Boys playing too rough

[mazajo]

I'm sure hoping for some advice here...

My 3 sons almost constantly wrestle, pillow fight, tackle, dog pile, chase, tag, you name it. It is truly almost every time they are in a room together (or a car).

It is loud, smelly, messy, destructive, dangerous, and it is driving me mad.

I've tried everything I can think of from keeping them as busy as possible with other activities (all activities must be in seperate rooms or they lead right back to wrestling and seperation is hard due to our small house) to making them keep all physical play outside (they want to take blankets and pillows outside with them to 'land on', and that doesn't work when its cold or rainy anyway).

I just want them to stop! Is this just a boy thing that I need to expect to deal with forever more, or is there anything I can do?

[Super Pickle]

This is a boy thing that you may have to deal with forever. My personal opinion is that we should let it be, as long as no one is getting hurt. It is a way they build their relationships and show affection. Make the environment as safe as possible--cover corners, etc. I think the most important thing is to observe them often to make sure that there is no "ganging up" two-against-one, and that the smaller ones are not being bullied by the big ones. Basically, make sure they are ALL enjoying themselves and FREELY choosing this type of play. If it seems that any one of them is not having fun, or if it is negatively affecting their relationship, then step in and put a stop to it.

[PancakeGoddess]

Mine are like this often, although not all day long... Make things safe, let it go as often as possible.

When I am just sick of it, I insist they stop, including separating them if necessary. Something I've considered is giving them an outdoor job if they just really need to work the muscles.

I do think the wrestling is how they get their touch with each other, though.

[MsMoMpls]

I vote boy thing- same thing around here. I strongly suggest "Mom Jason's breathing on me" for sibling issues. It really challenges you to leave their brother relationship alone- you need to let them be brothers and learn from each other and set their own rules. I try to only get involved when they are pushing my limits of noise and then step in equally- never taking sides. Even the little one is figuring out that if he doesn't want to get bonked- he better stay out of the way and if he wants to be involved, he is going to get bonked. Clearly there is a time when their is real bullying going on, but that is more likely when one feels like the other is getting too much support from Mommy.

[rgarlough]

My DSD has the need to be physical. There are weekends that I seriously watch the clock to see when its 6 PM on Sunday... Cuz I just can't take it anymore! But I think back to my childhood, and my brother and I would go at it a lot.

Even though she isn't necessarily trying to hurt her brother she is certainly trying to wrestle, box, annoy, tickle, bother... etc. Outwardly, she's just more physical. Everything she does is.

I've resorted to telling them that I am charging them $1 for every minute that they disturb my peace and if they want to continue wrestling or acting up that they need to go outside, one of their rooms or next to their father cuz they mainly do it around me... :

The main thing I don't like about it is our youngest is learning to be very physical by watching all of it and I am not ready to deal with that yet.

[Teenytoona]

It's not just a boy thing, I think it's a crazy-wild-energetic kid thing. Our two teen girls do it too, hell my sisters and I used to do it. The main thing is just to make sure it doesn't turn into real angry fighting, and just stays in the horsing around realm.

[eloise24]

I work/live at a group home and have 10 boys who live with me, ages 10-13 . . . boys don't ever out grow their need to be active and physical. The girl's houses have peaceful & quiet Saturday afternoons, with naps and reading. Us? We spend the entire day, from 9 am to 7:30 pm outside! And they beg us to play outside on Sundays, too! I think boys are just created more active. If you read books with scientific research about boys and their brains, they will back that up. My advice- help them find fun and active ways to let out the energy and play with them! :-) Enjoy!

[Marsupialmom]

Please read the book "The Wonder of Boys" by Michael Gurian. It will help you understand your boys.

[lisser]

Another GREAT boy book is "Real Boys" It talks about how these playful (though often annoying) behaviours are actually helping them learn socially acceptable behaviours, limits (for themselves and others), and emotional perceptiveness (is that a word?)

Lisser