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DD Molested Yesterday - Page 9

post #161 of 222
s
post #162 of 222
how are things mama any new updates? im soooooo sorry this happened to you and your DD. glad to hear your DH is coming home. i just sorry it has to be like that my heart is with you. hang in there!

love
kelly

PS you are much stronger then i. if this happened to me and DH was gone i would have fell apart!
post #163 of 222
Prayers for you and your dd.I hope your familiy is doing ok, and that the boy is being punished.
Hugs and prayers for all who have gone through this. It is so sad that we can not trust anyone with our children.
post #164 of 222
you trusted your own instincts and your child's - well done - you did all the right things
you say your DD seems OK - I am glad - just watch her and see if any little signs of unrest come out in her play or in her reactions to others, if so you may need to re-iterate that what he did was wrong and that it is your wish to always protect her..........
post #165 of 222
post #166 of 222
Good for you protecting your little girl!! I had an extremely similar situation happen to me when I was 4, a neighbor boy babysat us and made me suck his penis. I don't know how many days went by, but I remember distinctly when I told my mother, and she immediately called the police. I remember bits and pieces of things, but mostly I am so glad my parents believed me and protected me. I got a quick education on what was ok and not ok for others to do to and with me. I never had anyone take advantage of me again. Please let us know how things are going and how your daughter is doing.
post #167 of 222
I cannot imagine what you must be going through right now, but know that you did the right thing!! Good for you for trusting your instincts, and believing your daughter - and TAKING ACTION! I'll be praying for you & your family.
post #168 of 222
I'm so sorry. This makes me so angry. Who raises these boys? It's like our society teaches them that girls and women aren't people too, but expendable objects for them. Maybe he was abused. Maybe not. I'm guessing your daughter will heal with you on her side. I hope you get justice too though.
post #169 of 222

as the survivor

what these mamas all said
You asked, You believed, you protected.
You didn't freak out on her.
GO MAMA GO!
What a lucky little girl
post #170 of 222
to you & your dd
post #171 of 222
Nicole,

Your family have been in my thoughts all day. You sound like you are doing a wonderful job of handling the situation, loving your daughter, believing her, staying calm and taking action. You are such a good mom! *hugs to you all*. I hope that you're able to find resolution with this situation.
post #172 of 222
So sorry this happened and that you are having to deal with all of this and without the close support of your husband.

FWIW.

When my son was 32 mos old, while inside a resturaunt playland with some other kids, a five year old who was in foster care and previously the victim of abuse / sexual abuse tried to force my son to mouth his penis. My son bit him on the hip to get away, that's all we know. DS was very verbal for his age, but not able to clearly communicate exactly what did and did not happen, and it didn't help that at first the focus was on the fact that he had biten the other child without understanding and giving credit to the fact that he had done so for a reason.

I documented the incident well, informed authorities, though the police were not involved.

The first few weeks into months were very hard. For one, I lived in fear of his new vocabulary and where / when it may surface, but mostly it was the heartbreak and trying to do the best thing for my son, not knowing what that meant. I wanted to give him the support he needed, but at the same time, I didn't want to focus too much on it...I hoped it would fade from memory so I didn't want to do anything to focus his thoughts on the event if that wasn't what he needed. For the first week or so, he would say various things a few times daily, then only once a day, usually during our 'winding down for bedtime' conversations, then it was only an occosional comment and now at 4 yrs of age, I think it's been at least 8 months since he's said anything. DS has an excellent memory, don't know if he remembers or not (suspect he does) but we have worked to avoid that playland so as to not refresh the memory.

Anyway, now close to 18 mos. after the fact, it seems to have had little impact. Though I know that we are all impacted in little ways that we do not understand, I feel pretty confident that this event is not going to have strong lasting effects.

Best wishes to your daugher and your familiy.
post #173 of 222
(((HUGS)))


I have been there, and it is HARD. I too, felt that mama instinct that something wasn't right. My daughter was abducted at church by a member of the congregation (the district superintendant of the churches' son). I immediately went to the police. This happened 3 weeks before Easter of 2003. The guy (19 at the time), skipped state. It ended up coming out in the investigation that he had been regularly molesting at least one other child regularly at the church for 2 years.

