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oldest age a child might wean? - Page 3

post #41 of 75
The book "Milk, Money, and Madness" says that children of the Solomon Islands used to breastfeed until age 15. It's on page 35 if anyone is interested.

~Nay
post #42 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by mother_sunshine
josh&davesmomme
:
post #43 of 75

Still Bf

DS is 5 DD is 3 and baby is infant. DS and DD have severe asthama and nursing helps make the attacks less frequent. DS may start to wean soon but DD could probably go on forever... which is just fine w. me. She BF's in the am when she wakes and in the pm before bed. obviously infant BF's on demand.

We are a homeschooling family which really helps things as well. yes there are days i feel like all i do is feed but its really no different then spending all day in the kitchen cooking .... kids need to eat...

I am hoping to be pgnt again soon, the thought of having 4 bf's is quite overwhelming however i must remind myself 2 are only bf minimally, infant will be toddler almost and then new infant will be only child BF on demand.

I am blessed enough to be a woman and be able to give this to my children, i will not let society, the medical profession or guilt determine when we stop. it will be a decision led by my children, each at his or her own pace.

BF keeps my children healthy, it comforts my children and it gives them much needed security, none of which im willing to sacrifice for 'other people'

I feel better now, headed to bed soon....
post #44 of 75
Wow I think it is so wonderful that all of you are doing child-led weaning, I think that is great. I wanted to nurse my DD for at least a year but due to her being born 12 weeks early and issues with her in the NICU and my milk supply I was only able to nurse her for 3 months, although I continued to recreationally bf her (bfing without milk) until she was about 10 months old.

With my next baby (and any there after) I plan to nurse for at least a year and would love to go longer. One question I have is that my DH is very mainstream and doesn't want me to do that...I know it is my body and my choice but I am afraid I will have a difficult time with it if he is constantly making rude remarks about it. So I was curious for all of you, how did your SO react to your wanting/deciding to do child-led weaning?!
post #45 of 75
Hi, UP! Was thinking about you and your mice exploits recently. Because, um, I live right over the basement, and I don't want to tell how many furry critters I'd have in my signature if I were counting lately.

While reading this thread, I asked dd when she thought she might stop nursing, and she said, "Maybe in 5 minutes or so."
post #46 of 75
To Liz -- I do think it's important to have your partner on board. (Not in the sense that you should decide not to nurse because he's not on board! But in the sense that some serious communication is called for to help him understand, even if he can't understand the health benefits for your child, that this is of serious importance *to you* and deserves his respect.) There are many kinds of issues people can have around breastfeeding, some of which are hard to get them to talk about.

My dh has really been supportive of me, although I guess we never sat down and said, "How would you feel if I were to nurse dd until she's school aged?" I guess the beautiful thing about being a parent is that you have time to grow into it, in all its dimensions, gradually. When I was pregnant with dd, I don't know how I would have felt about CLW past age 2 or 3. I KNOW I would have been shocked at the thought of nursing a 10yo. Dh is totally oblivious or antagonistic to social pressure and also gets me water and high protein snacks while I'm nursing. I believe that his biggest issue with nursing has been sometimes feeling unable to provide the magic bullet. Obviously, by the time a kid is past infancy, that isn't such an immediate issue anymore, though it still has some ramifications. With dd2, we were blessed to be able to avoid leaving her alone with him for an extended period until she was old enough to handle eating and drinking from a cup during the day instead of nursing. So during the past few weeks, dh has been taking care of the kids while I'm at work and it's gone really well, which has been a very positive experience for him and them, in terms of their relationship. Although they still dive on top of me and drag me into the nursey chair as soon as I walk through the door. Oh, and dh froze my milk and washed the pump for me last night, too.
post #47 of 75
eminer - you're working? I just started working!

anyway, yeah, you can't, while gestating, sit down with dh and say "so, we'll have this baby, and he'll sleep in our bed for 4-5 years, and nurse for that long, too, and maybe we'll even homeschool and do EC..." bc, if your dh is leaning towards mainstream, his head might pop off.

with my dh I said "I'm gonna breastfeed, and ds will sleep in our bed until he sleeps through the night" and we just sorta grew into the parenting relationship and adapted.

Guess what? ds is JUST starting to sleep thru the night at nearly age four, and he is still breastfeeding. DH has just gone with the flow. There was a brief time when he encouraged me to try to get ds into his own bed in his own room, but dh couldn't deal with ds' crying anymore than I could, so he happily accepted the perpetual family bed.

even the : is sleeping with us. well, he is a member of the family, right?

is there a family bed with dog smiley?

post #48 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by mother_sunshine
josh&davesmomme

That's how I found Mothering too, when dd was around 5. The support here is wonderful.
omg mother sunshine! i think i recognize your screen name were you on an ivillage board- I used to be joshsmomme- before baby David was born!
Glad to see you!
Thanks again everyone for the welcome!
post #49 of 75
Yes, I remember you josh&davesmomme! In fact I still have your email from years back (it meant a lot to me) after I made my last post there. You were one of the reasons I stayed there as long as I did, because you responded with an open-mind rather than the dead silence (or worse) I was starting to get. Good to (finally) see you here!
post #50 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by eminer
My dh has really been supportive of me, although I guess we never sat down and said, "How would you feel if I were to nurse dd until she's school aged?" I guess the beautiful thing about being a parent is that you have time to grow into it, in all its dimensions, gradually. When I was pregnant with dd, I don't know how I would have felt about CLW past age 2 or 3.

I couldn't agree more.

