What would you have said? - Page 3

[aisraeltax]

i love the fact that i bf my baby but it did take me a good 2-3 months to be "comfortable" (in that i wasnt in pain, kwim?).

the rule of 2 weeks, IMHO, sets many new moms up for defeat.

[liv]

banning clients who choose not to breastfeed :rofl

[lml41981]

Originally Posted by 1boy1girl

Wow. It's really none of your business how your clients feed their babies.

It is none of anybody's business how anyone chooses to feed their babies, but we always have store employees, store owners, politicians, HOA managers, neighbors, friends, acquaintances and all their dogs telling us "[we] can't do THAT here." Everyone makes the way BFing moms feed their babies their business, so why can't she make it her business? Isn't that part of what lactivism is?

I'm not saying I agree with firing clients over this issue, but I take issue with the double standard (that I admit you haven't stated you support or agree with) where our BFing is the business of everyone else, but their FF isn't our business. Besides, from a public health standpoint, it is everyone's business how babies are fed.

Originally Posted by 1boy1girl

I have to agree. No Salon owner would put up with this. You're running off their customers.

Maybe she owns her salon...

[Unregistered]

Originally Posted by liv

banning clients who choose not to breastfeed :rofl

ITA

I'd say that you're concentrating on the wrong part of their body there kiddo, stick to the hair..mmkay?

[trolley]

If we all think it's okay to discriminate against bottle-feeding moms, then we don't have a right to complain when a breastfeeding mom is discriminated against. I thought lactivism is about education and support, not "one-uping" bottlefeeders. This thread makes me sad.

[Meiri]

Reading this thread again, I find myself wondering how much of a true milk phobia the mother in the OP has if she can bring herself to feed her baby..........Milk.

I too think that it's a cover for other discomfort issues she has, but since it's none of my business what people choose to not get counselling for, there's not much I can say.

As far as firing clients, if a stylist is that popular and in demand, I don't see why she couldn't. I don't know that that's the best way to be a lactivist though. What positive message about breastfeeding does that action send?

What I see those fired clients taking away from that experience is "those crazy breast nazis......." which is NOT conducive to getting the word out in a supportive manner.

I can't help but agree though that it is sad, and kind of crazy, to be more concerned about from whom one will get one's hair styled than with what one's baby will be fed.

[Meredith&Alexander]

Many salons are set up so that individual stylists lease their stations, but are not employees in a traditional sense. In that case, there's no penalty to the owner of the salon if a stylist chooses not to provide services to any particular client. It cuts into the stylist's income, but not the owner's.

I support her right to run her business any way she wants to. It's a free country, and bottlefeeding isn't a protected class in any state that I'm aware of. Rock on!

[annettemarie]

From everything the OP said, it sounds like this mama has some serious issues, and I hope she can get help.

That said, I think it's a waste of time to point to individual women and try to pick apart their reasons/excuses for not breastfeeding. Frankly, they don't owe us one, any more than we owe people who are against breastfeeding an excuse or apology for why we do it. Personally, I feel like this focusing on individuals just fuels the fire in the mommy wars and really helps no one. Us sitting here picking apart this mother isn't going to change her mind. Calling her up and accusing her of killing her baby or giving him substandard nutrition isn't going to do it either. I guess maybe it makes people feel smug and superior and self-righteous, but frankly I don't see that as being all that helpful to the cause.

I think the OP handled it perfectly. You "witnessed" to her about breastfeeding during her pregnancy, and you spoke gently to her after the fact about her options. I don't see what you could have said or done differently. I think if more people adopted your gentle attitude, more mothers would breastfeed.

Beyond that, I think we need to stop picking apart mamas and start directing our anger and frustration where it belongs--at society and corporations that not only don't support breastfeeding, but go out of their way to sabatage it.

[cjuniverse]

What annettemarie said.

It's not the mothers, it's the culture. Blame the source, not the product of it.

OP, you did all you could. People ultimately make their own decisions (in the context of their upbringings, socialization, and individual experience), as it should be. All we can do is lead by example, and offer assistance when asked.

[julie128]

Finn'sma, there was a group that wanted to teach black women about diabetes, so they went to beauty salons and taught the stylists about diabetes, and they gave them information to have in their salons. The program was a big success. As you know, women have a certain kind of relationship with their stylists. You could get some bf books and keep them in your salon as reading material. If anyone asks questions, you can answer. I don't think it's okay to push. You listened to your client, gave your 2c, leave it at that. Maybe next baby. You could suggest to her, however, that she add probiotics to the formula to reduce the risk of bowel trouble. All formulas in the future will have probiotics added. Whee!

[Ruthla]

If you were a doula, midwife, doctor, or other medical professonal, it would have been appropriate to say something to encourage her to BF. As her hair stylist, the most you can really do is coo over the baby and encourage her to snuggle that baby as much as possible.

[lissabob]

I have to say- you never know. I know a mom who just couldn't bf her first due to certain "mental" issues regarding bfing. She's determined to try it with her new baby. She and I went many rounds about this (along with some of the other forum members) and little by little we began to understand each other. I think one of the key things is this- this time around she has about 20 ladies standing behind her, ready to do anything they can to help. Support, information, encouragement... key things in a case like this.

Perhaps what the original mom has is more akin to an aversion.. she reacts at a gut level but can still function. :