Becoming pregnant again in the postpartum? - Page 3

[Panthira]

I turned to my husband at dinner last night and said, "Honey, how would you feel if I told you I'm pregnant?"
He turned a little white in the face and asked, "Are you?!"
My daughter, who had just taken a bite of rice, choked a bit as her face turned crimson and her eyes grew wide.
I smiled crookedly at him and told him,"No, but think about how you'll feel, because it could happen if you don't schedule your vasectomy."
Instead of getting the response I wanted, he knows how to recover quickly, and he casually took another bite of his food and said, "If it's meant to happen, it'll happen." He was joking, but it wasn't funny!


I am done having babies. At first, right after giving birth to Greyson, I thought maybe I was kidding myself that he was going to be my last. I was having a baby lust thing going on, but as time goes on that feeling is fading. I'm looking at private (Waldorf) schools for the babies already and wondering how we'll afford to send 2 kids. No way could we handle the cost for more, much less the time. I want to focus on the children we have and hopefully nurture some wonderful, well-rounded people. I'm not saying it's impossible to do this with more kids, but for me it would be a huge stretch. I just turned 36 years old and have 4 kids. I have things I want to do beyond having more brats... err.. I mean sweet children.

My DH is dragging his feet on this surgery we both agreed would happen, but I think he's scared of having his manhood touched.

[Thursday Girl]

congrats, your not a thread killer i am just trying to limit my computer addiction

i think it's neat and this baby really wanted to be here like you said. have youever heard the story of the soul babies?it was from that midwife book?

courtney

[DesireeH]

Oh Babs! Congrats mama!!!!!!!!!

[DesireeH]

Oh...and condoms....I just got some really cheap ones at drugstore.com (3.99 for a pack of 15) LOL I forgot how expensive those things were! LOL But yeah.....it's cheaper than paying for another birth right now. LOL

But it's weird having to think about birth control cause in our 7 years of marriage, we never used any. I have a hard time getting pg (Jevin took 3 years and Daph took 2 years) and there were some m/c inbetween (I have PCOS) but now that I DONT want to be pg again, I'm sure that's when it would happen. LOL When you want something so bad it never happens..and when you dont.....it happens! LOL I did tell dh he should get a vasectomy but he doesnt want anyone messing with his junk. Plus that seems kinda FINAL.....we are only 25 (I'll be 26 next month) but I also am ready to move onto the next phase.....the actual raising them part. HAHA And taking them places and making sure the 2 I do have are able to have a good/fun life, yk? It's hard, I dont know what I want. Dh is burdened financially at the moment cause we have a ridiculous house payment......so I dont want to add on to that burden either.....but if we ever move out of state, we'd be fine....I dunno!

[iris0110]

Congratulations Babs.

Part of being afraid to announce this (there are still family who don't know) is being afraid that people will sweep Jericho under the rug because something nice is happening, so we've been careful who we tell.

This rang with me. I was so afraid to announce my pregnancy with Tharen because even though it had been over a year I didn't want people to forget about Arawyn. My family have been pretty good about it, but I have found that many people want us to just forget her and move on. Especially now that Tharen is here. Dh and I keep her memory alive, and I know you will do the same with Jericho.

[Taedareth]

Originally Posted by littleteapot

Thank you.
There was such a long pause between my post and this one that I thought maybe no one remembered who I was and I was a total thread-killer.

Looks to me like you've revived this thread

After reading the comments up top, I turned to my DH and asked him how he'd feel if I said I was pregnant. He smiled and said, "I'd be happy. Are you?"

For weeks after the birth I felt like there was no way I could ever go through labor again (I had nasty back labor even though the baby was positioned right). But as time goes on, I am just feeling this powerful desire to have more babies, and soon! Realistically I don't want to spend Wesley's babyhood being pregnant. But maybe we'll start trying for #2 shortly after his 1 year birthday. Two years apart is kinda close (we were originally thinking 3 years would be good) but I'm really feeling like I want our babies close together. So we'll see.... we'll be praying about it and see what God has in store for us And as for being intimidated by the pain of labor, well... I won't be looking forward to that again but months of holding our precious baby outweigh the awfulness of that one day of physical pain.

[Turtlemum]

What wonderful news littleteapot! Of course we didn't forget you! Taredeth, my DH and are also talking baby number two already...we think we'll stay strong and try to wait until Scarletti is two until we start trying though...

all 4 of my sisters and I were only two years apart...we are all very close...don't if I can wait until two years...

[allnaturalmama]

Oh Babs, I just now saw your post, and I'm so happy for you! Of course we didn't forget you or your precious little Jericho. I still think about you both all the time and wonder how you and your family are doing. Glad you posted!

[Spark]

Originally Posted by littleteapot

It's me.
And, thank you, those of you who have PM'd me. It's not weird at all. I really appreciate it.

And since you were all talking about it above there... we actually did get pregnant through a condom! It was used just fine and had no holes that I could see (I check after). For obvious reasons, we weren't going to TTC yet. Not for a while.

97% isn't 100%! This makes me the third person in my family to conceive through birth control, and my third time conceiving through birth control as well (pill, IUD and now condom. First two were miscarriages).
I guess this baby really wants to be here. I'm due Sept/Oct, and having another UP/UC.

Thanks all... for still thinking about me. That makes me feel really nice. Part of being afraid to announce this (there are still family who don't know) is being afraid that people will sweep Jericho under the rug because something nice is happening, so we've been careful who we tell.