Paxton25, we took it one day at a time and evolved (dh slower than me because he didn't have the maternal instincts I did). Dh was much more mainstream than me at the time too, but now he surprises me with some of the things he says and how supportive he is of NFL (Natural Family Living). I like to tease him now and call him a hippie because he used to call me a hippie and give me such a hard time for being different (which is really what he fell in love with in the first place, he just needed to realize it).

But, yes, take it slowly with him. Give him lots of time. It won't happen overnight. Plant little seeds. Make little comments about things you've heard. Share your parenting ideals. Leave Mothering by the toilet or wherever you think he'd read it w/o nagging him (if he's anything like my dh, he won't read it once it's suggested because then it becomes "work"). Mothering has a wealth of info in it and does a wonderful job of gently making NFL a no-brainer. There are great breastfeeding articles in several of their issues (I think you can do a search at Mothering's home page for back issues).
post #51 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by paxton25
although I continued to recreationally bf her (bfing without milk) until she was about 10 months old.
One question I have is that my DH is very mainstream and doesn't want me to do that...I know it is my body and my choice but I am afraid I will have a difficult time with it if he is constantly making rude remarks about it. So I was curious for all of you, how did your SO react to your wanting/deciding to do child-led weaning?!
First of all, I love it..."recreational breastfeeding" I just want to add that nursing your baby is nourishing more than their body...it nourishes them emotionally too and that is far from recreational
My ex-husband probably thought it was nutty that I have nursed for so long but because he loves our son and saw how much our son was emotionally/physically nurtured by the nursing, he has never protested....he has just accepted it.
And I myself never planned to have our son nurse to this age...I just followed our son's cues.
I agree that if you just say "I want to nurse our baby until she/he no longer wants/needs it", that leaves it up to the child and doesn't seem so much like you're planning it despite his input. If you say "it's up to the child" then I believe the partner will be much more inclined to say "okay, let's follow the child's lead" instead of feeling that they are with a domineering partner who wants to make all of the decision. Because let's face it...it IS up to the child. And some children will self-wean at 18 months and others will go to.....?
post #52 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by josh&davesmomme
omg mother sunshine! i think i recognize your screen name were you on an ivillage board- I used to be joshsmomme- before baby David was born!
Glad to see you!
Thanks again everyone for the welcome!

Oh, wow! Is this an iVillage reunion or something?
post #53 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanPlanter


btw, today ds informed me that he would stop nursing when he is sixteen
Mine says 16 also-- because I tell her she can't drive the car or sit in the drivers seat til she's 16! (awhile back she figured out how to insert the keys into the ignition and turn on the accessories... ack!!)
post #54 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla

Oh, wow! Is this an iVillage reunion or something?
Oh WOW!
Hi Ruth!! Glad to see you again too!!!!!!
post #55 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by mother_sunshine
Yes, I remember you josh&davesmomme! In fact I still have your email from years back (it meant a lot to me) after I made my last post there. You were one of the reasons I stayed there as long as I did, because you responded with an open-mind rather than the dead silence (or worse) I was starting to get. Good to (finally) see you here!
Awe!
You've been my inspiration to allow josh to keep nursing until he decided he's done!
by the time Josh was 2 I was really leaning toward CLW but always assumed he'd wean himself earlier than now, (4 yrs old), so when I'd start to get those thoughts that maybe i need to wean him because he hadn't weaned himself yet- I'd think of you and feel reassured that when the time is right it will happen!
post #56 of 75
just had to laugh. I followed Mother-sunshine and Ruthla from ivillage to here as well. I think one of you posted a link and once I found MDC ivillage just couldn't compare.
dd has passed the 5.5 mark and still will nurse at night if given the chance, sometimes she fallls asleep with Dh or while I read to her. Dh can't understand why her 15 secs of nursing is important. I say each day she nurses less and less and often skips a night so she is weaning, just very slowly.
I do feel sad that dd doesn't want a weaning party. Part of it is that she says she hasn't weaned and the other part is she said she's kinda embarrassed to have friends over for such a party. I don't think we have a IRL friend that has nursed past 3yrs. I think the weaning party might just be me eating a cake (there's always a reason for cake IMHO!) She does want a party for her first adult tooth coming in .
post #57 of 75
Ruth and Chel!

josh&davesmomme, thank you! I'm so glad someone was listening and, most of all, I'm so glad that you could get strength and reassurance from our experience. That's what I was hoping for.

Chel, fwiw, dd's "weaning party" was just our own little celebration together. Dd and I spent a fun day together (the mall, lunch out, etc), then we looked at her baby pictures and baby clothes, then dh joined us for cupcakes. It was perfect for us.
post #58 of 75
iVillage is a distant memory, but I was there too a long while back.

I prefer this format for discussions.
post #59 of 75
Haven't gone through the whole thread yet but just wanted to add a little comment
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached Mama
For the record, I"m all for EBF, but 10 years just seems too long.
So you're all for EBF but just not for 10 year olds and beyond?

Perhaps the child has a weakend immune system and needs that extra little boost. Perhaps there are adjustment issues from other parts of the family life that require the child to have that closeness. There are so may possibilities.

IMO there's no such thing as "too much of a good thing" when it comes to breastfeeding our children
post #60 of 75
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla

Oh, wow! Is this an iVillage reunion or something?
Another one here from ivillage Hi Ruth, Lish, Chel, and Mother Sunshine!

There aren't many places where I'm comfortable talking about bfing my almost 5 yo DD - this is one of them.
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