry, and it drives me insane. Any tips? We've discussed it endlessly an he still does it. He is experimenting with personal boundaries, we've been discussing privacy in the bathroom, privacy when touching genitals etc. Another thing he is doing is putting my hand down on his genitals. I have been calm and matter of fact and tell him that mommy only touches his penis when I am washing him, and that he can touch himself as much as he wants in private etc. But he keeps doing it. Along with the "in your face" stuff, I'm losing my patience, and I admit the touching makes me uncomfortable.
Any advice on how to handle this?

[OTMomma]

I think it may just be the age, we are going through a little of this- but I have a girl, so its somewhat different.
With my child, I sometimes have a doll react to her- or even do to her what she's doing that's make me crazy- like the doll might get right in her face and talk to her, or whatever. She seems more comfortable working through her thoughts and feelings telling them to the doll. She might even tell the doll "Don't do that, I don't like that" and the doll will say "I saw you do it to your mommy, if you don't like it why do you do it?" Not that I expect a real answer from her, but it makes her think. I hope that makes sense.

Hang in there, they can't be 3 forever, right?

[OakBerry]

Hmmm, that's a good idea. He likes his stuffed animals and he likes it when I make them "talk" to him. Thanks!

[hubris]

I'm so glad to read this!! Griff has been doing "in-your-face" annoying stuff a LOT lately. Wiggling fingers in our faces while making loud silly sounds, grabbing our legs while we walk, getting in his baby brother's face. I suspect that this is normal three-year-old stuff but I can't for the life of me figure out what it's all about. Maybe it has something to do with discovering the concept of personal space and exploring that idea?

We have mostly just been telling him how a specific behavior affects us and requesting a change, like "that loud noise hurts my ears, can you please use a quieter voice?" or "when you grab my legs I can trip and get hurt. Please ask me before you grab my legs." We've been talking about giving people some space around their bodies and letting people control their own bodies (as opposed to grabbing their body parts and moving them). When he does stuff to Reese we let Reese set the tone. If he's happy, fine. If he whines, we say "Reese is saying that he doesn't like that. Reese says 'please let go of my hands, that hurts me.'"

Sometimes he seems to want attention so I ask him if he needs to be close to mommy and have some cuddles, and encourage him to ask for cuddles when he wants them. I feel like this is slowly working, we're no longer dealing with annoying fingers-in-face all day long any more.

[2Sweeties1Angel]

My 5 yr-old still does this. I'm really hoping he'll outgrow it soon because it's embarrassing. I know people are thinking I get in his face shaking my finger and yelling but I don't. He also makes these bizarre screeching noises that make me want to puncture my eardrums.

[OakBerry]

Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel

My 5 yr-old still does this. I'm really hoping he'll outgrow it soon because it's embarrassing. I know people are thinking I get in his face shaking my finger and yelling but I don't. He also makes these bizarre screeching noises that make me want to puncture my eardrums.

I feel that same way, that people must think I am yelling in his face shaking my finger at him all the time.
Glad I'm not alone..

[tug]

me too!

my just-turned-three has been doing the in-your-face thing,especially at bedtime and it is making me nuts. bedtime has turned into a 1 1/2 hour nightmare of him poking me, prodding me, getting in my face, pulling at me, talking non-stop. where did my 2 yr old sweetie go and where did the personal space terminator come from!?

[Worldshakerz]

Yeah, I think it must be a lot to do with age. Maybe also a boy thing? Jakob just turned 3 last week and he's being doing this kind of thing a lot....making punching motions at me, coming close but not (usually) actually hitting. Some yelling, sometimes pretty loud and screechy. Shooting at me with hangers or whatever else he decides is a gun (we don't have toy guns, but he makes his own). Swinging sticks, strings, or whatever else very near to me and his little sis. Pointing various objects right up in our faces. He's just so "in your face" in so many ways...he does it to other kids and to other adults as well.

Other things my newly turned 3 yrs old boy is doing:
>Spitting and/or making spit bubbles...sometimes tries to spit on other kids
>Roaring at me or strangers in the store, or other kids
>Scratching at me or his dad
>Splashing other kids in the face at the pool repeatedly when they say not too
>And he is all over his 5 month old baby sis...I'm always telling him to leave her alone...he's always putting his hands over her eyes, patting her head, putting her face right up to hers, grabbing her hands, jabbing her in the eyes

Yikes! Daily I am saying things like, "Jakob, please go over there with that (insert object) if you want to swing it like that" "Okay, you can sit by your sister and talk to her nicely, please don't put your hands all over her face" "I don't like you punching near me like that" etc etc. Or, "Jakob! Go be loud in your room so your sis can sleep please!!!"

[tug]

Originally Posted by Worldshakerz

Other things my newly turned 3 yrs old boy is doing:
>Spitting and/or making spit bubbles...sometimes tries to spit on other kids
>Roaring at me or strangers in the store, or other kids
>Scratching at me or his dad
>Splashing other kids in the face at the pool repeatedly when they say not too
>And he is all over his 5 month old baby sis...I'm always telling him to leave her alone...he's always putting his hands over her eyes, patting her head, putting her face right up to hers, grabbing her hands, jabbing her in the eyes

oh my gawd, you have my son!

[OakBerry]

Originally Posted by tug

oh my gawd, you have my son!

Me too!

[hubris]

Sounds like Griff, too!

So...does it go away by itself? Do I ignore it, try to talk to him about it, enforce some sort of consequence (what?)? Ugh. I wish I could look in a crystal ball and see what he'll be like when he's older so that I could tell what effect (if any) my parenting choices have!

[PumpkinSeeds]

Ladies, that was us a year and a half ago. Now you'd almost never know, except for the occasional event.

They do grow out of it. Be patient.

[PumpkinSeeds]

Here's a thread for you...

[4Marmalade]

Originally Posted by Worldshakerz

And he is all over his 5 month old baby sis...I'm always telling him to leave her alone...he's always putting his hands over her eyes, patting her head, putting her face right up to hers, grabbing her hands, jabbing her in the eyes

"Give your sister space please", "When she cries like that she's trying to tell you she wants some space", "You're scaring her when you roar in her face", etc...

Those are things I say a million times a day