New Posts  All Forums:
 

Poly Families - Page 50

post #981 of 1038
4/7/10 at 2:01pm
to all the mamas that need one

I haven't been online in a bit, but my situation is evolving nicely. GF & I are still doing well as well as her and my DP. They are soooo sweet together . I am also doing a lot of talking and getting to know her BF. We have a lot in common and we are both total jabber jaws lol, so it's nice. There is definate interest there between the two of us, and it came totaly unexpected for me. (considering I was totaly not even up to having anything to do with him in the begining) I think that even though he tells DP and I that he is completely comfortable with everything, that there are still parts of him that is getting used to the whole situation. (understandably) I think it scares him how much my DP and his GF like each other. DP even thinks she is in love with him. I hope that he gets a little more comfortable soon, maybe an alone date with me will help

It's a great, rainy, spring day! I can't wait to see green grass and leaves and start the garden. Hope all is going well with you all!
Sponsored Links
post #982 of 1038
4/18/10 at 9:52pm
Im looking for some guidance and reassurance.

Im in a triad - two females and a male. The male is legally my husband, we were married before entering into poly. Our third, is *not* a secondary, we dont do hierarchy - we are all equal. DW and DH are very close emotionally. It has been an insecurity of mine. Im a very logical person, and though I posess emotions, I often process them quickly so I dont dwell or have them consume my life - Im working on living in my heart more, but alas - because of that, and because of personalities DW and DH have an intense emotional connection.

DH`s mother is dying - she has cancer, and will probably pass in the next few days. We are all very upset by this. Im worried as to how this is going to affect mine and DH`s relationship. DW told me that Ill be the stable one, the logical one - whereas she will be the `emo` one, and will probably cry with them. Im aware my role as stability is very important, and Im not trying to be someone Im not - but at the same time, because DH and my relationship is not in a strong place (due to the lack of emotional connection - we have talked about this in great length), that his mom`s passing will drive us farther apart, as I wont be emotional with him. Of course if he wants to cry with me I would let him, but he will most likely turn to her - which is fine. We all offer eachother different things yk.....

Can I get some tips as how not to feel insecure or threatened during this time. How can I support him in a way thats me, but in a way where he will know that I am there for him. I dont want to push us apart...but I dont know...

Help.
post #983 of 1038
4/18/10 at 10:52pm
poiyt
I think the only thing you can do is be honest. Be honest in how you feel and where you're at. There's no need to "be the strong, stable one" just because your partners expect that of you. If you feel like crying/ grieving, then do so. Just grieve in your own way, and let your DH know that you're there for him. I don't see that his mother's death would necessarily drive you apart, and it doesn't really make sense to plan for that.
post #984 of 1038
4/19/10 at 9:43am
So my BF asked me to hand-fast him by December...


but he did it over the phone and was a bit tipsy. I told him I couldn't say "yes" over the phone. So when he got home, he asked me again, very casually. I was able to say " I'd love to" then.

I was just floored. We'd talked about hand-fasting each other but never had a definite time. It's a huge step considering how often we fight LOL but i am confident we work well
post #985 of 1038
4/19/10 at 8:24pm
Congratulations BAS!
post #986 of 1038
4/22/10 at 1:01pm
Wow, congrats BettinaAuSucre!!
post #987 of 1038
4/22/10 at 5:23pm
Congrats, BAS!

My new lover is going to meet me at Beltaine! I'm very excited, and kind of nervous as I'll be ovulating. Ovulation + Beltaine + Incredibly hot lover = !!!!! I probably won't be "safe" until Sunday, if then, so we will have to be extremely cautious.
post #988 of 1038
4/22/10 at 5:33pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy View Post
Congrats, BAS!

My new lover is going to meet me at Beltaine! I'm very excited, and kind of nervous as I'll be ovulating. Ovulation + Beltaine + Incredibly hot lover = !!!!! I probably won't be "safe" until Sunday, if then, so we will have to be extremely cautious.
well, judging by your signature, you're overdue for another kidlet

jk
post #989 of 1038
4/22/10 at 6:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
well, judging by your signature, you're overdue for another kidlet

jk
Actually, I can't have another child until 2012. In fact, the new lover and I have discussed this. I told him about the pattern-- my kids were born in '02, '04, '06 and '08 so I had to have another child this year (no later than 20 December) or it would have to wait until 2012 (in May or September, most likely, because I don't have any Earth signs ). His response? "Assuming we feel the same way in a year and a half, I would be honored to plant a seed with you." (Can you see why I'm in love with this man? I nearly fainted, honestly. ) So yeah, we can't get pregnant because it breaks the pattern. I don't even want to think in terms of new patterns.
post #990 of 1038
4/22/10 at 6:07pm
I get that. but skipping 10 would make me twitchy. maybe your '12 baby will be twins, thus making up for the gap
post #991 of 1038
4/22/10 at 7:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by majikfaerie View Post
I get that. but skipping 10 would make me twitchy. maybe your '12 baby will be twins, thus making up for the gap
I could deal with that, provided that they were fraternal so that I could maintain the boy/girl balance without having two more kids!
post #992 of 1038
4/22/10 at 7:14pm
all right then! b/g twins in 2012 it is!
post #993 of 1038
4/26/10 at 4:38pm
Hurrah! Pre-planned twins!! haha

I keep hoping DP is pregnant with twins, but it's not likely... plus she keeps saying she's gonna kill me if I wish that one more time aloud.

On a side note, since this is a poly thread after all, I miss my boyfriend. He's so MIA lately. Argh.
post #994 of 1038
4/26/10 at 7:51pm
my sister says she wants twins. I think she's insane! but, otoh, she hasn't had any kids yet, so she might change her tune at some point
post #995 of 1038
4/26/10 at 9:13pm
I think twins would be easier as babies 5 and 6 than as 2 and 3, for example. That said, I'm perfectly content to have kids one at a time.
post #996 of 1038
5/3/10 at 1:12am
Well, Beltaine was everything that I could have hoped for. We had a simply amazing time. I can hardly wait to see him again! I'm only irritated that I forgot to ask him about a pseudonym.
post #997 of 1038
5/3/10 at 1:13am
that's great eilonwy
it's Samhain here, technically.
post #998 of 1038
5/3/10 at 10:00am
Exciting news on my front:

I got to meet my secondary's parents this weekend. His whole family is from Brooklyn, NY so it has been a blast hearing them deal with southern hospitality and twang! they are great people and i cannot wait one day to call them family
post #999 of 1038
5/3/10 at 10:10am
that is great news!
post #1000 of 1038
5/5/10 at 11:51am
So I asked the new lover what he wanted for a pseudonym and he said "My pseudonym is Jason", so that's what we're going with. He's delicious and I miss him.