post #701 of 1038
6/13/09 at 1:22pm
remijo, i've been there. a pretty flaming lesbian with a DH and a baby (how did that happen ) he was the most hard-wired monogamous person I'd ever met. ever. but slowly slowly, we've worked it out. I have girlfriends. he doesn't. being poly doesn't mean we both have to be seeing other people.
the only condition we have is that my GFs need to also be friends with him - he doesn't want to be emotionally excluded.
and yeah, LOADS of open, honest communication. and patience. and a little red wine
Just my opinion for what its worth - it really depends on your husband. If he is the kind of guy that is going to get resentful about you being able to do what he should be able to do, it might be a serious cause for concern. Even if he says he is ok with it, you really need to probe his feelings on it. And honestly, I don't know many guys that are totally ok with their wives having sex with other women which they are not a part of or that they can't do themselves - its an evolutionary instinct to spread seed. My dh is one guy that is not into sex that much, has slept with less women than I have, and a threesome does not make him drool...but it was still a good decision to let him explore too just to balance the relationship out. However, its not wrong of you to want that, there may just be problems in executing the plan.