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DD Molested Yesterday

post #1 of 222
Thread Starter 
Update on pg. 11

I am not sure where I should post this, so MODS, feel free to move it.

Yesterday we had an encounter at the beach with some friends. I told DD I would take her for a walk and then to the swings at the park. My friend was camping with her family at the beach so I stopped by to say hi and ask if she wanted to come with us to the park. Her son (15 y/o) took DD (3.5 y/o) ahead of us. When we walked down to the park they were not there. We went to a different park, they were not there. At this point I was desperately trying to find her, but not sound like I was panicking. We went to the first playground again, they were not there, then I went to the other playground again and FINALLY found them playing on the swings. The 4th time we searched for them.

I told him we were looking all over for them and he lied to me. HUGE RED FLAG. He said they had been up there the whole time. I told him we were up there looking for them and he said he had to go to the bathroom. I thought I was going to be sick on the spot. Why in the hell did he take my DD in the bathroom with him?!?

I told DD it was time to go and said goodye to the family. I acted like we were in a hurry to go run errands that morning. After we were away from their campsite, I asked DD if she had gone to the bathroom. She said no. I asked her if he went to the bathroom and she said yes. Then she told me in detail what he did to her. She said that he did (or tried to) put his penis in her mouth, and she didn't like it.

I was practically running for the car. I was going to take DD to my friend's house and see if she heard the same thign I heard. DD does know anatomical terms for genitals, but I was in complete shock. As I was leaving the beach area, I saw a police officer and flagged him down. I told him what had just happened, and the report began. I was told not to let her eat or drink anything, as well as use the restroom. Easier said than done with a 3 y/o, but I was able to distract her for 3 more hours.

We had investigators come to our house. They did not interview DD. We took her to a forensic clinic and she was tested for DNA and had a physical exam. They said her hymen was intact and the mouth swab came up negative. Next step is a forensic interview at the same place. They are going to schedule it for this week, as soon as we can get in, but I am playing the waiting game.

The family has not been contacted yet. Another twist, my DH is deployed in Iraq and I do not want to tell him until after the interview. Not that the interview will change my mind about what happened, but I want to have more answers for him. I feel helpless and his grief will be 10x worse than mine because he can not help her or be here to comfort her.

DD seems fine and at this point so I am thankful for that. I am just at a loss, don't know what to do, don't have very many people I can talk to, and would like some support from anyone who has been through this.
post #2 of 222
Oh my gosh I am so sorry.

It sounds like you did the right thing. You asked her what happened, believed her, and alerted authorities. She will know you protected her and took her seriously.

I don't have any advice. I'm very sorry your family is going thru this.

2:
post #3 of 222

I am sorry I am not much help, i just wanted to give you a hug and say I am so sorry that happened. Do you have a local clinic that gives counseling? I would just make sure that your DD knows that she didnt do anything wrong.

What is wrong with people!?!?! That boy needs some serious counseling.

So sorry that happened.
post #4 of 222
Oh Mama, I couldn't read this and not post. I'm sending positive energies your way. This is going to be a horrible time for you and your family, but please know that you have done one of the most important things that your DD needs you to do: YOU BELIEVED HER and you are PROTECTING HER.
post #5 of 222
I am soooo sorry! I do not even know what to say...

: for your daughter and your family.
post #6 of 222
I don't have any advice, but I could not read this and not post. I am so so sorry this happened. s to you and your family.
post #7 of 222
Oh mama I dont have any thing to say but big hugs to you and your little girl right now. You need all the love you can get.
post #8 of 222
I am so sorry. You are a great mama, you did exactly what you needed to. With your wonderful support and love your dd will get through this. Many healing vibes to your dd and you. I will keep your family in my thoughts.
post #9 of 222
OMG. I am so heartbroken over this. : for you and your family, especially your dd.
post #10 of 222
I haven't been the mom, but I've been the child and you did the right thing momma. The biggest pain from my situation (ongoing for 9 years) was that my mom refused to believe it and wanted to make peace w/ the molester (my sisters husband). I could have healed alot faster had she just believed me. You did the right thing.
post #11 of 222
OMG I am so so sorry for you guys. You are doing the right thing by pursuing this, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. My parents never legally persued my abuser because they wanted to save me anymore grief (I was 16 though). I still to this day regret that nothing was done. Legal action won't take what happened back, but it can give some closure, plus that boy needs to be held accountable for what happened, and hopefully given treatment so that he doesn't try it again. A mother should never have to go through this and neither should her child. We're here for you if you need us,
s Courey
post #12 of 222
Hugs and love to you and your dd. You did the right thing and acted fast. How absolutly heartbreaking this must be for you. You and your family are in my prayers. I hope that boy get's help before he does that to some other child.
post #13 of 222
oh god.... and to you and your dd. major healing vibes to both of you - i know it has to be tough not having your dh to hug or even vent to.
post #14 of 222
Oh NO! I'm so so sorry.
post #15 of 222
Sorry. I double posted. Not sure how.
post #16 of 222
Oh mama. I am so very sorry.

You did the right thing to trust your child and act so quickly.

My thoughts are with you.
post #17 of 222
for you momma. i can't even begin to imagine. you absolutely did the right thing to believe her and to report it right away! it won't take back what he did to her, but at least it might stop him from doing it to other children. lots of healing vibes and prayers your way.
post #18 of 222
I just wanted to say how sorry I am for you and your daughter. Hugs and strength to both of you.
post #19 of 222
oh, mama, that's just heartbreaking. many hugs to you and your dd.
post #20 of 222
I have nothing to offer but and prayers for you and dd.
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