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DD Molested Yesterday - Page 4

post #61 of 222
big hugs and love Mama. I am so sorry you and your baby went through this.
post #62 of 222
I like too many other mama's here, and everywhere, was molested when I was a little girl many times. By my brother.
The best thing you can/did do is believe your baby , and let her know it is not her fault, and you DO believe her.

To you!

To your DD!

To your DH!

To all of you!

: : to that boy he need

Keep us posted, and let us know what happens.
post #63 of 222
Oh, I'm so sorry.

Sadly, I'm another one who has a similar story to your DD's. When I was 5, a male babysitter (filling in for his sister) took my 2-year-old sister and I into my parents' bedroom and tried to get us to fellate him. I don't actually remember if we did or not, but I remembered details of his anatomy for years, and told my friends (who were totally grossed out and of course couldn't help me process the incident)...but he told us not to tell our parents and I didn't tell my mom for 11 years...and I really never discussed it with my parents after that one time when I was 16...none of us knew how to talk about it. It is SO good that your DD told you right away, and that you listened and took her seriously! The important thing is that she gets validation for how she feels, which is probably mostly confused! - when the incident happened with me, I didn't know what to think, but I knew something was very very wrong about what had happened. It bothered me a lot and caused me a lot of guilt, because I didn't have anyone to listen to me and help me process it. You will be able to get your DD the help she needs to process this and move on. Stay strong, mama!

My heart goes out to your family.
post #64 of 222
I am also thinking of you and your dd. And I'm thinking what a wonderful and clear headed job you did of being loving to your dd and taking care of what needed to be done. Take care of yourself and your dd in the days and weeks to come. Much love.
post #65 of 222
Not sure what to say. I am so incredibly sad,angry hurt for your DD and yourself. I was abused as a child and had a scare last year with my DD. I applaud you and your strength and sensiblity. I can honestly say I wouldn't have been so calm.
post #66 of 222
Why didn't they interview the teenager?
post #67 of 222
I couldn't read and not reply. I'm sooo sorry, your family is in my prayers.
post #68 of 222
I so very heartily agree with everyone else. You are amazing. I can't imagine a better response.

I too have a childhood story like so many other mamas here have shared... and one of the BIGGEST things that will forever stick in my mind is my father's reaction the second he had a clue that something was wrong. It brings me a feeling of peace and security even now when I think about it.

I hope you and your family finds the peace you need. Sending you strength and love. Big big hugs.
post #69 of 222
post #70 of 222
Oh mama, you and your family will be in my thoughts. You are a great mama.
post #71 of 222
Hugs to you and your little girl
post #72 of 222
Thread Starter 
Wow, I did not expect to see all these reponses. We have a forensic interview scheduled this afternoon. They will play with DD and have her show/tell them what happened.

I am afraid of what I will hear. I will be in a room with a mirrored window so she can not see me.

I still have not told DH. I want to have the interview completed and know what direction things are going first. He has not called so I am not lying to him, just not contacting the command telling them what happened.

Thank you all so much for your support.
post #73 of 222
Thread Starter 
I will try my best to explain why I ahve not contacted DH or the command. If you don't know the military this will all be greek.

The suspect's step-father is in Iraq. His Mom and I are both volunteers in the Family Readiness Group. She is in charge of all the wives in the battalion. It is split into 5 different companies and I am in charge of my husbands company.

As soon as the news hits in Iraq, I can't count on the service members to keep this confidential. Sad but true. They will tell their wives and this family will find out prior to the authorities contacting them.

If I tell DH now, he will not be able to handle the news, as well as the the fact that NOTHING has been done by the investigators. The suspect has not been questioned or taken into cutody and this is day 3. We have the interview this afternoon and this evening I will get a message to DH.

I was afraid of telling him that it was just this incident, because I believe it has happened before. My DD has been around the suspect frequently during the deployment.

I am completely torn onthis, but I have to tell myself that I am protecting DD. My husband will have to understand that I was trying to keep the case confidential. I do not want the family to have a chance to create a story, get a lawyer etc. They should not be prepared and waiting for the authorities to contact them because they heard about it through the grapevine.

In the civilian world, I would not have these concerns. Fortunately, DH is getting out of the Marine Corps in 2007.
post #74 of 222
My heart goes out to you. I think you are doing the right thing by not telling your DH at this time. Being in control of the situation is key and by telling you will lose control over the situation. I would wait until you have all ducks in a row before letting him know. Maybe a counselor can help you work out how to tell him without him feeling hurt and alienated. I hope that he can understand that your not telling him was not to hide anything from him, but to protect your daughter in a very delicate situation. He should know how the grapevine is by now and the damage that can be done.

Good luck. With your support and quick action, your daughter is already on the road to healing.
post #75 of 222
Oh I am sick to my stomache reading about this experience. I am terribly sorry your DD and you have had to go through this. There isn't much more I can say that other posters haven't but I was just wondering how your DD is holding up with all this??
You definitely seem to be holding yourself together, but you do have a lot of support from the professionals which I think is fantastic. They were quite on the ball with everything... definitely good to hear.
Good luck with the interview this afternoon!!!

to you and your family!!!
post #76 of 222
Prayers for healing, support, and strength for your DD, you, and your DH. s
post #77 of 222
Quote:
My heart goes out to you. I think you are doing the right thing by not telling your DH at this time. Being in control of the situation is key and by telling you will lose control over the situation. I would wait until you have all ducks in a row before letting him know. Maybe a counselor can help you work out how to tell him without him feeling hurt and alienated. I hope that he can understand that your not telling him was not to hide anything from him, but to protect your daughter in a very delicate situation. He should know how the grapevine is by now and the damage that can be done.
: My heart and prayers go out to you. Like the others I am glad you have the kind of relationship w/your dd that she could tell you. When I first saw your post I wasn't going to read it, but I then I thought, "what if something happened to my dd?" As parents we don't like to hear stories like this, but the way you are handling things cannot be easy, but you seem like you are just a very strong trooper.
post #78 of 222
You are a fantastic mama. You will be able to see your daughter through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

And also--don't feel like you have to justify any of your decisions here! A lot of mamas are rooting for you and want to help by offering advice, but it's up to you whether to take it or not. Save your energies to take care of your daughter and yourself.
post #79 of 222
I'm so sorry this happened to your sweet baby girl. You're such a great mama to listen to her and act on the information. You know your military situation better than a civilian like me. If you think it best to hold off on telling your dh then do so..tell him later.

Keep us updated. All the best. for you for your dd
post #80 of 222
I am so sorry mama
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