He was sentenced to 2 years in jail for what he did to the other girl. Because he didn't actually molest my daughter (he dragged her to the bathroom and watched her urinate, before my then 4 y/o daughter felt something was wrong and slammed the door on him and ran) he was not charged... which REALLY upset me.

Because the man was 17 when he started hurting that other girl, he is not a registered sex offender. That part of the law really upsets me, and I would love to see it changed.

My daughter, now 7, talks about what happened. She is so proud of herself. She stood up for herself, and listened to her instincts. She fought back against a 19 year old man, who intended to hurt her, and she got away! Several of her friends have been molested, and my daughter talks openly with them about what had happened to her. There is no shame. This will have an impact on her for the rest of her life, but I hope it's a good one... she knows she always has the power to say "NO! THIS ISN'T RIGHT!!!" and try to escape. Even at 4 years old, she knew this.

I tried educating the church after this, even giving them my copy of "Protecting The Gift". Unfortunately, it did no good, and many, MANY people left the church over this, and the poor way it was handled. One of the Sunday School teachers knew that abuse was going on in her Sunday School room and STILL allowed the abuser to be alone with these young children. She was temporarily let go from being a Sunday School teacher, but was back at it only 4 months later.
post #174 of 222
I couldn't read and not post. I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your dd and the way you are handling it is amazing.
post #175 of 222
Hope you and your DD are hanging in there...

Any update?
post #176 of 222
Hugs and prayers. How are you all doing? Is your husband back yet.
post #177 of 222
Dear USMCmom,
I do not know you, that is true, however I do know that what your daughter and yourself have gone through is not someting that should ever have to happen to any family, especially a child, i dont know what to say, nor would i know what to say if that happend to any of the kids I was caring for(i am a nanny) or my own kids, i do know i would be seriously furious. VERY. Several of my closest friends have had this and it just sickens me. really that guy needs counseling, or to be kept away from kids. I hope your daughter is doing better, (yet i doubt the memory will be extinquished) and i hope that you are too, im sorry if im bringing back any bad memories, what i am saying is, you did the right thing by telling the police, and your daughter knows she has major support from her loving parent.


cheers
Panditha
post #178 of 222
Dear Mama,

I am SO sorry...what a nightmare!!! What a great mom you are...to believe in and help the healing process begin for your DD. I hope you have friends and/or family at hand to help you through this. It must make things double hard to have DH deployed.

Sorry that I don't have any advice; as so many others have said, I just couldn't read your post without responding and offering support!

Positive thoughts coming your way,
Lauren
post #179 of 222
I'm not able to read all the replies and i know it's been a few weeks since the original post.
I did want to say how awesome it is that you reacted and ACTED immediately.
That speaks volumes to your child........It really does.
Thank you for standing up for your child - too many other parents don't.
post #180 of 222
I have just read the whole thread and simply wanted to send my love and support to you, your DD and your whole family.

I applaud your support of your DD and your strength to deal with the whole situation in such a manner. I hope that your DH being home has brought more strength and healing to all of you.

I have 2 DDs, 4 1/2 & 2 1/2. The thought of something like that happening horrifies me.

I don't have concrete info about what happened to me as a child, but I know that my father and my older brother physically creep me out in an extreme manner. I cannot stand being in the same room with them. (My younger brother does not give me this feeling.) My older brother and his friends locked me in the playroom as a teenager, making me watch porn in slow motion with them. That, I remember concretely.

But there is something about my father and sexuality that really makes my skin crawl. (Both my brothers are their biological children and I was adopted.) For some reason, I vaguely remember him fondling me, but I have blocked out much of my miserable childhood.

Because of this, I have now sworn that my children are not allowed to visit any of my family without me, which is pretty much never. DD1 used to visit every once in a while between ages 2 to 3, maybe 4 times... until I became strong enough in my mothering to tell them where to go.

Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. May peace and healing come quickly.
Lisa
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