Accepting Rejection

[Catsinthecradle]

I'm talking about sports teams here. After a grueling week or two of after-school games and tryouts which lasted until after 6 PM each day, my son was given a hat and a shirt by the coaches. After one game in his new gear, he was cut from the team and moved to a younger and less-skilled group.

Dh says that I should be happy that ds will get more playing time now, and besides, he can try out again next year. I feel angry at the thoughtless way the coaches order the kids around. I'm not a particularly competitive person, so I seem to be a stranger in a strange land. (To be perfectly honest, I don't like spectator sports. To participate is wonderful. To sit and watch and yell at the kids is just not my thing.)

Do any of you have feelings on this issue? Do your kids play sports? How often and how intense are the tryouts and the practices?

[Alkenny]

My kids both play sports, but we've only had to deal with rejection once...last year when DD tried out for cheerleading. She was DEVASTATED but then turned her attention towards running, joined the cross-country team and found her niche! She never would have persued that avenue if not for the rejection.

Oh, and wouldn't you know it...she's trying out for cheerleading AGAIN. But only for basketball season, because she wants to RUN.

It about tore me up inside seeing her so upset, but it is a cruel part of life and a learning experience.

[Marsupialmom]

I think your dh did the right thing, he tried to help your son see the brighter side of the situation. Learning that we are not always the best isn't easiest but it is part of learning one's self. It helps us find out what we are good at. It also can help us learn to play just for the fun of it.

It can be dangerous to just lump kids into sports by age, size and ability really should be considered. Be happy your son's sports group does do this.

[Catsinthecradle]

Thanks for the comments.

I wish the coaches would stress playing "for the fun of it," but to them, baseball is a most-serious activity, akin to breathing and eating.

I'm certainly happy that ds is playing and enjoying it, though. The problem lies with me, actually. I have never taken rejection well at all. I see favoritism and unfairness, and just steam over it all. I also tend to over-emphasize the rejection part and emotionalize every detail to the point of being ridiculous. That's just me.

I imagine he'll try again next season. Good thing I wasn't the one trying out. I would have probably quit.

[KarenEMT]

My son finally found a sport where he can participate and actually do well: Bicycling! I personally much prefer individual sports - my son has a chance to participate and he affects his own performance. The harder he has worked, the better he rides.

Anthony has Asperger's, and we knew the whole team sport thing was definitely not for him. Even the little local sports leagues here are uber-competitive. With the bicycling, he can feel good about himself and has found a sport he can do until he's very old