Babs! I didn't see your post either! (I copied it so others could see)

Sending you sweet healthy pregnancy and baby vibes while holding Jericho close at heart.

[littleteapot]

Thanks, you guys.

No, I haven't heard the stories of the soul babies - what is that?

Originally Posted by DesireeH

Oh...and condoms....I just got some really cheap ones at drugstore.com (3.99 for a pack of 15) LOL I forgot how expensive those things were! LOL But yeah.....it's cheaper than paying for another birth right now. LOL

For us it's a little different: I'm allergic to latex. Poly condoms here cost about $16+ tax for FIVE!!! And that's the best price.
EVERYONE has shown me that you can get them cheaper in the USA, and online - but with Canadian shipping (always overblown), currency exchange and tax? At best it ends up being the exact same price. The *one* place I found online that had them for less only sold them by two pack and tacked on tons of tax.

By that time I was already pregnant and didn't know.

After Jericho died I think intimacy was the easiest way to express the need for each other, because it took weeks and weeks for DH to break down and talk about it (he's NOT that kind of guy. Ever. He cries in chick flicks and he's not a macho guy - that's why I love him. This was very out of character for him). Because of all of that, I have no idea when we conceived. At the rate we were going it could be anytime. We started less than two weeks after the section.

iris0110 -
Thank you for your experience. It's bothered me the most with my brother, who keeps saying he's working toward a letter to me, but never said a word... when I was in the hospital he called my mom on her cell every day, twice a day, asking about me. This is the same guy who has probably hugged me five times in my whole life. That was huge for him, so to hear him saying he was working on a letter was a big shock.
When I told him I was pregnant again (had to. I was crashing at his place and I'm already showing) I could see the relief on his face and the "Oh wow that's so GREAT!". I know he was saying it for a different reason. It really upset me, and it makes me even more cautious.

[darkpear]

Congratulations, Babs! That is wonderful news.

Er, how are the polyurethane condoms? I just don't much care for the latex ones. We picked up some natural membrane ones today but those are $$$ too.

[littleteapot]

Originally Posted by darkpear

Congratulations, Babs! That is wonderful news.

Er, how are the polyurethane condoms? I just don't much care for the latex ones. We picked up some natural membrane ones today but those are $$$ too.

I can't really compare, since I've never used latex or natural membrane (much more expensive than the poly). DH found them kinda tight but just a bit ago my friend told me that they have the same measurements as the latex "magnums". I kept wondering why all the reviews I was reading were people complaining of slippage and I guess that's why! They don't say that on the box.

They are significantly thinner than latex, though. So apparently they transfer body heat a lot better and go on easier. But they're just as protective.

[atozmama]

Congratulations Babs! I too found it difficult to talk about my pregnancies until almost midway after losing babies at 12 and 21 weeks along. I found it such a confusing time,, feeling joy for the new one growing, but such sorrow (almost like it was being renewed) for the one who isn't here and what our family went through.

[wawoof]

Congrats, Babs!!! I wish you joyous and healthy pregnancy, while also keeping Jericho in your thoughts as much as you need to

Originally Posted by DesireeH

I also am ready to move onto the next phase.....the actual raising them part. HAHA And taking them places and making sure the 2 I do have are able to have a good/fun life, yk?

:

We're ready for our boys to be able to play together, and we want to do lots of things as a family that it'd be harder to do with more kids. I don't want to be unable to do fun outdoor stuff like mountain biking and surfing with Ethan because there's a much younger sib who can't do them. We also don't have any family nearby to help, and don't have the time or money to have more kids. Ironically, though, I've been much more into sex in the immediate postpartum period this time than I was last time, when I wanted to get preg quickly (and it took 2yrs!). We're using condoms, though I hate them because I feel like the lube is inadequate after a few minutes. My midwife recommended http://www.astroglide.com/products_silken.asp today, and I'm going to try it asap! We're planning for DH to get a vasectomy, but first I have to get over the finality of it. Like, what if something happens to the kids we have (bird flu, for example) and we want to have more? I feel ridiculous feeling this way, but it's really an issue for me...

[DreamsInDigital]

OMG Babs, congrats!
I don't know if I mentioned it or not but DP and I had a little birth control mishap on cycle day 14. If we conceived this cycle my EDD would be 12-10-2006!
So cross your fingers that I'm not O'ing yet! I'm not ready for a newborn and a 1-year-old to go with my 2 older ones who would be 3 and 7 by then...Yikes.

[Taedareth]

I was talking with a couple other moms today. Their kids are either grown or teenagers. One has 3 kids and the other has 2. Both of them said that when their kids were younger they felt like they had "enough" children. But once the kids got older and started moving out, both moms deeply wished they'd had more children. I guess we often don't fully appreciate what a pleasure and blessing children are while we're in the thick of things, but in retrospect we wish we'd just gone for it and dared to have at least one more.

[IncaMama]

congrats, Babs! i've often thought about you and wondered how you're doing...i'm sending you peaceful healthy vibes *HUG*

[marisa]

I'm having a little pregnancy scare this morning (posted about it on the yahoo group) because my nipples are super sensitive, I'm lightheaded and I have a slight metallic taste. I'm going to get a test once I can get the gumption to get all the kids dressed and out the door. It's probably just ovulation symptoms...my girl has slept through the night since day one.

So, I'm feeling a little emotional and Taedareth - your post about the moms made me a bit teary.