I am the only one who has weaned a high-needs nurser before his time?

[mighty-mama]

Mama's. I don't know what to do with myself. Noah is having a difficult time weaning. I have 3wks left to fully wean him and with each week passing and a feeding getting taken away, the worse he does.

What am I going to do, I can't get him to nap any other way. As it is, we co-sleep and he still nurses every hr, I've tried everything, the only thing we think to do is have him sleep w/ dh on the couch. With this he still wakes up every hr and dh has to rock him back to sleep.

What kind of psychologial effects will he have from this. I know I'm going to be depressed when I can't nurse him anymore, but what will he be going thru. Also this past week, he has started throwing screaming fits. Whenever he doesn't get his way he screams.

[sapphire_chan]

Why do you have to wean in 3 weeks? According to your sig ds isn't even a year yet. Is it the stress of frequent nursing?

[mighty-mama]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

Why do you have to wean in 3 weeks? According to your sig ds isn't even a year yet. Is it the stress of frequent nursing?

I have breast cancer @ 28yrs old. I'm starting chemo in 3 wks. I've been able to nurse him thru out my other testing.

[onlyboys]

I am so sorry that you find yourself needing to wean.

I only have practical suggestions.

Allow him to take a bottle until he needs to give it up. I know that there's an issue with decay in the mouth, but my high needs nurser had such an intense need to suck.

Cuddle, cuddle, cuddle.

I have a friend who walks her son to sleep; he weaned during a surprise pregnancy. I'd be hestiant to start a routine that you'd be hard pressed to continue... I have no idea how the cancer treatment will make you feel afterward, whether it would be safe for you to walk him to sleep. Perhaps you could enlist your husband's help with him at night?

Don't forget the power of the car. My kids can really get into a good sleep in about 10 minutes in the car, and sometimes, that's really worth it.

Much love and light to you. Your son will be sad, but you will be sadder in the long run. Keep in mind that this is not optional for you--it's necessary weaning.

[Treasuremapper]

I had to partially wean my oldest daughter when she was 23 months old, also for medical reasons. In our case, the reasons were different: my younger daughter had intestinal surgery and my milk supply was low. So low I had to get milk from the milk bank and take domperidone... and at one month of age, my younger dd still had not regained her birthweight. She was medically "compromised" as they put it, and it was a very serious situation.

I had an excellent LC (household name in LLL and LC circles) and she suggested total weaning for my older dd... she and I negotiated and agreed on partial weaning, once a day before bed, after the baby nursed. It was very, very hard, because my dd was high needs and also, imho, she picked up on the super stressed vibe in the house after the baby's surgery and hospitalization, etc.

My dh had to do a lot of walking my younger dd in a stroller at night to help her sleep. We would have used a pacifier but she did not like them. We used bottles of juice. we did all the things that AP parents are not supposed to do in the bf'ing realm to make it easier on my older dd to do something really hard for her.

If it were me, I would try to taper off some but I would enjoy the nursing as much as possible right up until the last time, and let your child know that it is just as sad for you as it is for him, but that you have to. Let him know you love nursing him and would nurse him as long as you wanted if you could. That way, he knows he is not being rejected by you.

One other idea: this website was suggested to me by Jan Hunt of the Natural Child Project, and I found it incredibly helpful for several different things: While Children Sleep http://whilechildrensleep.homestead.com/

Please let us know how this goes, I will be thinking about you.

[artgoddess]

I've been following your hurt over this tough cancer battle. Your dedication to your son is an inspiration. I have nothing to add to what onlyboys has said, but I wanted to you let you know I'm thinking of you and your family.

[jeanine123]

Does he take a bottle? Or a sippy or other kind of cup? I remember that he was taking the paci a bit more, is he still doing that or did the novelty wear off? ONe thing I was thinking is trying to hold him in a nursing position with the bottle/cup/paci and see if that works at all. Sorry, that's about all I can think of right now.

[Eman'smom]

I would totally change your routine, it will be hard I know that.

If he needs to nurse before a nap run him ragged then stick him in the car for a ride.

Move him and your dh to another bed with a bottle/sippy of water, smelling you and your milk is probably too hard.

He's a little young but you could try saying things like "I know you want to nurse but mommies nurse is broken" or something like that, acknowledge what he needs but be strong.

Start only nursing for certain sessions, say first thing in the morning, nap and bed no nursing any other time then drop those 3 over the next 3 weeks

[1Plus2]

Originally Posted by mighty-mama

I have breast cancer @ 28yrs old. I'm starting chemo in 3 wks. I've been able to nurse him thru out my other testing.

I check this board about once a week but had not seen your story. Huge hugs to you, Mama and the battle that lies ahead. My oldest dd was (and still is) a high-needer and I can not imagine attempting to wean her at 1-year. Have you contacted a LLL Leader in your area? Maybe she will have other suggestions for you on making this weaning more comfortable for both your little guy AND you.

I know I'm probably not telling you anything you don't know yet but isn't there a chemo that can be taken while a woman is pregnant? Why if that type of chemo is safe for a pregnant mom is it not safe for a bf'ing one?

[mighty-mama]

thanks for the support, I'll try to answer all your questions..

In regards to chemo, I really don't have much choice. My tumor had grown to 3.1cm in 6mths, and since I was only 27 at the time, in order to stay alive it's recommended for very harsh chemo drugs. Nursing of course will cease. I tried to see if I could do radiation first, but I can't play around with this treatment.

I have totally changed our routine, and he's still having issues. I do not nurse him to sleep for naps in bed anymore. For awhile he would fall asleep via rocking in my arms, then I had my 2nd surgery last week and I couldn't hold him and resorted back to nursing in bed, and all that hard work went down the drain. I'm still nursing him to sleep at bedtime, but I lay akwardly and make it hard for him to nurse, and he'll pop off sooner, but still needs to nurse to sleep. We have pushed a paci, back on him and he loves it, but god forbid we try giving it to him during the night, he actually, while still sleeping, pulls it out of his mouth and throws it across the room.

I am scheduling his nursing. Since I have 3 wks I nurse him 3x during the day, of course next week at week 2, he'll nurse 2x a day. I am refusing to nurse him to sleep for naps now, yesterday and today didn't work well, but within a few days, I hope he'll get it...

thanks for the love, I think I'll try offering a bottle and see if he likes it more than his sippy cup now..

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by mighty-mama

I have breast cancer @ 28yrs old. I'm starting chemo in 3 wks. I've been able to nurse him thru out my other testing.

I'm so sorry. May your experience be as positive as possible, and the treatment 100% effective.

to your little guy that he ends up handling things better than expected. It's wonderful that you've been able to nurse him for so long.

[NaomiLorelie]

to you mama. I don't have any advice, just ((((hugs)))). What a difficult situation.