I was raised GD, and.....
Originally Posted by dharmamama
......No one will ever convince me that the natural state of parenting is for kids not to have firm consequences to their actions, nor will I believe that all children will respond best to a certain way of parenting. There is too much diversity in people's temperments for me to believe that......
I was raised GD. I'm 40 now. I couldn't stand/did not respect my mother when I was a kid....and I still don't respect her as a mother now. Living a life without consequences? Even as a kid I thougt it was stupid. And when she used to go to her bedroom-- I didn't understand that she was trying to punish me. I just thought she was weak.
All this making sandwiches for people who have disrespected you has got me confused. Granted, my DD is only 14 months old, so I'm not going through what many of you are going through yet. But from my dog training perspective, giving some one what they wanted without regard for the bad behavior they used to get it is REINFORCING the bad behavior. Put more simply-- if I knew that I could get a sandwich from you whether I asked in a nice way or in a mean way...then I wouldn't stop asking in a mean way, because I'd still get my sandwich.
I dunno. If these tactics work for you and your children, then that's wonderful. I fully support your choices. It's just that on a more basic level, I don't see how modeling good behavior while reinforcing/rewarding negative behavior is supposed to work with children.